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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have read on here than most people who suffer from SA avoid many situations. I am always forcing myself in to situations although I feel really nervous. I forced myself in to working behind a bar a few years ago and I was a nervous wreck and my boss nearly sacked me over it saying 'what has made you like this? You look terrified. I'm embarrassed for you'. I went to my drs the next day crying and she changed my meds which saved my job because I controlled my SA better. I still struggled really bad mentally though. Are there others here who force themselves in to things too?
 

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Sure, it's just finding the balance of forcing yourself so that you're defeating your anxiety demons rather than further solidifying in your mind that, "When I do this, I feel like this." Ten years of anxiety disorders and I'm still trying to learn that balance! Therapists were clear that it can harm or benefit - only you can decide which category the situation falls into. With the help of meds I'd assume you're benefitting yourself as they theoretically keep a lot of the symptoms at bay. :)
 

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yea sometimes i do it. forced myself to do a group therapy went one time, got so overwhelmed never went back. usually what happen though you force yourself and it turns out it's not even that bad after all. like you're mentally blowing up a balloon in your head over the situation, you get there and it's deflated.
 

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yeah i have forced myself to go for treatment this year after realizing my anxiety and depression have gotten worse this year, i have conquered my fear of going to a doctor and telling him/her my problem and that i need help, it was mostly finanical but i sucked it up and paid accordingly. I am on meds now, don't know if they are the right ones long term but have helped me deal with my problems. One of my biggest fears has been bars, i have avoided them alltogether but this year, i have gone to a few and had a good time, even though i was alone, thats still a big problem for me, forming relationships, i don't have a girlfriend, no true friends that i hang out with and do stuff with, it seemed easier when i was younger to make friends and that was still difficult but as a adult it is brutal. My anxiety still spikes when i think about social situations, it's just the meds have clamped down on the anxiety attacks and so on
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
That's what I've noticed - if I keep myself indoors for days and dont speak to anyone, I tend to get worse. I'm always thinking 'is it ever gonna go away?'. Just when I think I'm getting better, it always come back. My therapist told me that it is possible for me to become the confident person I wanna be but I don't see that happening.
 

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Yeah, I had a therapist who made me force myself to do uncomfortable things, and I saw how much doing it continually helped, so it's something I continued with after I stopped seeing her. I just try to view things that are scary for me as a good opportunity for personal growth.
 

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I force myself nowadays to never give up when I'm having a bad day at work. Or dealing with a ****ty client. When it comes to other stuff, depending on my mood, I'll do it forcingly and sometimes begrudgingly.
 

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I force myself to do things all day long. I force myself to talk to people I'm uncomfortable with, and train my co-workers on computer applications, because I just have to for my job. Years ago when I first got out of high school, I thought I would stop forcing myself to do things because the stress wasn't good for me. I forget whether that was before or after I had to take my college public speaking course. Anyway, what I found was that I got way worse when I stopped forcing myself to do things. Sometimes you have to keep pushing just to stay where you are.
 

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i force myself to do things as much as possible, ive realized that the situations im afraid of almost always turn out to be not that big a deal.
for me, its always that first step thats the hardest.. once im started i get going pretty good.
avoiding situations causes you to miss out on oppurtunities to try new things & meet new people. took me a while to realize that
 

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I used to force myself to do things alot.

It almost always turned out badly.

Now I just keep to myself and generally focus on daily routine...
 

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I force myself into social situations as often as possible. I'm still nervous, but I'm getting practice in conversation and I truly believe it's the only way to get better (when you're on your own, which I feel like I am pretty much). I think the more I push myself the less nervous I'll become over time.
 

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Others do the forcing for me. They push me. I hate it but it does help a bit via exposure but no generalization happens. If a small change occurs (e.g. new job) a new cycle of anxiety/fear begins. Knowing this makes me fear change.
 

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Yes, now that I'm in college, I've been forcing myself to go to events and meetings held by several organizations. I'm a month into my first year of uni and so far I've forced myself to go to 4 events: a football game, a tailgate/cook out event before the game; a Saudi Arabian cultural event; and a meeting for this organization. My SA was still severe at these events. There are also times when I make the most awkward comments whenever someone expects a comment from me, but I just want to get used to not feeling so damn nervous around people.
 

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Has this actually worked for anybody?

I've had jobs where I worked with the same people for years and I was still nervous around them the day I left. Forcing myself to talk to them didn't seem to work.
 

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I force myself into social situations as often as possible. I'm still nervous, but I'm getting practice in conversation and I truly believe it's the only way to get better (when you're on your own, which I feel like I am pretty much). I think the more I push myself the less nervous I'll become over time.
Absolutely. I've been doing this for the past few years. This is actually one of the things I've been focusing on in particular. I seem to have these set dates where I push myself out there no matter what the reaction from others might be.

I'm actually going to do this tonight, since I am going out. We'll see what happens.
 

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I have read on here than most people who suffer from SA avoid many situations. I am always forcing myself in to situations although I feel really nervous. I forced myself in to working behind a bar a few years ago and I was a nervous wreck and my boss nearly sacked me over it saying 'what has made you like this? You look terrified. I'm embarrassed for you'. I went to my drs the next day crying and she changed my meds which saved my job because I controlled my SA better. I still struggled really bad mentally though. Are there others here who force themselves in to things too?
Awww your story about the bar and your boss really made me feel for you.

I think you're very brave to keep pushing yourself and challenging the fear of doing things. That is the key to beating SA but it takes real guts which you obviously have. Have you read the book "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Dr Susan Jeffers by any chance or did you just instinctively know you had do it?

You have to keep pushing yourself outside your comfort zone to expand it and grow, else you shrink and your world gets smaller and smaller. As your world gets smaller, so your fear grows larger and larger.
 

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I forced myself to go running every day and that really helped my confidence tremendously. It's funny how one fear challenge beat then pays off in so many other ways. Like with the running, I got very physically fit, I looked better and I got more confident in the way I looked, which in turn made me feel more relaxed speaking to people... and just the routine of doing the running every day at the same time, made me less anxious about going out and facing people the more I did it. Such that it became a habit and I could greet the same people I would see on my route.
 
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