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do you have friends? how do you live your life? what do you do everyday?
 

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Failure's Art
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I do not have friends. I have some former friends I sometimes keep in touch with. That's it.

I'd classify my SA as somewhat severe. I'm also avoidant af and generally like to be doing my own thing and so as a consequence have almost no social relationships. Just on a totally different wavelength than everyone else.

These days I don't do much. Work (from home), listen to music, read. That's about it. Can't even run or hike anymore due to an injury.
 

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I would say it's pretty severe. I don't have friends and never had any, not even as a kid. I've always been a reject. I actually haven't talked to people the same age as me since I was done with school. With the end of school, all opportunities for me to meet people have died, just like that. For the last 10 years I only had the same 2 relatives that I interact with on a regular basis.

I'm unemployed, I still live with my parents and only leave the house when I have to. I can't even bring out the trash because I don't want to bump into the neighbors. I only force myself to leave the house if I'm going to the doctor or seeing my therapist. And since I can't see therapist in person anymore because of covid, I stopped going outside on a weekly basis.

When I feel like it I play video games, although I can rarely motivate myself these days. Usually it's sitting at my desk killing time by browsing random websites or watching random youtube videos, nothing of which particularly interests or excites me or that I would remember the next day. Oftentimes I don't remember on which day I did what. My days kind of seem to blur together. I mostly just hide quietly in my room and only leave it to eat or for toilet breaks. I try to do what little I can to stay physically healthy at home like doing push-ups, dumb bells but that's about it.
 

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aldehyde dehydrogenaser
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I would consider mine to be severe. I look and play the part but I can't actually be the part. Barely any friends except for a best friend but even that is strained. Mostly just hang around family but that was pre-covid. I dont see them anymore which severely limits my social contact. Work, shop and sleep. Lots of sleeping.

I don't think I've made small talk ever. Like, ever ever in person anyway. I guess you could say that my social growth stunted at some point? The anxiety never improved beyond a certain age so I'm stuck here pretty much. I feel optimistic though, at least tonight. Weekends are spent inside or trying to do one active thing. I think that's normal for a lot of people though.
 

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Super Moderator
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I would say that mine (all else equal) would be considered moderate or somewhere between mild and moderate if there were not "comorbidities" such as complicated epilepsy (Which I believe has caused significant cognitive impairment).

IOW, even if your SA is fundamentally fairly mild, it can end up being more substantial due to things that even most other people with SA don't have to deal with. Such as the fear of having seizures in front of other people. Which is something that most people who have known me never even knew I had epilepsy and I would be sneaking around to take my pills and stuff even as I was hanging out with people who knew almost everything else about me. It was my one big, dark secret that was too embarrassing to talk about with anyone. Even doctor's visits for medication refills have always filled me with dread.

In the end, all of my different unusual issues have combined to make me someone who just prefers solitude. As long as I can hide most of the things that make me weird, my anxiety is fairly mild. I am fairly OK at dealing with strangers who don't know anything about me as long as they don't ask any questions and my encounters with them are relatively superficial. Things get awkward fast if (for example) someone asks what kind of work I do or something.
 

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SUS Member
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I wouldn't really call what I have Social Anxiety. I prefer the term RFMA (Reasonable Fear of Murder Apes). What I am is severely ****ed up.

I have one friend who lives in a different town that I talk to about 2 or 3 times a year and one online friend that I talk to several times a week.

I spend almost all of my time alone in my room. I push myself to do as much work as I can, writing, editing, and researching, because I can't work with the public, I can't get disability, and my family won't support me. I live in constant dread of being homeless, but I might be able to put it off for a year or two. I'm hoping therapy will help.

Like @WillYouStopDave said, we're not all here for the same reason. I've never been particularly concerned about what people think of me, or embarrassing myself, and I don't have poor self-esteem or a particularly negative self-concept. These seem to be common problems for many of the users here. I would never avoid talking to someone simply because I'm afraid they might think I'm weird or because they might reject me. I'm not particularly bothered by the fact that people see me as "non-contributing" so I don't really care if they know that I don't have a regular job or that I'm poor because I have MH issues. Excruciating sensitivity to other people's opinions seems like a SAD thing, and I doubt I'm more sensitive than most people. I will just tell people that I have an anxiety disorder, that I'm too afraid to do something because of my anxiety, etc. I'm pretty open about all of that. But I won't go into details with them because...

What I'm afraid of is being murdered by random strangers, or not being able to stop myself from murdering them. That's my "violence-related pure O OCD with occasional poor insight" at work. The end result is that I generally only feel safe when I'm inside my room by myself, but it's for different reasons than most people here and to most people it probably looks like SA. I obviously don't go around telling people IRL that I don't want to talk to other people because I'm afraid I'll murder them. That kind of thing tends not to go down well. I've never told anyone in my family that, or my IRL friends. Only my therapist, my online friend, and people here know I have that problem. I can't really think of a better way to Lose Friends and Horrify People than to admit something like that, and I don't want people to be scared of me.

Ftr, I have never hurt anyone IRL. I'm about as dangerous as a chinchilla. But when I have an episode I'm convinced that I'm going to rip through people like a xenomorph. It can be thrilling at times, though. I won't lie, I never get bored. But it is kind of a living hell.
 

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SAS Member
8800 blue lick road
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Probably it's fluctuated a little over the years? But I also have other undiagnosed issues. Those might be what fluctuated. It's hard to draw lines with so many symptoms. I avoid people for several reasons one of them is because I'm non-binary (many non-binary people avoid spending too much time around people who don't get it if they can.) There's a bunch of stuff I've done in the past that most here wouldn't do though (going clubbing and to parties etc,) even some stuff now (concerts.) I just have a weird symptom profile I think historically a lot of my anxiety was over hierarchy and expectations, doctors appointments, phone calls, anything that's new, but there was some in general social situations and then that got worse.

It's weird me being here really because even making YouTube videos lol. There are several things I've done/do that I know people here would never do yet they manage to do more important things that I can't do.

There's a lot I avoid talking about here, since I don't relate to maybe 80% of the most active posters and probably vice versa and this place isn't very safe. I know many other posters have left for this reason (some with severe anxiety and others with mild I mean mild people don't really need to stick around typically they have other stuff to do and people in their life they can talk to.)
 

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I would say it's pretty severe. I don't have friends and never had any, not even as a kid. I've always been a reject. I actually haven't talked to people the same age as me since I was done with school. With the end of school, all opportunities for me to meet people have died, just like that. For the last 10 years I only had the same 2 relatives that I interact with on a regular basis.

I'm unemployed, I still live with my parents and only leave the house when I have to. I can't even bring out the trash because I don't want to bump into the neighbors. I only force myself to leave the house if I'm going to the doctor or seeing my therapist. And since I can't see therapist in person anymore because of covid, I stopped going outside on a weekly basis.

When I feel like it I play video games, although I can rarely motivate myself these days. Usually it's sitting at my desk killing time by browsing random websites or watching random youtube videos, nothing of which particularly interests or excites me or that I would remember the next day. Oftentimes I don't remember on which day I did what. My days kind of seem to blur together. I mostly just hide quietly in my room and only leave it to eat or for toilet breaks. I try to do what little I can to stay physically healthy at home like doing push-ups, dumb bells but that's about it.
There are a lot of people who love physical exercise. Have you thought about joining some forums, sharing tips and learning new ways of doing things? When we strive to become better at things, it gives us a sense of pride in ourselves and can often boost our confidence too. :)
 

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Probably it's fluctuated a little over the years? But I also have other undiagnosed issues. Those might be what fluctuated. It's hard to draw lines with so many symptoms. I avoid people for several reasons one of them is because I'm non-binary (many non-binary people avoid spending too much time around people who don't get it if they can.) There's a bunch of stuff I've done in the past that most here wouldn't do though (going clubbing and to parties etc,) even some stuff now (concerts.) I just have a weird symptom profile I think historically a lot of my anxiety was over hierarchy and expectations, doctors appointments, phone calls, anything that's new, but there was some in general social situations and then that got worse.

It's weird me being here really because even making YouTube videos lol. There are several things I've done/do that I know people here would never do yet they manage to do more important things that I can't do.

There's a lot I avoid talking about here, since I don't relate to maybe 80% of the most active posters and probably vice versa and this place isn't very safe. I know many other posters have left for this reason (some with severe anxiety and others with mild I mean mild people don't really need to stick around typically they have other stuff to do and people in their life they can talk to.)
It's a crying shame that some feel a Forum such as this isn't a safe place to post. It's important for people's growth amongst other things to feel welcome, valued and needed. We should strive to encourage and nurture this behaviour for the benefit of the Forum and its members. :)
 

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8800 blue lick road
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It's a crying shame that some feel a Forum such as this isn't a safe place to post. It's important for people's growth amongst other things to feel welcome, valued and needed. We should strive to encourage and nurture this behaviour for the benefit of the Forum and its members. :)
I don't really feel anywhere is safe though to be fair. I mean it's not acceptable to be seen as weak, so I spend a lot of time whining here (more than most,) and I'm quite open about certain things as a result I look terrible and contemptible (because complaining is a sign of weakness, you're not supposed to care in the first place,) but there are topics I will often avoid bringing up.

Also if your emotional expression tends to anger/hostility (which mine def does often. I've also been temp banned here a few times a lot of my infractions are for conflicts some are for other things but many are conflicts or posting aggressive things,) people really hate that too and it makes sense from an evolutionary point of view but yeah, then you have the clashing opinions on top of the emotional expression. You can't really have a space where everyone fits for this reason.
 

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IOW, even if your SA is fundamentally fairly mild, it can end up being more substantial due to things that even most other people with SA don't have to deal with.
Echoing this. Just because you can more or less talk to strangers, it doesn't mean you're not dealing with lots of social anxiety in other areas. There's also the fact that when many people talk about severe social anxiety, they're usually throwing in other things like depression, lacking social skills, being eccentric, and other things which are not strictly social anxiety but make socializing extremely difficult.
 

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There are a lot of people who love physical exercise. Have you thought about joining some forums, sharing tips and learning new ways of doing things? When we strive to become better at things, it gives us a sense of pride in ourselves and can often boost our confidence too. :)
Yeah that's one of the reasons why I do it. It's one of the few aspects that I have complete control over just by watching what I eat and by how often I excercise. It's something I can do all by myself and there is no pressure from the outside. Right now it's keeping me from becoming overweight, although I do wish do build some muscle in the future. I think it would be really beneficial for my confidence. It's just hard to do without any equipment. I would like to join a gym but unfortunately that's out of the question at the moment.

Echoing this. Just because you can more or less talk to strangers, it doesn't mean you're not dealing with lots of social anxiety in other areas. There's also the fact that when many people talk about severe social anxiety, they're usually throwing in other things like depression, lacking social skills, being eccentric, and other things which are not strictly social anxiety but make socializing extremely difficult.
I think those things just come with the territory. If your anxiety is severe you're most likely lacking in social skills because you've been avoiding social situations for years. You also become depressed because we're a social species and we rely on the exchange with other people.
 

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Send me a social-anxiety-o-meter and I'll let you know what reading I get. Everyone's definitions of severe social anxiety are completely arbitrary and contradictory with everyone else's.

One simple rule would be that someone with severe social anxiety is too afraid to post about having severe social anxiety. There's people who come to forums like this for decades but have no or just a few posts. So all of us here are doing way too well to have anything to complain about.
 

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Pretty severe. I can't function at any capacity around people or a job. I'm quite intelligent but around people my mind goes blank. I'm ok one on one with friends but even they notice my limitations and eventually leave. I honestly hate humans (no offense to any of you) but people have caused me nothing but pain be it a friend or some waste of life doing horrendous things. Driving is a challenge and drains me. Little everyday things are a challenge and I'm always mentally exhausted. How am I still alive at 33? Zero idea but I'm certain my anxiety is ironically saving my life bc without it I'd have the ovaries to end it all.
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Socializing with myself
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I chronically suffer with social anxiety, since I was a child. My social anxiety causes me to have a racing heart during situations where I feel isolated or troubled by someone, because in my mind, I think the people are going to behave rudely or criticize me. I also have an irregular heartbeat that skips and I suffer greatly with sleep.


I live day to day learning that the people are not sane enough to take care of themselves or being around others. I learned that an A.I Computer governs the citizens in their environment, while the citizen itself don't know how to manage themselves correctly. I have panic attacks talking about A.I Computers on this community, because the people can discriminate my posts. The people don't understand that I'm suffering, because I never had any income, a career or any human interaction to make a living. My experiences in person with people are not normal and my attempts at trying to get jobs have been unsuccessful since I graduated High School at age 19.
 

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A Person
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I wouldnt say I am moderate. I'm very good at masking. When I go out, I feel like everyone hates me or is judging me. I'm so nervous of people really.
But I can hold down a job, I've been to concerts/parties/clubs, travelled solo, had conversations with people so I can do some things. But those things do not come easy at all.
I don't have many friends at all. I only have 2 in my hometown. One I'm not that close with, and the other one I'm about to lose. I dont have much physical company but, I don't mind it.
All of my hobbies and interests I can do in my home.
 

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bipolar
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If you met me you probably wouldn't think I have social anxiety - but you'd be mistaken. My anxiety is often extreme - I'm just very good at covering it up sometimes. If I'm in a group I'm often the one talking or carrying the conversation - but this will depend on my mood (very much so) and who is in the group. (types of personalities etc)

Nowadays the mere fact I'm talking to someone can become over-stimulating and I can become manic - which makes me talk more etc etc. My problems are becoming more complicated the older I get.
 

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Dog in the sun.
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It's severe enough to have kept me from developing normally, like having an independent job, going to university or having friends or a girlfriend. I'm very afraid of situations where I might be judged negatively or humiliated, and feel I am, most times for no good reason; that makes me unintentionally externalize my anxiety, which people then actually notice, closing the circle. I don't go out much, doing so takes it out of me, and takes a lot of mental/emotional preparation. Too many people is horrible, yet one-on-one can be worse. I avoid talking to people who are friendly to me because I don't want them to realize what a manchild weirdo I am. After interactions I scrutinize them and find all the things I did (or perceive I did) wrong. Those mistakes are burned into my brain and come back randomly and I find myself saying things out loud like "You idiot" or "Poor thing, he's got issues", all the way to "You should shoot yourself in the face". Any situation where I'm the center of attention is pretty much Hell. I used to have panic attacks (or close enough) when out of my comfort zone, which is pretty much anywhere outside my house, although they haven't happened to me in a while now.

I've gotten better lately, so maybe I can't call it "extreme" now. Then again, I haven't really put myself out there in a long time. I should also say SA is most likely not my only mental health problem.
 

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It's severe enough to have kept me from developing normally, like having an independent job, going to university or having friends or a girlfriend. I'm very afraid of situations where I might be judged negatively or humiliated, and feel I am, most times for no good reason; that makes me unintentionally externalize my anxiety, which people then actually notice, closing the circle. I don't go out much, doing so takes it out of me, and takes a lot of mental/emotional preparation. Too many people is horrible, yet one-on-one can be worse. I avoid talking to people who are friendly to me because I don't want them to realize what a manchild weirdo I am. After interactions I scrutinize them and find all the things I did (or perceive I did) wrong. Those mistakes are burned into my brain and come back randomly and I find myself saying things out loud like "You idiot" or "Poor thing, he's got issues", all the way to "You should shoot yourself in the face". Any situation where I'm the center of attention is pretty much Hell. I used to have panic attacks (or close enough) when out of my comfort zone, which is pretty much anywhere outside my house, although they haven't happened to me in a while now.

I've gotten better lately, so maybe I can't call it "extreme" now. Then again, I haven't really put myself out there in a long time. I should also say SA is most likely not my only mental health problem.
I pretty much will agree with what the majority of people on here said.. it's severe enough that kept me from having a normal life, and being to live a functional /productive life.. i had to drop out of school, i had to quit several jobs, etc, i didn't have the typical life that most of the kids i grew up with had, i avoided many things, and i still do.. it's disabling for me.. i feel like i can't be myself around people, im always afraid i am going to be judged that if i do something people will say something negative, it's a terrible way to live.

im trying to slowly overcome and get better at it, by practice skills and putting myself out there (although its a bit hard during the pandemic) and i try to hope for the best..
 

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Dog in the sun.
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i feel like i can't be myself around people, im always afraid i am going to be judged that if i do something people will say something negative, it's a terrible way to live.
It is. Unless I'm having one of those magical days where everything works out perfect, inhibition takes over and I become a bumbling idiot. And it's painful.
im trying to slowly overcome and get better at it, by practice skills and putting myself out there (although its a bit hard during the pandemic) and i try to hope for the best..
It's all we can do. You're so right about the pandemic. I've experienced a bunch of bursts of motivation since it started, but couldn't find activities to put them to use. Timing sucks.

Best of luck to you.
 
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