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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like in conversations I am focused SO Much on all the wrong things that I don't comprehend the conversation...also, when i am out in public I don't really notice my surroundings because I am fixated on how I look, how other people might be seeing me...anyone else feel like they never know what is going on? Or is it just me...I would actually feel better if people who don't feel this way replied, then I would know that it isnt my anxiety and I just need to be less ditsy and more aware!
 

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I'm like that too, i am very self conscious in public and not so aware of what is going on around me, and i focus too much on my physical appearance to others wondering if i look okay and all that..its really daunting and i've been dealing with it, it seems FOREVER..i don't like the feelings that i get and i feel so dumb.
 

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I swear that many people I've interacted with assume that "doesn't say much" = "simple mind." It's just in the tone they use and other things in the way they address me. I find it demeaning.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i know i dont have a simple mind because i think about heavy things, yet i am really not that observant or good at school (maybe just not good at studying or paying attention to class) it leaves me confused about my intellgience because usually both things go together it seems...anyone else feel this way?
 

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it sort of makes you temporarily unresponsive (or irresponsive :con). My uncle said it well. He said: "you seem non-present".
it doesn't make you dumb. You notice other things because your body is involved in a different game. Nobody's dumb. Fast conversations are hard to follow for us. SA sort of makes your mind compulsively follow one string of thought. Other people can forget things quickly. That's what makes them seem smarter. They don't care about what they just said or what they just saw. They don't linger anayisng how else it could be interpreted. They quickly move on to the next thing. Once you forget your current thought, you allow that space to be filled with something else. And so they may sometimes overlook things (making them look temporarily stupid) but they never take it seriously. They may make a little joke out of it and move on. Nobody kills them for that.

If you have problems with school work, why don't you take out the factor of social anxiety. Just take tomorrow's topic and study a little bit at home. Otherwise you end up being concerned with sa problems, with thoughts that you're dumb and a lot of school work, which is sort of happening in the background of the class. I'm not saying u should turn into a nerd who studies a year in advance, but this may give you initial confidence that you can actually do it. School work is nothing hard. If you've never studied by yourself you may find it difficult at first, but trust me once you make that first discovery that you can work things out by yourself, it will come easy.
 

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Goran said:
it sort of makes you temporarily unresponsive (or irresponsive :con). My uncle said it well. He said: "you seem non-present".
it doesn't make you dumb. You notice other things because your body is involved in a different game. Nobody's dumb. Fast conversations are hard to follow for us. SA sort of makes your mind compulsively follow one string of thought. Other people can forget things quickly. That's what makes them seem smarter. They don't care about what they just said or what they just saw. They don't linger anayisng how else it could be interpreted. They quickly move on to the next thing. Once you forget your current thought, you allow that space to be filled with something else. And so they may sometimes overlook things (making them look temporarily stupid) but they never take it seriously. They may make a little joke out of it and move on. Nobody kills them for that.
:agree

Good post. Since starting an AD my short term memory hasn't been as good - in a way though this helps conversations because something which I become unduly concerned with is easily pushed to the side and forgotten.
 

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I've noticed a huge lack in my performance at work due to my anxiety and depression and general bad mental health. It takes me very long to do just simple projects, and I make dumb mistakes.

Sometimes I forget what month of the year it is. When I try to recall the date, my though process goes something like this: I know I'm in a 16 week semester at school, so it must be either Spring or Fall. Then I think of the weather outside...if it's cold, it's fall, and if it's warm, it's spring. Then I tell myself, you idiot! it's October, why didn't you remember that?!

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and for a few seconds wonder what day of the week it is--whether it's a weekend or a weekday. My reasoning process and my ability to think on my feet is compromised, I've noticed. It's wierd...almost like I'm starting to get dementia.
 

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Oh, one more thing. I seem "not there" as well. People at work even mention this to me. If there's a meeting that I must go to, I usually don't know about it until someone tells me it's time to go. I'm unaware of tons of things that happen in the office because I'm either too focused on my own work or my mental condition does it--I don't know. I'm less alert.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
ok so...does anyone NOT feel this way?! haha...so that we can know that it maybe doesn't have anything to do with the anxiety
 

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Yes, it makes me wicked dumb. I don't form sentences right, I mix up my words, I don't comprehend instructions well...all despite the fact that I am very intelligent considering how well I did in college.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
question

so you did pretty well in college? what helped you do well? Just your intelligence or anything else hahaJust wondering because I am NOT doing well at atll!
 

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dumb and anxiety are two different things. And even then it depends on how you define "dumb". In fact sometimes it can be an advantage in school to not have a social life as you compensate by studying more.
 

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Yep, my SA has definitely made me pretty dumb. It's hard to reach your potential intellectually when you are constantly so fixated on your own feelings about absolutely everything. I feel like I miss out on what other people are learning when I'm selfishly lost in my own thoughts. And of course, my vocabulary really suffers, too. I can write, but speaking is a whole 'nuther thing! I'm not stupid, but I'm sure I come across that way to other people often.
 

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raalka said:
It's hard to reach your potential intellectually when you are constantly so fixated on your own feelings about absolutely everything. I feel like I miss out on what other people are learning when I'm selfishly lost in my own thoughts. .
I feel the same way too. I don't think my SA has made me dumb about everything, just any area that involves expressing myself. And it carries on to my schoolwork. Like no matter how hard I try I'm generally terrible at writing essays and speeches for school because I get some kind of intense communication anxiety or something... but I'm pretty good at any other class that I apply myself in. I know it's not an excuse because I feel an anxiety that's as bad as my SA whenever I'm trying to write a paper or even doing research for a paper. I just don't understand it.
 

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Jess said:
i know i dont have a simple mind because i think about heavy things, yet i am really not that observant or good at school (maybe just not good at studying or paying attention to class) it leaves me confused about my intellgience because usually both things go together it seems...anyone else feel this way?
Well, studying from the books is one thing for me... however, because I decide to exclude myself from social situations, I really don't have a good grasp of my surroundings or with whatever is going on in the world. So, when I'm in a social gathering, I don't have much to say because I don't know what's going on or "what's new".

I do talk more no matter where it is if I have an understanding of the conversation. However, if I can't grasp what people are talking about, then I feel I shouldn't embarrass myself by speaking up about an issue they are knowledgeable about. When I read some of the posts on this message board (mostly in the news section), I feel like I shouldn't be posting there for these reasons.

I've always had this issue with my intelligence. Sometimes I feel good and most times I don't. I think if I just gave myself more of a chance to be immersed in discussions, I would eventually pick up on things.

It really all comes down to whether I just want to accept that or not. So far, I haven't chose to do so. I'd really like to do so though because I'm missing a valuable part of my life (ya, im sure everybody else realizes that too).
 

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being a newbie on this site, I'm still amazed at how many of my experiences are everyone's experiences. Jess, like you, i am more focused on what i'm going to say, how it will sound, more than comprehending the question or what the person is saying. of course in the end i usually have no idea what they have said. i believe that anxiety doesn't make you stupid it just makes you appear that way, which in todays day and age with most things relying on images for us to form opinions, is terribly frustrating.

RG ;)
 

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SA tends to make me a bit slow to respond, at times, but general anxiety and worry and stress and all that stuff tends to make me work harder and more productively. I passed all eight of my AP exams in high school because of stress and worry.

xoxo
Maggi
 
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