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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I haven't always been like this, but lately I've lost the desire to kiss either of my parents on the cheek. My mom will ask for a kiss, but I can't give her one. I could never kiss my dad, mostly because he and I have a tense relationship. I love giving hugs, but I dislike giving them to people I'm not close to. I also hate when you go in to give someone a tight, real hug and they barely pat you on the back. Anyone have issues with affection?? And btw, I have no issue with giving affection to a boyfriend. :yes
 

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ive been like this pretty much my whole life, so i don't know if our issues are really comparable, but for me the aversion to affection fades away if i sort of ease into it. so, for example, i have a really touchy feely friend, and i was never like that, but the more often he hugged me, the more i adjusted to it and felt comfortable with it. i think it has to do with my personal comfort level with the person. do you feel less comfortable around your mom than you have in the past?
 

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Noona
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
ive been like this pretty much my whole life, so i don't know if our issues are really comparable, but for me the aversion to affection fades away if i sort of ease into it. so, for example, i have a really touchy feely friend, and i was never like that, but the more often he hugged me, the more i adjusted to it and felt comfortable with it. i think it has to do with my personal comfort level with the person. do you feel less comfortable around your mom than you have in the past?
Oddly enough, my mother and I are alot closer than we've been in the past. I'm definitely the problem. My SA has gotten worse and so has my fear or shame of being vulnerable. Kissing my parents or any other family member makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I'm glad that you have a different experience and that you can ease into your affection.
 

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medicinmels
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81 Posts
I am not an affectionate person. It's strange, I am busting my *** to hopefully become surgeon so I know that I'll have to touch people. I do not mind touching people in that context, because I know that I am helping that person. For some reason, I cannot touch people like family members or other people. I feel very distant and cold, but it is my personality. I have never had a boyfriend, but I don't really like kissing, making out, hugging, or even accidentally touching. I hate seeing people doing it as well. I guess because I am not used to it? So weird..thanks for bringing this thread up. You've got me thinking more about this! :)
 

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slave
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It depends on who the person is. If I am not very close to or care for said person, then I have a hard time giving hugs (let alone kissing) or hugging back someone I don't feel connected with. I just react like a robot.

I don't even like it when family kisses or hugs me, but if it's a friend or someone I actually enjoy spending time with then it's a different story.
 

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It bothers me a lot. I may say *hugs* online and I do mean it as a comfort, happy thing. But in real life there are few people I'll even hug. I have to feel safe with them for that and that's really rare. My family has never been really affectionate. My mother generally only offers hugs when I'm really flipping out which is the worst time to offer them because I'd likely shove her away from me.
 

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Quack
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1,673 Posts
I'm a robot - I don't even remember the last time I showed any kind of affection to anyone. Sometimes I want to because it seems like the right thing to do in certain situations but I just can't bring myself to do it.
 

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It's weird for me I guess. My parents were never close to me like that while growing up, so when my dad randomly hugs me I just wait for him to go away. Doesn't help that he's drunk 95% of the times he hugs me.

However, something as simple as a hug from my guidance counsellor at school has made a seemingly terrible day go much better than expected. I wish I got hugs more from other people, I think I'd feel a lot happier. I still wonder daily what it would be like to cuddle with a girl though.
 
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