Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,284 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I tend to have this angry look as my neutral face. I remember in a class this week a female lecturer (very young actually) looked at me and said
"you really look like you're ready to work"

Does a serious expression really give off that bad off a vibe.

I assure you, when I am relaxed, i can tell jokes and be quite entertaining, but if I am walking down the road, sitting in a class, or just otherwise minding my own business, I keep a VERY serious face. It just comes natural to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,475 Posts
I'm afraid it can give off a bad vibe. My neutral face is very serious, and it does put people off of me. I asked one person at work why people sometimes avoid talking to me, and she said its because I sometimes have a serious, or even angry, look on my face. I've always been the same - I remember in primary school the teacher constantly telling me to smile. Once at college a girl walked in the class and said to me "your face" with a laugh. I thought for a long time she thought I was ugly, but I realise now I probably had this serious look on my face (at least I hope that's what she meant :? )

It is hard to stop having this as your neutral face when its become natural to you over the years, but I do try to smile now (with my eyes as well as my mouth), and hopefully people won't think i'm so unapproachable.

The fact is that people will be a lot more likely to like you if you have an warm, open, happy face, rather than a serious or angry face. I know how hard it is to change how your expression is, i've started making a real effort but do find it a struggle, as my face will revert back to being serious and frowning if I forget to try.
 

·
She-Wolf
Joined
·
5,984 Posts
i think the reaction towards someone with a "serious" or "angry" facial expression is more of a natural instinct in a way. without even thinking about it you might be naturally apprehensive if you can't determine their intentions through their facial expression, or that their intentions might not seem positive.

at least for me, it's like a subconcious thing that when i'm talking to a guy (or anyone, in fact) and they have a serious or blank expression i feel more nervous or anxious as i don't know what they are thinking or feeling, but once they smile a part of me feels a bit more at ease. you know what i mean? i think it is even an innate biological instinct.

yeah, my expression is definitely too serious. it's hard to always think when i'm interacting with someone, since i always have so much going on in my mind e.g. "what do i say?", "i need to project my voice", "remember to talk slowly", "try to look them in the eye", "stand up straight", "don't look awkward". so reminding myself to make sure my expression is a bit more positive and less off-putting is one of many thoughts in my head.


i've had many people tell me that i look too blank or serious, and that they have no idea what is going on in my head. i hate it. i must seem incredibly boring. i've been straight up told i'm too serious and that i should change that because it makes the other person who said that think they shouldn't act silly or spontaneous :/. i'm like the least serious person ever, i swear, i take nothing in life seriously


another problem is that it's really hard for me to force a smile, or a more relaxed face in social situations since even if i'm enjoying it i'm still tense. i always hate my smile. always so much on my mind about this silly stuff :/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,284 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i've had many people tell me that i look too blank or serious, and that they have no idea what is going on in my head. i hate it. i must seem incredibly boring. i've been straight up told i'm too serious and that i should change that because it makes the other person who said that think they shouldn't act silly or spontaneous :/. i'm like the least serious person ever, i swear, i take nothing in life seriously

another problem is that it's really hard for me to force a smile, or a more relaxed face in social situations since even if i'm enjoying it i'm still tense. i always hate my smile. always so much on my mind about this silly stuff :/
As I mentioned before, I can become a complete clown when talking to people, if I want to. By no means do I talk to girls while staring off in the distance and responding in a monotone.

However, when walking down the road, or working on something.. why smile ? It just don't feel natural. It feels more like playing a beauty pageant than just living.
 

·
She-Wolf
Joined
·
5,984 Posts
yeah - in those situations, you shouldn't even be expected to smile. even though you said others have mentioned it, it's not a big deal. if someone talks to you and your expression is still constanlty that serious or angry look, then it's something i would work on, but if you can change and you are fine with being animated when needed then thats fine.
 

·
"Why So Serious?"
Joined
·
901 Posts
I have been told that I have a "serious face" a few times and that I should smile a lot more than I do. I mean sometimes I am happy and I still kind of have that serious look. My neutral face is just serious looking, why can't people understand ffs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,672 Posts
Why should you smile if you have nothing to smile about? It's stupid! It's ok to smile in a friendly manner when saying hello to someone o'r something but otherwise it's stupid.

I think that someone who smiles excessively can be scary too!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
302 Posts
Why should you smile if you have nothing to smile about? It's stupid! It's ok to smile in a friendly manner when saying hello to someone o'r something but otherwise it's stupid.

I think that someone who smiles excessively can be scary too!
I do have things to smile about but I tend to be more content with it then excessively happy about it. The one thing that I hear so much is "smile more, it makes a big difference!". I just don't see it that way, if I smiled tomorrow then I would have more friends, a girlfriend and a high paying job?

Happiness is measured out in years, not for the day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,192 Posts
I remember one day at work, a co-worker that I've never said a word to before, he says "you always look so serious." A month later, another unrelated co-worker said almost the exact same thing.

Ever since then, I'm always self conscious about it. But in a way, it's helped me because I now know to make an effort to appear happier/friendlier around people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
334 Posts
I have a serious looking face, people are always commenting about how I don't smile enough, or that I always look angry. I think that it does scare people away, but there is nothing I can do about it because I have a really ugly smile.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,211 Posts
I assure you, when I am relaxed, i can tell jokes and be quite entertaining, but if I am walking down the road, sitting in a class, or just otherwise minding my own business, I keep a VERY serious face. It just comes natural to me.
Perhaps you look serious because you feel tense in these situations.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top