i really don't like the act of eating. there isn't much i enjoy about it. it tastes good briefly, but after a swallow my food i don't want to be reminded that i ate. i hate that there's an aftertaste (even slightly), that sometimes lingers after using mouthwash; i hate the sound of eating; i hate feeling it in my mouth after, even if its just a small crumb; i hate the smell, either before i make it, when i eat, ESPECIALLY afterwards; i hate the mess, it drives me crazy when even a small amount of food goes somewhere; i hate the feeling after i eat when i can feel it in my stomach, etc.
i feel a bit like a neurotic ***** when i complain about this. it's never ever a judgement on other people, i don't think "ew, that person is eating" and its great that people love doing it.
its just like a chore for me. i'd love if i can just take a few pills or smoke a few cigarettes in replacement of a meal (i mean, that actually have all the nutrients. my appetite doens't need to be suppressed any more). it doesn't have anything to do with anxiety either.
i feel like i might seem kind of rude to say this to anyone in person since i'm not criticizing anyone who enjoys eating at all. i tend to keep it to myself and avoid looking disgusted.