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It seems almost inconceivable for me to not struggle with Social anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and perfectionism. Maybe if i became extremely knowledgable, intelligent and witty/humorous I wouldn't have SA or feel so inadequate, but that's probably never going to happen - even if I were to make a serious effort at it. I also believe that no amount of therapy could fix me (i've been in therapy for almost a year now). I'm too stubborn about how i feel about myself and what i want to do with myself. How are things on your end?
 

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Oh yeah, I think it's safe to say this is going to be a lifelong struggle for me (oh joy). I don't believe in "getting over" SA. I think the best you can do is learn to cope with it (especially if your SA is of the severe variety).
 

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I don't see myself ever getting over SA, maybe 50% over it but never all of it.
 

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Space Cadet
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It seems almost inconceivable for me to not struggle with Social anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and perfectionism. Maybe if i became extremely knowledgable, intelligent and witty/humorous I wouldn't have SA or feel so inadequate, but that's probably never going to happen - even if I were to make a serious effort at it. I also believe that no amount of therapy could fix me (i've been in therapy for almost a year now). I'm too stubborn about how i feel about myself and what i want to do with myself. How are things on your end?
Short answer: yes.
 

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Well, I'm in my mid-thirties, struggled with it my whole life, did CBT, and don't see it going anywhere (although I still haven't tried antidepressants).

Like others have said, you just learn ways to cope with it/manage it and keep pushing yourself as much as you can but it doesn't go away. I have to say I can do more now than I used to and I am getting slightly better at not caring so much what other people think although some situations still really rattle me.
 

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You don't "get over" who you are on the most basic level. I could no more get over my SA than I could change myself into a black man or a tall, blond woman just by thinking about it hard enough. Some people aren't fundamentally like this (Even if they have many or most of the symptoms of SA). I'm not sure I'll ever figure out what makes some people with SA different but the difference is definitely there.
 

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We will always have periods of time where anxiety will be high - it is part of the human experience. If we can learn the right tools, we can handle it better.

I learned this at work with the economy the way it is. Things got really bad this year, and instead of retreating, I pressed through the issues that I faced this year. Some things did not go as well as I had liked, but most exceeded my expectations.
 

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Too School for Cool
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Yes.

I do not think it something you can truly conquer, only adapt to and deal with. I see myself struggling with this actively my entire life. Hopefully learning how to cope with it and finding strategies to work around it, but still struggling with it.
 
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I think I will have this for the rest of my life. However, I can definitely learn to cope with it and have it more on the back burner than the front. I have already made a lot of progress in CBT so I see myself making more progress.

Like some of you, I haven't had this all my life. I developed it around 11 or 12. As a kid I wasn't afraid to talk to people or be myself. I also have cerebral palsy, and I think I developed SA because kids made fun of me a lot in middle school... and I remember just a few months ago my grandma said something to me like, "When you were a kid, when you didn't know you had a disability, you were such a happy little girl.. always smiling." Hah, so what, I'm not happy now? Thanks grandma...
 

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To some extent, yes. I'm already a lot better than I used to be, but it's part of my personality that will never completely go away. In some ways that's not altogether a bad thing, as I wouldn't really be "me" without it.
 

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Positively Revolting Hag
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Yeah, probably. It doesn't bother me a whole lot either. I'm more worried about being depressed/developing an eating disorder for the rest of my life.
 

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I'll probably end up having to struggle with it for the remainder of my life. It is a fundamental element of my personality, after all. I wouldn't be the person I am without SA. However, I think I can learn to manage it and not let it effect my actions or emotions. Which I already have learned to do, to a certain extent.
 

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breaking free
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I do not believe SA has to be in your life- for your entire life. If you have the right determination and tools, you can overcome it. You just have to believe in yourself.

I used to believe that I could never overcome my SA and that I would always be this "shy, quiet, loner girl" but so much stuff has happened to me in the past 6 months. I can now say that I finally believe in myself and I hardly ever feel shy around other people anymore. All you have to do is have confidence in yourself.

I would say that overcoming SA would be a lot like going on a diet. Some people naturally struggle with their weight and others do not- just like the fact that some people are naturally outgoing and others are naturally shy. Just because you are naturally shy, however, does not mean you can't learn to be outgoing. The same is true in my weight loss metaphor. Just because you are overweight does not mean you can't learn how to make the right nutrition and exercise choices.

You become outgoing through believeing in yourself and just talking to people. The more you believe in yourself and the more interactions you have with people, the more the shyness disappears. You can make your life however you want to make it. You don't have to be stuck with anything you don't want to have in life.

If you really have trouble believing in yourself (like I used to) the book "Feeling Good:The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns will be very helpful. This book changed my life. I cannot recommend it enough times!
 

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I'm not sure, my anxiety has gotten less as time goes by and my SA along with it. There are things that still bother me too much to do like going for a walk alone but other things like going to the music store don't bother me as much as they use to and I can even talk to the cashier if I have to. So maybe there is hope for me. :stu
 
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