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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey guys,
Well, recently I've been making great strides in progress and there is something very important I am noticing. I am noticing that I am the one that is judging everyone around me, I am the one that constantly thinks about everyone else's movements and expressions.

For example, let's say I am watching an interview or something (Conan) on tv. I just focus (unintentionally, I think) on the guest and if they show any nervousness. I pay more attention to that than what they have to say and it's something that is very pervasive although now that I am becoming more and more aware of it, I know better not to do it.

It's the very same thing we do with our self. Maybe it's like karma and comes and bites us on our bum?

So, I was wondering if yall know wth I'm talkin bout...
 

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I deffinitely know what you're talking about. In fact, nothing seems to be the cause of my anxiety that I can figure out, but one of the theories that I have that may be my possible cause is that I've always been overly judgemental of others and eventually I just thought if I'm thinking this about them, they could be doing the same and became affraid of them doing the same.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Lol, you know, the more you think about it, the funnier it gets...

Now, I'm curious to know if it is a symptom of sa or the cause. Perhaps, both?
 

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you are lookign at a mirror, basically what Ive see from this is thta you proyect into others things about yourself, you can be really judgemental over someones moves or whatever this is a proyection of yourself onto others, you think people could be judging them at the same level theyre judging you, as you progrss you learn to be more acceptant of yourself and this was more acceptant of others
 

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I am becoming more aware of my judgemental ways too. Making an effort not be judegmental has been helpful. I'm finding i don't judge myself as harshly and don't feel as judged when I'm more accepting of others.
 

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yeah i do this as well. It almost feels as though my goal is to try to compare myself to others though and overanalyze everything about them in the process. Its somewhat compulsive
 

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Yeah I notice people and judge people but not in the way you're talking about, with just monitoring their nervousness and ****-I mean I do do that, watch how people react, answer a question in class or whatever, or I watch people's expressions after a teacher has said something negative...-

-but I also, judge people-but when I make that statement, I don't want you guys to take that the wrong way and see me as some snobby judgemental ***** or anything like that, because I actually consider myself pretty openminded

I might "judge" someone the way they dress(not that I dress so great either) or how they speak, or their body type or on their personality and this is something I realized in the past 6months to a year-how I have thoughts that I fear other people having regarding me-like, I always am self concious, and worried about what people think of me, when in actuality, it seems like I am the judgemental one and the popular/well-adjusted social people that intimidate me are the good ones, the ones that don't judge

The good thing is that the way I judge doesn't really have any emotion attached to it-I mean, generally, the people I judge aren't people I have anything against-it just might be a judgement like "she needs a better bra" or whatver-I don't mean anything by it other than that

So that gives me hope that when someone stares at me when I get on the bus, they're looking me up and down in the neutrally judgmental way that I'd observe someone who steps onto the bus....
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, I meant that kinda judging as well. It's just larger scale judgement, really. What I've noticed here is kinda kool though; the people that are progressing see this concept and are aware of it more and more until I guess we can catch ourselves and move away from it.

I was watching 3 Kings the other day and as the protagonist soldiers were about to invade, one of them was scared so George Clooney said, "just act confident, feelings come AFTER actions." That statement was like
"woah" to me because it is soo true. Our judgemental ways are the actions that give way to our insecure feelings so we must consciously change those actions. :D
It should be the other way around, but "that's the way it is."
 

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No, I'm so consumed with is that person looking at me. I wonder what they are thinking about me. I definately compare myself to others and pretty much think that everyone is better than me. This has gotten a little better since I try to tell myself that I'm just as worthy as being here compared to everyone else.
 

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I think I pick out things that I don't like about myself, and look for other people with those same attributes.

If someone looks too nervous, or shy, I'll immediately jump on it and tag them in my head. If I'm feeling insecure about how I look, I'll scan the room and pinpoint all the girls who look uglier or fatter than me. If someone makes the same mistake I did, such as tripping over or bumping into the same object, I'll notice it. If someone is in a situation that would make me anxious, I'll scrutinize their every movement waiting for them to trip up.

I think its sort of like a revenge. If I perceive that other people are judging me, it feels good to "Get back at them" by doing the same thing in return.
 

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I'm extremely judgmental and harshly critical of everyone, especially myself. I'll instantly label somebody and write them off as soon as I notice something that doesn't conform to my ridiculous standard of perfection. A lot of my anxiety comes from my belief that others are as judgmental and critical as I am.

Smitten - You sound like me a few years ago! What really helped is to remind myself that we're all human and we're not perfect. I still have a long way to go, but I'm less harsh on myself and I cut others a lot more slack too.

letitrock - Everyone is a judgmental *****; even the popular, well-adjusted social people. It's part of being human. The key is to stop short of thinking you're better or worse than someone based on your snap judgments. That's something I'm still working on...
 

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I judge people but I don't think it influences my SA. Plus even if I do judge people negatively at first, I try to stay open minded and accept them as they are.
 

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yes, when im watching movie for example i can think of actors being shy or sometimes i notice their hands or head shakes or gerky moves:afr
 

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Hey guys,
Well, recently I've been making great strides in progress and there is something very important I am noticing. I am noticing that I am the one that is judging everyone around me, I am the one that constantly thinks about everyone else's movements and expressions.

For example, let's say I am watching an interview or something (Conan) on tv. I just focus (unintentionally, I think) on the guest and if they show any nervousness. I pay more attention to that than what they have to say and it's something that is very pervasive although now that I am becoming more and more aware of it, I know better not to do it.

It's the very same thing we do with our self. Maybe it's like karma and comes and bites us on our bum?

So, I was wondering if yall know wth I'm talkin bout...
Yes it's a good way to look at things, I sometimes think I view everyone else as robots who's sole purpose is to respond to me and what I do. This is generally how I view the world.

Looking at it objectively however, let's say on a bus, the guy sitting in front of you may be on the way to the hospital to see his newborn child and doesn't care about you behind him. The bus driver is thinking how he's going to keep his affair secret from his wife, the old woman at the front may be worrying how he is going to pay her bills this week. The kids at the front are excited about a new computer game they are on their way to buy.

ETC ETC ETC. IE. They have things in their minds that mean they are definately not thinking about you 100% of the time, if at all.

I think CBT is a good way to actually start believing this tho.
 

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Neither Enemy Nor Friend
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i judge people just to see how they perceive how i act and if i can be compatible with them.


so much analyzing like that gets me tired though, physically & mentally
 

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By the way, I just realized that it may seem like the post I made (which is somewhere up in this thread) makes it seem like I say out loud the judgemental observations that I make-but I don't. I only make those observations in my head, never out loud, unless I mention these observations I've made about other people to like my brothers or whatver
 

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I'm not very judgmental towards other people at all. I don't often conclude that they must good/bad based on what I see. I'm pretty accepting of the people around me, they are who they are. But.. a weird issue I have is that I don't hold this type of view in relation to myself, it that makes any sense. I criticize myself a lot, and overanalyze the things I do. Working on that tho :)
 

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I have noticed my judemental frequency and am making strides in quittting. But is there anyone out there that isn't judgemental in some form? I think we are just reading to much into other people's body language.
 

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I don't know if judge is the right word. Like I notice things about other people, things that if I did I would be embarrassed for and then I feel empathy towards that person when in reality they probably could give a crap.
 
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