Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
104 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
After being on this site for a while, I'm starting to wonder if I really have social anxiety. Most people on this site have no problems once they get started talking, it's just that they have panic attacks around people and are really nervous. I'm not that way. Unless I'm approaching a large group of people, I have no fear. The problem is, I can't think of anything to say. I pretty much have a blank mind. Either that or I don't really care what the other person is saying, so I just end up nodding my head and saying "Yeah..." over and over again for the duration of our conversation (Hah, that rhymed). Then once they're gone, a million things I could have said to them will pop into my head. I can actually be pretty outgoing, but the problem is that I don't have a lot to say...

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is this social anxiety, or am I onto something else?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,700 Posts
After being on this site for a while, I'm starting to wonder if I really have social anxiety. Most people on this site have no problems once they get started talking, it's just that they have panic attacks around people and are really nervous. I'm not that way. Unless I'm approaching a large group of people, I have no fear. The problem is, I can't think of anything to say. I pretty much have a blank mind. Either that or I don't really care what the other person is saying, so I just end up nodding my head and saying "Yeah..." over and over again for the duration of our conversation (Hah, that rhymed). Then once they're gone, a million things I could have said to them will pop into my head. I can actually be pretty outgoing, but the problem is that I don't have a lot to say...

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is this social anxiety, or am I onto something else?
I think we have a similar condition and I am beginning to doubt that it is SA. I think we have another "condition" and I still don't know the term for it. Maybe "Blank Mind Syndrome" would fit it.

When I was younger, I used to feel anxious when approaching a large or small group of people especially when I have to join into the conversation that they are having but now I just don't care anymore. Its as if my anxiety has turned into apathy. The only problem is as much as I wan't to join in conversations I frequently end up having nothing to say. When im with a group of people(big or small) I find a hard time thinking of things to say to contribute to the conversation. Sometimes after the conversation has ended, that's the time where all the things that I wanted to say would pop out in my mind but this only happens rarely.

Because of this "Blank Mind Syndrome", I feel hesitant in joining in conversations and I try to avoid it as much as possible. But I really want to join in conversations because it kinda makes me feel good afterward and it feels like I have accomplished something. Too bad this "Blank Mind Syndrome" is keeping me from doing what I want to do.
 

·
sa challenger
Joined
·
5,079 Posts
I think we have a similar condition and I am beginning to doubt that it is SA. I think we have another "condition" and I still don't know the term for it. Maybe "Blank Mind Syndrome" would fit it.

When I was younger, I used to feel anxious when approaching a large or small group of people especially when I have to join into the conversation that they are having but now I just don't care anymore. Its as if my anxiety has turned into apathy. The only problem is as much as I wan't to join in conversations I frequently end up having nothing to say. When im with a group of people(big or small) I find a hard time thinking of things to say to contribute to the conversation. Sometimes after the conversation has ended, that's the time where all the things that I wanted to say would pop out in my mind but this only happens rarely.

Because of this "Blank Mind Syndrome", I feel hesitant in joining in conversations and I try to avoid it as much as possible. But I really want to join in conversations because it kinda makes me feel good afterward and it feels like I have accomplished something. Too bad this "Blank Mind Syndrome" is keeping me from doing what I want to do.
I have the same syndrome. I sometimes just sit and analyze people's words, or looks, whatever. It's like I'm watching a show instead of being on it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,013 Posts
I had to register after seeing this thread. I have had social anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, but in the past few years I have been working hard to reduce all that. Now I'm 23, and in college in my last semester (I'm still here because my depression kept me from succeeding academically). Nowadays, I have relatively little anxiety thinking about or actually jumping into social situations, but I do experience this "blank mind syndrome" you guys are talking about.

For me, I believe that this is nothing more than two things: 1.) spending most of my life shying away from social situations and therefore not being able to fully develop a solid personality, and 2.) the little anxiety I still have. Even though the anxiety is barely noticeable, it is still there, and slows my mind down just enough so that I can't think of things to say quickly in a conversation; whereas if I leave that situation I'll think of several things to say within a few seconds.

It also doesn't help that now I desperately want to socialize, but it almost seems like too little too late. I've defeated my anxiety for the most part, but I still have to work on my personality, and sometimes it gets extremely frustrating. Even though I don't have anxiety per se when approaching a girl, for example, I still don't have the confidence to do so because I don't think I'm charming enough to be of any interest to her - and why wouldn't I think that? I've spent most of my life not engaging people socially.

In the past at college on the weekends, it would suck just staying in the dorm/apartment while my friends went out just because I couldn't get over my anxiety. But now that I finally DO want to go out and have fun, most of my friends have already graduated and moved on, and I'm left here fending for myself, which is very difficult. Now on the weekends, it absolutely kills me that I'm not having fun partying or meeting girls.

At best I can have normal 1on1 conversations without too much trouble, but when it comes to kicking back and having a good time I'm just lost. I've wasted too much time being an introvert and now I'm paying the price.
 

·
Done with SA
Joined
·
1,818 Posts
It depends, with me, I think.
A lot of times, I'll get extremely anxious and giggly or anxious and quiet or anxious and teary or I'll just have a panic attack. Luckily, the latter has calmed down quite a bit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,700 Posts
I had to register after seeing this thread. I have had social anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, but in the past few years I have been working hard to reduce all that. Now I'm 23, and in college in my last semester (I'm still here because my depression kept me from succeeding academically). Nowadays, I have relatively little anxiety thinking about or actually jumping into social situations, but I do experience this "blank mind syndrome" you guys are talking about.

For me, I believe that this is nothing more than two things: 1.) spending most of my life shying away from social situations and therefore not being able to fully develop a solid personality, and 2.) the little anxiety I still have. Even though the anxiety is barely noticeable, it is still there, and slows my mind down just enough so that I can't think of things to say quickly in a conversation; whereas if I leave that situation I'll think of several things to say within a few seconds.

It also doesn't help that now I desperately want to socialize, but it almost seems like too little too late. I've defeated my anxiety for the most part, but I still have to work on my personality, and sometimes it gets extremely frustrating. Even though I don't have anxiety per se when approaching a girl, for example, I still don't have the confidence to do so because I don't think I'm charming enough to be of any interest to her - and why wouldn't I think that? I've spent most of my life not engaging people socially.

In the past at college on the weekends, it would suck just staying in the dorm/apartment while my friends went out just because I couldn't get over my anxiety. But now that I finally DO want to go out and have fun, most of my friends have already graduated and moved on, and I'm left here fending for myself, which is very difficult. Now on the weekends, it absolutely kills me that I'm not having fun partying or meeting girls.

At best I can have normal 1on1 conversations without too much trouble, but when it comes to kicking back and having a good time I'm just lost. I've wasted too much time being an introvert and now I'm paying the price.
DUDE! Everything you have just said applies to me. I wonder if there is something we can do to build up our personality in order to be quick in conversations. I completely agree on what you have said and I also think that this is the main root of our problem - "1.) spending most of my life shying away from social situations and therefore not being able to fully develop a solid personality"

If only we can find some way to reverse this. I believe that ignorance is a significant factor that causes the blank mind syndrome. There are times wherein I feel optimistic that I can improve my personality in order to be fluid in conversations and ease out in social situations.

So far these are my ideas:
1) Listen and take down what other people are usually talking about that you usually could not relate to. (this is the most important step, you must know what other people are into)

2) Spend 1 whole week (depends on how much free time you have) in educating your self about the things they usually talk about. (The internet is a useful tool for this)

3) For example, day 1 can spent in educating yourself with sports (basketball, soccer etc.). Day 2 can be spent with music especially what other people around you are into. Day 3 can be spent with social stuff (what to do in a party, how to tell awsome jokes etc.)

4) Now you need to find someone you can talk to in order to practice having conversations. During your practice, you need to concentrate and focus more. Its important that you need to be very spontaneous in everything that you say. During conversations you need to train yourself to think about 3x faster than normal so that the conversations stays fluid and you could avoid those awkward silence moments.

These ideas of mine are easier said than done. Im going to do this some time later and I hope it works. I think this only applies to people like us who are less anxious in social situations but have the "Blank Mind Syndrome".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,792 Posts
I can relate to the "Blank mind syndrome" thing. In conversations (even on Internet chat or on skype) i often just don't know what to say, when to talk, etc. It is a real blank in my mind. As the conversation advances, it worsen cause i'll put pressure on myself, telling to myself that I have to talk and participate, but it just get my mind even blanker. So I just sit there and say nothing and I look really dumb.

Also, it doesn't help that i'm not very knowledgeable in "generic" conversation topics (cinema, music, sports other than hockey) and i'm not comfortable in the more controversial ones (politics, religions, etc.) And on the top of that, i have problems focusing on conversations, my self-esteem is rather low and I can be a real mister negative sometimes.

I'm pretty sure I never had any real panic attack. I feel very anxious in social situation, i sometimes even try to avoid crossing people i know just cause i'm afraid to engage a conversation and end up having nothing to say and end up looking like a fool, but it's never to the point i get to have a panic attack.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,700 Posts
I can relate to the "Blank mind syndrome" thing. In conversations (even on Internet chat or on skype) i often just don't know what to say, when to talk, etc. It is a real blank in my mind. As the conversation advances, it worsen cause i'll put pressure on myself, telling to myself that I have to talk and participate, but it just get my mind even blanker. So I just sit there and say nothing and I look really dumb.

Also, it doesn't help that i'm not very knowledgeable in "generic" conversation topics (cinema, music, sports other than hockey) and i'm not comfortable in the more controversial ones (politics, religions, etc.) And on the top of that, i have problems focusing on conversations, my self-esteem is rather low and I can be a real mister negative sometimes.

I'm pretty sure I never had any real panic attack. I feel very anxious in social situation, i sometimes even try to avoid crossing people i know just cause i'm afraid to engage a conversation and end up having nothing to say and end up looking like a fool, but it's never to the point i get to have a panic attack.
Yeah, sometimes this has a rebound effect. Im not naturally anxious when approaching people but sometimes I get anxious when I meet people cause I worry that I might have nothing to say when we engage in a conversation. I never get panic attacks, just some mild nervousness.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,672 Posts
I have the problem of not knowing what to say in conversation and i feel anxious because i imagine people thinking badly of me because of it.

I guess i am a strong silent type but it turns to anxiety when i see people getting uncomfortable in my company.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
I know I have panic attacks and social anxiety. I've been diagnosed by more than one doctor with this. I have avoidant personality disorder which is like an extreme form of social anxiety. I think panic attacks can often accompany social anxiety. I think it all stems from a lack of self-esteem.

My panic attacks make it hard or sometimes impossible to sit in an area where there are large groups of people for a long time, like a class, a concert, or working around a lot of people. I used to have trouble just making it through the day at work. I seemed to have gotten over that and now I can work through the day with a relative amount of ease, although I still have trouble thinking of things to say to people and just mostly keep to myself, mostly just talking to my cubicle mate.

Also, being a passenger in a car, when I'm not driving is a source of panic attacks for me. It seems to involve a lack of control or the fear of being embarassed in front of others. If I'm alone I'm generally fine. Or if I'm driving a car I know I'm in control and I can control where we go if I start to feel anxious. Whenever I go anywhere I always drive.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
194 Posts
It's the same with me, not a whole lot of anxiety, just not knowing what to say. I want to go out and meet new people but I'm just not good at it I guess. I also think I've gotten comfortable not saying anything while in a group. So I just don't even try to get in on the conversation now. So now when I'm with a group I always try to really think about what I can say.
 

·
Meow Meow Meow
Joined
·
141 Posts
I have panic attacks. It's a little bit worse in small groups because it's much more intimate and I'm afraid someone might notice the strain on my face. Not to mention the uncontrollable trembling while having difficulty breathing and comment on that. In a bigger setting you can sort of blend in sometimes and no one will notice you breaking down. Big crowds I can't handle if I'm alone.


I don't know if these panic attacks are really caused by SA anymore or if its the PD triggering the SA. Sometimes I wonder if I really have SA or is it just the Agoraphobia and insecurity? I don't have problems talking to people. I don't really know what to say sometimes, but I don't think that is what makes me as nervous as I get. What I wrote is now confusing me.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
177,223 Posts
After being on this site for a while, I'm starting to wonder if I really have social anxiety. Most people on this site have no problems once they get started talking, it's just that they have panic attacks around people and are really nervous. I'm not that way. Unless I'm approaching a large group of people, I have no fear. The problem is, I can't think of anything to say. I pretty much have a blank mind. Either that or I don't really care what the other person is saying, so I just end up nodding my head and saying "Yeah..." over and over again for the duration of our conversation (Hah, that rhymed). Then once they're gone, a million things I could have said to them will pop into my head. I can actually be pretty outgoing, but the problem is that I don't have a lot to say...

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is this social anxiety, or am I onto something else?
That's pretty much the way I've always been until I got anxiety and SA. I'm starting to get back to this point again though, I'm rarely very anxious around people anymore I just don't have a lot to say.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
103 Posts
I don't suffer from panic attacks but I can get extremely nervous in certain situations where I want to or feel like I need to impress or show the positive qualities (if any) about myself. I think my SA rears its ugly head mainly in situations where I feel pressured to have conversation, esp. when I'm stuck with someone for a long period of time (i.e. in line, in a long car ride, during a meal). But, as long as I feel I have something to comment or give my opinion about, my SA usually takes a backseat, whether it's one-on-one or in a group. I do find it easier in groups of at least three since I don't feel as pressured to speak as often as I feel expected to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
a parent trying to help son

My son has social anxity disorder, he has delt with it pretty good , until he moved out for the first time ,He is 19 yrs old ended up renting a house was going to get room mates but didn't. had a panic attact at work never went back, so he isolated himself for about 3 months, I his mother, I was his only person he would talk to i did everything grocery shop, ect he's cute proffessional skier but thing are extremly worse he just moved home and goes no were I talk to him about it and some days he wants help but ather day he just says i dont know what im taking a bout he need help what can i do
he always has a stomache ache tiered refuses discusing medication
shy has a hard time expresing him self but in the winter skies proffessional dayly but it has stopped his life help the only time e sees his freinds is
if they come over they stopped asking him to do anything cause he wont
it so sad cause he has so much going for himself he has ski videos friends family that will do anything to se him get help to feel good in his skin

help
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
769 Posts
After being on this site for a while, I'm starting to wonder if I really have social anxiety. Most people on this site have no problems once they get started talking, it's just that they have panic attacks around people and are really nervous. I'm not that way. Unless I'm approaching a large group of people, I have no fear. The problem is, I can't think of anything to say. I pretty much have a blank mind. Either that or I don't really care what the other person is saying, so I just end up nodding my head and saying "Yeah..." over and over again for the duration of our conversation (Hah, that rhymed). Then once they're gone, a million things I could have said to them will pop into my head. I can actually be pretty outgoing, but the problem is that I don't have a lot to say...

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is this social anxiety, or am I onto something else?
I think social anxiety comes in different forms and its different for everyone. Exactly what you just described is how it is for me. I have had 1 panic attack but it wasent during a social situation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
449 Posts
Im the same way, just not a good talker. Also, i seem to be stuck in this mode that i need a specific reason to talk to someone. Like i need to know something specific, need them to do something, getting back to them about something. I cant really do random idle chit chat, I sorta can if i see it coming or see an opportunity for it, but i need time to think.

Then, i get stuck in this...i dunno rut of thinking....that once people see or know im not much of a talker, i must remain that way and cant break the mold. If i do, people notice and see it as im changing, but i dont want to be viewed in that way so i go back to my old self. I cant exactly rationalize what and why im doing that, but its something of ive done alot in my past. its weird.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top