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Do you have a secret that you feel contributes to your SA?

  • Yes

    Votes: 34 85.0%
  • No

    Votes: 6 15.0%
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Discussion Starter #1
Whether it's conscious or not, do you all have any secrets that you want to hide from the people you meet?

I imagine people having secrets like.. peculiar interests/hobbies, sexual orientation, disabilities, etc.

I have a secret. It pertains to sexual orientation, and it causes ALL kinds of problems. Hands down, it is probably at least 90% of the reason for my SA today.

Sexual orientation was why I was bullied in school (-self-esteem,-self-confidence). It's why I couldn't pursue any relationships growing up (-experience). It's why I can't pursue any relationships now (-self-esteem,-experience). It's why I'm uncomfortable and unable to answer most personal questions, and why I fear conversation leading to a confrontation about it (-self-esteem).

SO.. It has everything to do with the specific AND the general (low self-esteem/-confidence and lack of experience).

Do any of you have secrets that you feel are or have been major contributors to your SA?
 

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Is there anybody on SAS who gives out more personal information than I do?
 

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I pretty much spill my guts.Things I just don't need to reveal about myself.I didn,t think it was a problem until I met my man who says that I should keep a certain mystique about myself.I like the sound of that.I don't trust people,but I want to trust people so I am an open book.
 

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I just realized something!I think I do have a secret that might be a factor for my SA.It might even be another disorder.I don't think its a symtom of this disorder.Maybe its just being human.I don't know,Well I tried to tell you but ended up clearing it out.I don't know how to talk about it.I think i'm a bad person for it.
 

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There are probably one or two things that I haven't mentioned on this site which causes some sa, and this is the site where I reveled most about myself, so in the real world I usually don't mention that much.
 

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Is there anybody on SAS who gives out more personal information than I do?
:lol I'm also a member of the Post Secret Community and you would be surprised the information those people know about me and my life.
Hell, my phone number is even open to everyone on there.
Sigh. Sometimes my trust in other people surprises me.

But yes, there are many secrets I have that contribute to my SA. I think a good chunk of them are physical and due to medical complications, and since I feel disgusting because of them, it makes me not want to be around other people in fear they'll think the same thing.
 

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I never tell anyone I know how ugly I feel. Also i've not told anyone for nine years outside of my family that I have a university degree, as I have never used it to get a job and so have become embarrassed by it; except I have recently told one person at work who I really get on with and trust not to tell anyone else.
 

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Yes, but it doesn't contribute to the SA because it's a secret. It contributes to the SA because it just does.

And I'm not sure if it's a "secret" or if it's just not something no one has ever asked about. If someone were to ask about it, I'm not sure how I'd respond. Truthfully, I'd probably lie though.

Have a nice day,
Kelly :)
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Is there anybody on SAS who gives out more personal information than I do?
Well, do you have SA on SAS? :p How much do you frequently reveal to random people you meet?
I pretty much spill my guts.Things I just don't need to reveal about myself.I didn,t think it was a problem until I met my man who says that I should keep a certain mystique about myself.I like the sound of that.I don't trust people,but I want to trust people so I am an open book.
A little mystique, huh? See, I think I'd prefer someone completely open :).
I just realized something!I think I do have a secret that might be a factor for my SA.It might even be another disorder.I don't think its a symtom of this disorder.Maybe its just being human.I don't know,Well I tried to tell you but ended up clearing it out.I don't know how to talk about it.I think i'm a bad person for it.
You've got me all curious now.. You could always send it in a PM, if you want. I'd like to know.. But don't do it expecting to hear my secrets or anything..
Yes, but don't we all?
For me, personally, it's important for me to feel normal, like anyone else in the same situation as me couldn't be expected to behave any differently or perform any better. If I was considered normal by the dominant culture and didn't have to keep a secret and pretend to be somebody I'm not, I don't think I'd have the same problems with SA.. "We" all might have to keep secrets, but we all have SA, too.
 

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I feel like my true personality is a big secret.
All what I want to be and what I want to show people and achieve is hidden inside me and I'm terrifed for anyone to see it because I am so ashamed. And that shame is yet another secret.
So, not really secrets in a conventional sense. Except for all those chopped up bodies buried in the garden... KIDDING!
 

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For me, personally, it's important for me to feel normal, like anyone else in the same situation as me couldn't be expected to behave any differently or perform any better. If I was considered normal by the dominant culture and didn't have to keep a secret and pretend to be somebody I'm not, I don't think I'd have the same problems with SA.. "We" all might have to keep secrets, but we all have SA, too.
Yeah, I never really feel that way I guess. I can see how it would affect some people more than others. I don't think my issue is really tied in anyway to my SA. They really developed apart from one another, at least in my case. If I could rid myself of the secret I have to keep, it probably won't fix my SA issues. I guess it's going to be situational.
 

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I guess the biggest secret is that I'm bisexual. When I was growing up I was raised to believe that it was wrong to be gay or even bisexual. My parents are against gay rights, believing it is a horrible sin. I remember being so confused and ashamed of my sexuality. I could never summon up the courage to tell anyone. I finally accepted myself and my sexuality, but I'm still hiding my true self with my family. :no
 
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