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The Lonely Cowboy
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not talking about absent or abusive fathers (although you can vent about that if you like). I'm talking about fathers who are in your life and care about you, but never really taught you how to be a man.

I'm a 17 year-old who recently switched his crappy electric razor for a real razor. I had to search YouTube to learn how to use a razor and apply shaving cream and stuff. It occurred to me that my dad never taught me this.

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and I had to check YouTube to learn how to tie a tie.

My dad never taught me how to throw a football or teach me how to fish. Maybe it's because I never showed interest in these things, or maybe my dad's dad never showed him how to do this things either, so he never thought to teach me.

I love my dad and he loves me but I just feel like he never went out of his way to teach me things. My mom also made a comment at dinner about how I get my non-outgoingness from him. I think it made us both feel like losers.
 

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My dad tried to teach me "manly" stuff like throwing footballs and catching baseballs and going fishing - he wanted to teach me that crap dearly - but I had no interest. He loves me lots, but sometimes I get the feeling he wishes I turned out differently.

I can't tie a tie, either. I don't think I've ever worn a tie.
 

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My dad couldnt teach me anything from behind bars. He got put in prison for manslaughter. Killed 4 people in a head on collision while he drove drunk.
 

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The Lonely Cowboy
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I never showed interest in sports or outdoor stuff either, but I wish he tried to get me into it. :/
 

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My dad never taught me how to shave either, We've never gone fishing either.

I only have 1 memory of us playing sports, just kicking a ball together in the park, which was fun.

I can't really blame him or anything though, as he's almost always at work to support our (large) family.
 

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My dad has never given me attention when I was seeking it. Many times when I would ask him a question he would just completely not answer like he didn't even hear me... and I would ask again, and then again, and still nothing. We figured out though that he has severe ADD (but he won't admit because he has the hyperfocus ability, which is what has gotten him everything he has). I have no doubt that he is the cause of all my problems. I know it's easy to blame others but it's true. A parents role is SO important in a child's development.
 

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Herp Derp
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yeah, my dad never really did THAT much with me/taught me much

I basically learned how to shave on my own. We never went fishing or anything like that, and neither he nor my mom have any athletic ability but I was born with it and love sports, so I never really played sports. Also had to learn to tie my own tie. Never had the sex talk either.
 

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Nowhere Man
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My dad never taught me anything useful. I suffer from epilepsy so i could never do sports.
He was away when i learned to shave with a razor and he never taught me how to change a freakin' light bulb.
Never taught me anything really, he over protected me due to many things. Guess he was trying to be a good aprent after all, even if he made lots of mistakes. He was my "dad", not my "father".
 

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I had a very similar relationship with my dad. Never taught me anything, but he always seemed frustrated when I didn't do things his way. It seemed like he only paid attention to me when I did something wrong. Come think of it, I can't really recall one thing I've learned from him.
 

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I have always had a complicated relationship with my dad, yeah he is a loving parent but me and my sister have always been alittle afraid of him, not because he hit us or anything but he has this presence that if you cross him, you're on his sh*t list for a long time, i know that from experience. I am grateful that my dad taught me to drive, passed down his love of sports to me and he taught me how to manage money and helped me open a bank account, i feel like i let him down sometimes because i am not dating or i am home most weekends because i don't have any true friends, he says he is proud of me and says i have matured alot but i can still tell my dad is hurt that i am not living life because of my anxiety and depression.
 

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I haven't seen my dad since I was 5.
But my mother teaches me crap. I had to learn how to dress and behave from the negative reactions of my school peers- embarrassing stuff, too, like hygiene things. I still don't have a lot of things down. I love her, but she's not the brightest crayon in the box.
 

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My dad never taught me how to be a man either. And my mom never taught me how to be a woman.

I know that manhood is a really big deal in our culture, and I don't fully understand what it's like to be in your situation since I was never a boy. But I wonder if it's really so bad that your dad failed to adorn you with the trappings of manliness and, instead, left you to figure things out on your own. Assuming he taught you other important life lessons (like how to be a moral person), I think it could be a sign of good parenting.

By the way, my dad taught me how to fish, and I wish he hadn't. I'm a vegetarian. He also tried to show me how to throw a football, but I never really mastered that skill. I managed shaving armpits/legs on my own, but I really wish one of my parents had taught me how to use a tampon when I first got my period. That probably doesn't fit into this discussion though.
 

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Absolutely yeah. I always lived with my dad until a few years ago, and he NEVER taught me a single thing. When me and my brother were kids my dad never did anything with us, never took as anywhere, never showed us how to do anything, never give us any guidance......nothing at all. He would go straight from work to the pub until closing time 6 days a week, then on Sundays he would just go to the pub all day. He left our upbringing entirely up to my mother. He also never showed us any love or affection either, he just used threatening behaviour towards us if we were ever naughty. We were very afraid of him.

To me, he wasnt even like a dad. He was just the guy that paid the bills and nothing more. And now he has got the nerve to be frustrated at the way i turned out and the fact that we have no relationship? What an ****ing idiot. I cant wait for the day when i finally tell him how i feel about this ****. No wonder i dont ever want to have kids.
 

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Penguin
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Neither of my parents taught me anything really, least of all my father seeing as how he left when I was 9 and for all I know he died the next day since I never saw him again.

People mention shaving - I never found there much to learn about this, and packs of disposable razors tend to have instructions and diagrams anyhow. I hear rumours there is some special skillful way of shaving whereby you avoid cutting yourself, but since razor cuts are so small they heal within a day I don't see the problem.

And tieing a tie I learned from school, me being from the UK where we have uniforms.

Pretty much everything I hear people's parents are supposed to teach them I either learned by trial and error (e.g. cooking), reading up on stuff, the internet (like how train and bus timetables work), or school (at least they taught us how to wire a plug in physics...****ed if i can remember what goes where though). My driving instructor also told me the bare minimum about the inner workings of a car required to pass my test. Don't really remember any of that though either.
 

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My dad was always critical and down on everything I was into or did growing up. I got straight A's and won science fair but my dad put that down because "science is anti-God" and he would rather me have played football. He was constantly putting down my self-esteem to the point where I still to this day doubt I have what it takes to make it in life. When I was in my early teens, I had a dream of owning a software company. I had the plans in my head, but everytime I would mention it, my dad was like "quit talking and thinking about that, you'll never make it!".

Lets just say now I work a dead end job with little hope of success.
 

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Born Of Blotmonað
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My dad was away working a lot as I grew up so I didn't learn too much from him. He taught me how to ride a bike & to always ask a woman's opinion when buy new clothes.

With shaving it was my bro who gave me my first electric razor but he didn't show me anything I just figured it out. I have no idea how to shave with disposable razors & shaving cream & no desire to learn.

I too don't know how to tie a tie but hopefully one day I'll learn.
 

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My mom never really taught me about girl stuff either..
I had my period for like half a year before I told my mom about it..
Talking about guys usually consisted of her practically crying and telling me that anything nice that any man did was just a ploy to get in my pants.
I always felt like if I dressed or acted in a "girly" way, that she would look down on me for conforming or think I was promiscuous or somthing.. I remember going to a birthday party in Kindergarten, and the girl's older sister started putting make-up on us, just for fun, and I cried and refused because I didn't think my mom would like it.
During my teen years I barely wore makeup and dressed pretty mannish; I thought I was so ugly..
Then youtube came out and I started looking at makeup & grooming tutorials and I'm actually decent looking now, I think, but I wish I had known it was possible when I was a kid..
 
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