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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am totally fine with email interactions. Am a little bit anxious with messaging. A little more anxious over the phone. Even more anxious on a video call. And most anxious in personal, face-to-face interaction. How about you?
 

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Some emails bother me, but most don't, depending on context... the ability to compose and not see the reply until I want to helps. Face to face often makes me anxious. Phone and video calls are the worst and lead me to put off vital appointments for years, I'd much rather talk in person.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Some emails bother me, but most don't, depending on context... the ability to compose and not see the reply until I want to helps. Face to face often makes me anxious. Phone and video calls are the worst and lead me to put off vital appointments for years, I'd much rather talk in person.
That's interesting. Because, in face-to-face interactions the other person is physically present. Hence, I can see his/her reactions, facial expressions, etc. about me, which makes it more difficult for me and creates more self-consciousness and anxiety. The possibility of observing the other person observing and judging me is more. In video calls, phone, chat and emails that possibility is less and less so in that order.
 

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For me, there's anxiety to every interaction, but a million variables go into each one, so the level is always different. How many people? Do I know them? How, and how well, and for how long? And finally, how I'm feeling that day. Email and text are pretty easy. I don't like the phone too much, but I'd rather talk briefly to a stranger on the phone than in person.
 

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That's interesting. Because, in face-to-face interactions the other person is physically present. Hence, I can see his/her reactions, facial expressions, etc. about me, which makes it more difficult for me and creates more self-consciousness and anxiety.
That's what makes in person easier for me: I can understand people in person, and they can understand me. In a phone call there are too many unknowns and we guess at what each other meant and play a game of who's willing to keep asking for clarification the most times before feeling stupid about it and giving up. They can't read my context and I can't read theirs so even the understood words get misinterpreted. Unknowns and miscommunications scare me a lot more than judgement.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 · (Edited)
That's what makes in person easier for me: I can understand people in person, and they can understand me. In a phone call there are too many unknowns and we guess at what each other meant and play a game of who's willing to keep asking for clarification the most times before feeling stupid about it and giving up. They can't read my context and I can't read theirs so even the understood words get misinterpreted. Unknowns and miscommunications scare me a lot more than judgement.
Ok! That's definitely a different perspective to mine. Interesting though. Interesting how the same issue can take different forms.

In my case, it is not that I don't hate miscommunications. I do. But it doesn't really make me scared. At the most, it will frustrate me but not anxious. It is this judgement part in any human interaction that makes me anxious - whatever the way of interaction. And it is so automatic. It's not that I am consciously thinking about what the other person is thinking about me and all. But it simply is the underlying feeling in all my interactions with others.

To me, email is more impersonal (idk if that's the right word) and there is a little more gap in between my 'action' and their 'reaction'. That is a little more relieving. In a chat, although it too is quite impersonal (or indirect? idk), the time gap between response is less. That is a bit scarier. On the phone, although the other person cannot see me, my expressions, anxiety, symptoms, etc. still there is a possibility of judgement based on my voice. So that is a little more scary.

On a video call, obviously the other person can see most everything and hence the possibility of judging is high which makes me more anxious. But even then, there is a physical distance. And the possibility to simply end the call (escape, flight, avoidance) is more easily available.

However, in the case of a face-to-face interaction, you are right there in the presence of 'the judgementor' 😀. You have no way to hide or no time to change or disguise your reactions or expressions. Everything is direct, then and there. It is a live audience performance! The other person is there to see through me and see all (at least in my perception). And that's what is the hell of a situation for me. And if there are more than one person, it is worse. I won't even talk about a group or crowd! 😲
 

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Some online stuff bothers me. Like instant messaging and chat. Hate that crap. It's because when someone says something to me that puts me on the spot my mind usually goes blank. I have to have time to think about what to say or I'll just make a fool out of myself every time.
 

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Regardless of the interaction, everything seems to make me feel anxious. I do prefer like text messages or e-mail, because I can see my words and make edits to them as needed to say it in the best possible way. I think the anxiety comes after I've sent it because it's in the other person(s) hands now and if they judge and misinterpret what I've said or if I missed a mistake I can't change it. But in phone calls and face-to-face my thoughts run by so fast that I just say the first thing that comes to mind, I can't make edits if I say the wrong thing. Face-to-face is variable, because if I'm close to them my anxiety seems to lessen because they know me and they know that sometimes I don't always word something the right way. But if I don't know them, I'm really nervous about how I word things and how things may come across.
 

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Mostly OK with emails, though I'm never sure if I messed something up ofmr the etiquette. Video calls I'm kinda OK with for the most part.

Phone calls and face to face are the ones I like the least. Probably phone calls as I struggle to know what to say, can't read the body language of the other person and get savage anxiety.
 

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I feel very good messaging or email. I feel anxious on the phone or in real life. Never did videocall and since I never had that experience I seem to dread that a lot. So i hope I never have to do that.
I have to make a small extra note, that I feel better fave to face than in group. If my focus is only on one other person it is more manageable than having to think about an entire group. I imagine I can make a semi good impression one on one but more than one is tough, prying eyes etc
 
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