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Starlight and moonbeams
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't.

At this point, it's laughable. I have no experience, and even if I did, I'm so introverted that I wouldn't be able to share my life with anyone.

I even have trouble with friendships, although those are easier because I am not expected to "jump through hoops". However, it still is painful, knowing that I'll never experience something that everyone else takes for granted.

Can anyone relate?
 

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Don't say never about anything.

There will be a girl out there for you, I am not saying it is easy though but don't give up. If you don't believe you will ever find a girlfriend, it will just make you feel bad and will reduce your chances further. Try and look at the positives of being single and there are positive. Of course you want to experience having a girlfriend though, I do too, but don't look at the negative belief that you will never get one. I don't think you can say never about anything and also, I think you have much better chance than you think you have.

I can relate as I am in a similar position but I have come to accept for the moment that it is better not to have a girlfriend until I finish college in a few months. It is hard to imagine myself with a girl though as I have never had a friend who is a girl let alone anything more. I still believe one day that I might get lucky in that sense and I hope I do. I hope you do too. :)
 

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Starlight and moonbeams
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah, but it's hard when you start pushing 30, and you still haven't experienced a first kiss.

You start wondering, "is it my looks? Is it my personality? How can I change to attract women? Should I cut my hair? Should I grow a beard? Should I get my butt in the gym and start working out like crazy?"

It also doesn't help that most women just don't get me. I am not a typical guy; I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I don't drive, I don't do illegal stuff, I believe in being moral, I read and listen to music for entertainment, I hate sports. Etc.

If I could meet a girl who I found even remotely attractive, who shared all of my interests and we had a connection, then I'd be a happy man. But it seems like I need to be someone I'm not, because the "current me" is not attractive to women.
 

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Yeah, but it's hard when you start pushing 30, and you still haven't experienced a first kiss.

You start wondering, "is it my looks? Is it my personality? How can I change to attract women? Should I cut my hair? Should I grow a beard? Should I get my butt in the gym and start working out like crazy?"

It also doesn't help that most women just don't get me. I am not a typical guy; I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I don't drive, I don't do illegal stuff, I believe in being moral, I read and listen to music for entertainment, I hate sports. Etc.

If I could meet a girl who I found even remotely attractive, who shared all of my interests and we had a connection, then I'd be a happy man. But it seems like I need to be someone I'm not, because the "current me" is not attractive to women.
I disagree with that. You shouldn't and don't have to change to be attractive to women. Going on what you said about yourself, many women would prefer your personality to other guys, I guarantee it. Actually there is probably one thing that would help to change but it is not easy to do. Believe in yourself more. You seem to not believe in yourself and it is important to do that. You need to accept yourself for who you are and girls will too. Of course I need to do that too and I know how hard it is.

Out of the things you listed about yourself too, I am quite similar except I prefer sport to music (don't play it sport though as I am too shy) and I do drink sometimes.

There is no point dwelling on not having a girlfriend though as that is only making you feel worse. Have you ever being rejected by a girl?
 

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Don't give up hope. Are you confident in yourself and happy with how you look and how you spend your days? If so, I'm sure there's a woman out there who would go for that. It's not all about looks anyway in relationships. Inexperience doesn't mean s***, Weight doesn't mean s*** - to some people ( aka ones thats matter )
 

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I don't.

At this point, it's laughable. I have no experience, and even if I did, I'm so introverted that I wouldn't be able to share my life with anyone.

I even have trouble with friendships, although those are easier because I am not expected to "jump through hoops". However, it still is painful, knowing that I'll never experience something that everyone else takes for granted.

Can anyone relate?
Yes except I was never saddened by it until relatively recently. I don't want a girlfriend.
 

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At this point, it's laughable. I have no experience, and even if I did, I'm so introverted that I wouldn't be able to share my life with anyone.

No experience in what? Why would you need experience? You know who you are (or can discover that) and you know (or can discover) what you want in life and from a girl. So you can do that and then move towards finding those things in a girl.

I even have trouble with friendships, although those are easier because I am not expected to "jump through hoops". However, it still is painful, knowing that I'll never experience something that everyone else takes for granted.

Can anyone relate?


For a start, not everyone takes it foregranted. Relationships are tough for lots of people in the world. Hence the problem pages. It is not painful that you'll never experience it because the story is not over yet. You have a heartbeat. Things change. I didn't think I would get a girlfriend ever when I was 16. And a year later, I'd had two.

We never know what's gonna happen. If you feel this is about confidence, self esteem, anxiety to do with dating etc, I'd be glad to try and help if I can. PM if that sounds like something you're interested in.

Because you don't need to change to be attractive. You are attractive. But the belief systems holding you back are literally doing just that, holding you back.
 

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Probably not. I am always too clingy or else I will just push people away because of my fear of rejection. I feel like I never give people a chance to really know me and they get the impression I am untinterested or just a cold emotionless person.
 

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Nowhere Man
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Honestly? Yes. About three times in the last year I could have had a chance at developing a relationship with about three different girls. Actually - four, but one of them was kind of a crazy situation. Problem? I didn't really like them. Now, you can call me picky and fussy, but what's the point if I'm not interested? I don't really have much experience in flirting or dating because I don't see the point unless I'm fully interested in the girl. This is a different mindset to guys from my social group, who chase after any girl with a pulse. If you guys think I have high expectations, feel free to let me know; I'm starting to find it slightly strange how rarely I have deep interests in girls. Then again, it could just be the social environment I'm in. "FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT" "GET IN THERE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN" Um...no thanks -_-
 

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Legendary
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Hey, don't feel bad about being inexperienced. Personally, I'd rather date a guy who hasn't been with many women than a guy who could fill a book with the names of his former flings. :]
 

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hopefully yes
 

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Not in the near future.

I just want to meet one woman who honest to god single, not attached, not committed in anyway. Maybe I been single for so long and it's a defensive mechanism, but dating these days seems just utterly more confusing than it was just a couple years ago. With Valentines coming up, I just feel more frustrated than ever, knowing frustration wouldn't help the cause.

I just wish I knew what to do. I feel useless.
 
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