[sonic431]

I felt that way for a few seconds once. I was having some kind of weird dream and woke up abruptly, when I tried walking away it felt like I was still in a dream.

 

[whiplash1995]

What you just described sounds exactly how I feel. Like I'm not even a real person, when I look back on my life experiences it's like that person who experienced that is not even me if this makes any sense. I've been diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder...

 

[steph22]

yes sometimes i've had anxiety so bad, i feel dissociated with my body. like im not in it or sometimes. could be some personality disorder as well as others have said ^^ :/

 

[MaePa]

I wouldn't say I don't get the feeling of not feeling like a person. However, if there's a lull in whatever I'm currently doing or I get exhausted mentally from it, I'll zone out sometimes to the point I don't feel present. It feels more like I'm watching the event and seeing myself from outside of my body. I guess it's like what astral projection would be like, I don't know. It's more of a feeling like the task I'm doing or the event I'm witnessing doesn't feel real, instead of feeling like I'm not real.

 

[crimeclub]

.

Good to see you back Lisbeth!

 

[lisbeth]

Good to see you back Lisbeth!

Thanks for the welcome! I don't think I'm gonna be back for long because I find the forum really negative, but I wanted to log in and see how everyone was getting on.

 

[Wings of Amnesty]

Apparently people have still been finding/reading this thread judging by these more recent replies, so little update if anyone's interested-

I recently got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and from a bit of googling, I've found out that apparently dissociation and this feeling of emptiness/unreality are really common traits in BPD. Which I think some other people in this thread have mentioned too. It explains a lot, because this pervasive feeling of being unreal has always seemed so bizarre and inexplicable to me before.

I see you said recent so maybe too early to ask but now that you're diagnosed what type of treatment are you getting for that and is it helping? Any non-drug treatment that they want you to do?

 

[lisbeth]

I see you said recent so maybe too early to ask but now that you're diagnosed what type of treatment are you getting for that and is it helping? Any non-drug treatment that they want you to do?

It was only back in July, so still too early really. I've been prescribed medication and I'm on the waiting list to see a psychologist of some kind, but I'm not clear on what that will involve. All of this is on the NHS.

The medication I've been prescribed is paroxetine (Seroxat) plus a mood stabiliser called olanzapine. I haven't been taking the olanzapine because it just makes me go to sleep... maybe it'd help, but I can't tolerate the drowsiness.

The paroxetine is fine. It's got more positive effect on my depression and social anxiety than the drug I was taking before, venlafaxine. Venlafaxine helped the depression some but killed my appetite and made my weight drop down to about 85lbs, so obviously I had to stop taking it.

I bought a book about dialectical behaviour therapy a while ago so I figure I might try some of that stuff by myself.

 

[crimeclub]

Thanks for the welcome! I don't think I'm gonna be back for long because I find the forum really negative, but I wanted to log in and see how everyone was getting on.

I don't blame you, also I think a number of the female users you used to pal around with have also left the site, bummer.

 

[lisbeth]

I don't blame you, also I think a number of the female users you used to pal around with have also left the site, bummer.

It wasn't the same without me, obv.

 

[Wings of Amnesty]

It was only back in July, so still too early really. I've been prescribed medication and I'm on the waiting list to see a psychologist of some kind, but I'm not clear on what that will involve. All of this is on the NHS.

The medication I've been prescribed is paroxetine (Seroxat) plus a mood stabiliser called olanzapine. I haven't been taking the olanzapine because it just makes me go to sleep... maybe it'd help, but I can't tolerate the drowsiness.

The paroxetine is fine. It's got more positive effect on my depression and social anxiety than the drug I was taking before, venlafaxine. Venlafaxine helped the depression some but killed my appetite and made my weight drop down to about 85lbs, so obviously I had to stop taking it.

I bought a book about dialectical behaviour therapy a while ago so I figure I might try some of that stuff by myself.

Oh okay. I have disassociation, and I struggle with reconciling my internal world and internal identity with my external/physical presence in the world. I don't think I have a personality disorder though. It's a bad feeling, but it's manageable and doesn't prevent me from living my life, so I won't risk making other things worse by taking drugs for it, but I should try doing something at least to learn to feel more grounded in my body. I'm always downloading selfhelp books and never reading them Diet books too.

 

[lisbeth]

Oh okay. I have disassociation, and I struggle with reconciling my internal world and internal identity with my external/physical presence in the world. I don't think I have a personality disorder though. It's a bad feeling, but it's manageable and doesn't prevent me from living my life, so I won't risk making other things worse by taking drugs for it, but I should try doing something at least to learn to feel more grounded in my body. I'm always downloading selfhelp books and never reading them Diet books too.

Hope you can manage to find something. Dissociation is really distressing, so hopefully there'll be a way through it for you. I'm not sure if there even are any medications that help with it specifically, and the side effects aren't worth it if it's not having a massive impact on your life.

I think there are guides online for coping with dissociation, but I don't have the link to any unfortunately.

 

[sad vlad]

I recently got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and from a bit of googling, I've found out that apparently dissociation and this feeling of emptiness/unreality are really common traits in BPD. Which I think some other people in this thread have mentioned too. It explains a lot, because this pervasive feeling of being unreal has always seemed so bizarre and inexplicable to me before.

Can't say that I'm surprised. Anyway, glad to hear you finally have a diagnose and can start working on it. The biggest problem in dealing with your main issue, Borderline, is to stay focused on taking the treatment(threrapy and or meds). If you manage to keep up the good work things should get better. Wish you luck.

My initial post in this thread was about my experience with a girl that I liked very much and suffered from Borderline(from what I could tell) with Depersonalization episodes, Paranoid thoughts and Panic Attacks. So yes, Dissociation(no matter Depersonalization or Derealization) is very common in Borderline. Not feeling real, the whole world and what happens being a dream, or a tv show, feeling detached from your body, etc... It is usually a strange defense mechanism that the brain is using to protect itself. Usually from traumatic episodes of some sort.

 

[sad vlad]

Hope you can manage to find something. Dissociation is really distressing, so hopefully there'll be a way through it for you. I'm not sure if there even are any medications that help with it specifically, and the side effects aren't worth it if it's not having a massive impact on your life.

I think there are guides online for coping with dissociation, but I don't have the link to any unfortunately.

There should be some grounding techniques on the internet. If I remember correctly, the most usual trick is to keep an ice cube in your hand. The best therapy seems to be Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.

Examples of grounding exercises:

http://www.peirsac.org/peirsacui/er/educational_resources10.pdf

https://www.e-tmf.org/downloads/Grounding_Techniques.pdf

For Borderline, try reading books by Marsha Linehan. She created DBT and I think she suffered from the same disorder:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/202733.Marsha_M_Linehan

If any of these links help in any way, that is great. Take care.

 

[lisbeth]

x

 

[space exploration]

/late and i kind of loathe to bring this forum back to square one, but i also feel this problem a lot. in fact, i was disocciating when i found this because im not seeing my therapist any time soon so i wanted to know if google had any awnsers, and apparently it did. i just wanted to know if anyone here had any tips?? for dealing with disocciation in high school?

 

[VanitysFiend]

Wow, I know this threads been necroed but I wanna comment anyway...

I think I can relate to this, but I doubt I have full depersonalisation or derealisation. It's more about the way SA makes me see myself relative to others, like I'm a fake person trying my best to fit in and go unnoticed. I don't date, I don't have a social life, I have 2 proper friends one of whom is my brother, I've never had a holiday, I don't drive, etc etc. I'm at a point where I feel I can't let anybody in cause if I did they'd realise how hollow I am inside...

Reminds me of this scene from american psycho...

 

[lisbeth]

/late and i kind of loathe to bring this forum back to square one, but i also feel this problem a lot. in fact, i was disocciating when i found this because im not seeing my therapist any time soon so i wanted to know if google had any awnsers, and apparently it did. i just wanted to know if anyone here had any tips?? for dealing with disocciation in high school?

To be honest, I don't have any advice beyond "hang in there". Try to distract yourself if you can, because thinking about it makes it worse. You kind of get into a spiral and totally freak out. Wishing you all the best, because high school is hell even without this stuff!

Wow, I know this threads been necroed but I wanna comment anyway...

I think I can relate to this, but I doubt I have full depersonalisation or derealisation. It's more about the way SA makes me see myself relative to others, like I'm a fake person trying my best to fit in and go unnoticed. I don't date, I don't have a social life, I have 2 proper friends one of whom is my brother, I've never had a holiday, I don't drive, etc etc. I'm at a point where I feel I can't let anybody in cause if I did they'd realise how hollow I am inside...

Reminds me of this scene from american psycho...

♥♥♥

I know that feeling too. It's a horrible one. I think the only thing you can do is do your best to try and fix the manageable aspects of it. e.g. could you save up to go on holiday, or could you start learning to drive? Obviously both of those things are easier said than done, but they are doable. Just making a bit of progress with it might help a bit with the sense of hollowness. If nothing else, it'll distract you.

 

[VanitysFiend]

♥♥♥

I know that feeling too. It's a horrible one. I think the only thing you can do is do your best to try and fix the manageable aspects of it. e.g. could you save up to go on holiday, or could you start learning to drive? Obviously both of those things are easier said than done, but they are doable. Just making a bit of progress with it might help a bit with the sense of hollowness. If nothing else, it'll distract you.

I was kinda hoping I'd have seen a psychologist/had some therapy by now, even just getting a proper diagnosis would be nice. I saw my GP at the start of June, and filled in a form in early August but haven't heard anything back yet. I could afford a holiday, I just don't wanna go somewhere alone Learning to drive was something I wanted to try this summer but never got beyond reading a bit of the highway code...

 

[Eyeok]

This is going to sound really stupid, I know, but it's something I can't ever remember not feeling. Do you ever feel like you're not a real person? Like obviously you have thoughts and feelings and whatever and you exist in that sense, but you're somehow not complete and real in the way that other people are? Kind of a sketch outline.

I've seen other people talk about seeing themselves as being a protagonist in their life as if their life were a book, but I tend to feel more like the sidekick of the protagonist in a TV show, or maybe a supporting actress. The person who dips in and out of people's lives rather than having a life myself that people dip in and out of. I mean, life isn't like media anyway so don't take the comparison too seriously, but that's the level of importance I generally feel.

I feel like there's a huge separation/disconnect between the 'self' that's my consciousness and the 'self' that exists in the world, but I don't really feel like either of them is particularly valid.

IDK if any of this even makes sense. I'm pretty sure it all sounds ridiculous.

I'd just really like to hear that somebody out there feels the same way.

I feel the same way but also because of how people treat me. Like I’m a concept and not a real person. I don’t feel like anything said to me is genuine and I’m viewed as a one dimensional side character that comes into other peoples lives as a brief entertainment. I’m an extrovert but I feel like my head is empty and I say things on script. I especially related to not feeling like a protagonist. I’ve been complimented on my looks and how nice I am but I feel like it’s all on a script and I have no other emotions/traits/dimensions. I make friends really easily but it’s like I’m featuring on an episode of their life.