Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 20 of 20 Posts

·
Little Winged One
Joined
·
6,445 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm talking about TRUE happiness-or do you believe it's not a natural part of basic human nature and is atypical at best? Please don't give me that junk about being realistic and realizing no ones perfect. - Not a relationship that's been minimized to death - I'm talking knows no bounds,pure,raging love!!
 

·
Still Running
Joined
·
387 Posts
I have known unconditional love, but didn't last in any length as "no bounds,pure,raging love!! " I do think it is possible.
 

·
Immortal Corrupter
Joined
·
117 Posts
It depends on what you mean by "pure, raging love." If you're talking about infatuation, where you spend all your time thinking about a person and feel in ecstasy every time you're with them, then no. That never last forever. But if you mean being best friends and having unconditional love and affection that seems to get stronger every day, then yes, it's absolutely possible. I know because I've had that sort of relationship for nearly 10 years now with my husband. The constant love and support is one the main things that keeps me going.
 

·
In the doghouse
Joined
·
1,165 Posts
unconditional love
I see this term thrown around every day here on SAS. Could someone please define what this means to them. Because I would think the concept of "unconditional love" is about as realistic as "never ending knows no bounds,pure,raging love!!". :D
 

·
Little Winged One
Joined
·
6,445 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Okay-perhaps the goal is far too lofty-How about feelings of-I enjoy your company,look forward to seeing you everyday and don't usually want to rip your head off and stomp on it! I agree with the idea that unconditional love is a big,big stretch,but I must mention one thing I've become aware of - when you do really love someone -even their stinky feet won't bother you so much!
 

·
In the doghouse
Joined
·
1,165 Posts
Haha.....i love stinky female feet. But yeah, i gotch ya, & yes I do believe it is very possible!!
 

·
Immortal Corrupter
Joined
·
117 Posts
Okay-perhaps the goal is far too lofty-How about feelings of-I enjoy your company,look forward to seeing you everyday and don't usually want to rip your head off and stomp on it! I agree with the idea that unconditional love is a big,big stretch,but I must mention one thing I've become aware of - when you do really love someone -even their stinky feet won't bother you so much!
What you described is definitely possible, in fact, I think it's all relationships should be :).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,216 Posts
Well I know that life without relationships can lead to suicide. ( >cough< gym shooter, and Virginia Tech) )That is a fact. Therefore it only stands to reasoning, that long term relationships lead to happiness.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
192 Posts
^ there have also been numerous studies done over the years that have shown married men tend to live longer and have less health problems on average than those who have never been married.

as for myself i do beleive a long term relationship will bring me happiness. i'm severely depressed because i'm extremely lonely and want to share my life with a woman. i see no way out until i find that, if it ever happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,864 Posts
I totally believe in it... I also believe that there are cycles in relationships where one loves a bit more than the other but it is the fact that it is a cycle that is what makes it work... you are sometimes the one loving and other times the one being loved.... but that it is steady and each person is not selfish and truly is willing to give themselves to the one they love... when one person stops giving and is just accepting the love without giving back... that is when the breakdown happens. Everyone needs to not only love but to feel love coming back, to accept but to feel accepted, to meet someone else's needs but also be having their own needs met, and to be wanted as much as they want the person that they are with.

I am expecting this to be a 'threadkiller' lol.... to quote another thread... but it is jmho.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
643 Posts
I totally believe in it... I also believe that there are cycles in relationships where one loves a bit more than the other but it is the fact that it is a cycle that is what makes it work... you are sometimes the one loving and other times the one being loved.... but that it is steady and each person is not selfish and truly is willing to give themselves to the one they love... when one person stops giving and is just accepting the love without giving back... that is when the breakdown happens. Everyone needs to not only love but to feel love coming back, to accept but to feel accepted, to meet someone else's needs but also be having their own needs met, and to be wanted as much as they want the person that they are with.

I am expecting this to be a 'threadkiller' lol.... to quote another thread... but it is jmho.
not a threadkiller. I'll take one for the team.
 

·
breaking free
Joined
·
2,171 Posts
Why wouldn't it be possible? There is no reason for it not to be.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,599 Posts
Of course its possible. I am in one right now.

The lack of experiencing something in one's own life doesnt mean that it doesnt exist. I am always amazed to see the "does love even exist" threads that pop up frequently on SAS. Love is hard to find, and keeping a relationship strong requires work. But the rewards are great.
 

·
Beautiful Mess
Joined
·
1,284 Posts
Without reading all the replies, I will post my opinion. You can not base your happiness on a relationship. Happiness comes from within and can not be based on a person or thing or event. A long lasting relationship is only successful if you put in the effort and work that is required for it to blossom. It is like a seed that is planted that needs nurturing and maintenance to grow and be successful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
527 Posts
It depends on what you mean by "pure, raging love." If you're talking about infatuation, where you spend all your time thinking about a person and feel in ecstasy every time you're with them, then no. That never last forever.
I wish more people would realise this. Perhaps if they did, then there wouldn't be so many unhappy people in the world. (And I don't just mean SA sufferers.) If you have unrealistic expectations of a relationship (eg. the infatuation stage lasting forever) then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Real life is not a Mills & Boon novel.

But if you mean being best friends and having unconditional love and affection that seems to get stronger every day, then yes, it's absolutely possible.
I agree, apart from the unconditional love bit. I don't think it's possible to have unconditional love from another human being. A dog, yes, but not a person. :D People are far too complex. There are things you can do emotionally that can hurt another human being to the point where it would no longer be possible for them to love you.

I know because I've had that sort of relationship for nearly 10 years now with my husband. The constant love and support is one the main things that keeps me going.
You're both very lucky. Many people never have that.
 

·
Immortal Corrupter
Joined
·
117 Posts
I agree, apart from the unconditional love bit. I don't think it's possible to have unconditional love from another human being. A dog, yes, but not a person. :D People are far too complex. There are things you can do emotionally that can hurt another human being to the point where it would no longer be possible for them to love you.

You're both very lucky. Many people never have that.
You're right, I shouldn't have used the phrase "unconditional love." I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. The rest of my post still stands, though.

We both realize how lucky we are to have what we do...that appreciation is one of the things that keeps our relationship strong.
 
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
Top