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The last 2-3 years of my life I think I have visit bars/Clubs for maybe 10-15 times spread out over those years. Compared to when I was younger I went out 1-2, somtimes 3 times every damn week. I know it's not just my anxiety, but I just got this extreme lack of interest in the social nightlife.

Personally, I just think it is so damn stupid.

Like, where even to begin?!

1. its so damn expensive. Pay high $$ for the Whole night with entry, your jacket in the wardrobe, table, drinks.

2. its loud, you can't hear **** when there are 100 of people talking around you together with the high pump trash music.

3. people are so fake, they act like snobby arrogant pricks. No matter how many people you talk with, none of them really cares about you, they are just there for their own image.

4. you could end up in a fight and get your butt kicked.

5. you screw up your body and brain with the heavy use of alcohol(and drugs?) + the following day is destroying, regarding productivity.

6. I dont drink, and that makes it impossible to vibe with others because they are all drunk.(atleast for my case).

So with the risk of sounding pretty emo-ish, I all-in-all just hate this modern society consumerism lifestyle. What can a person do to socialize with others without being a part of this flashy, arrogant society?

thoughts?
 

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I am not going to lie, nights out can be expensive but there can also be cheap places with lots of drinks for a small amount of money, when they have specials on and such.

Music is generally crap with only a few good songs being played so I agree on that score.

People are loud but that is just the nature of drinking and clubbing, people get rowdy.

The fakeness is all in your head. This sort of thing doesn't enter the mind of 'normal' people. Just let yourself go, and have a good time.

All I can say is just not to give a **** about other people and concentrate on how good you feel in yourself. It's your life, do want you want.

Being the only sober one when you're around a bunch of drunk people can be hard but I just say enjoy it. They won't remember any stupid **** you do and if you do anything silly they won't care. Being silly is what having a good time is all about.
 

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I agree with pretty much everything you said. I've no interest in bars/clubs though I don't mind having a beer at a quality pub with good friends (well, if I had them). Also, I don't like getting really drunk. Rather I drink moderate amounts of wine or beer at home with a dinner, watching a movie or playing a game. That's because I love their taste and I love to try different varieties. Over here beer is quite expensive in a pub/bar/club and wine in a restaurant is way beyond my budget.

I've no problems being social at work or communicating with people at university if someone starts a conversation with me but I've hard time making friends by being the one to make an initiative. At my university there are lots of special-interest clubs (such as cycling, wine-tasting or LGBT-people in my case) where I could find people with similar interests but I haven't got courage to try any of them. Otherwise if you are not into night-life chances of finding friends outside work or school are pretty limited unless you happen to have a hobby where you meet lots of people.

What I find really annoying is that some people seem to expect that everyone should go out at friday or saturday night and get drunk (having done night-shifts in a cab I know a lot about people being drunk and :puke). If you don't you're some no-life nerd. Personally I've no problems accepting that I'm an introvert and a math/computer geek. It doesn't mean however that I'm anti-social or that I've poor social skills or whatever. It means that I prefer few quality relationships over interacting with lots of people. It means that at Saturday night I prefer to enjoy a good movie with a class of wine whereas other people are out clubbing. Why the hell do some people think that this is wrong? While introversion is no problem to me SA is. It is what makes socializing hard to me because it causes me to feel intense physical anxiety symptoms in many social situations. However SA is not who I am. If I didn't have SA I still would probably not go out clubbing but I would have those quality friends who I'd invite to my home for a dinner or go to a pub for a beer.
 

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Moving Towards Destiny
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Not For Me Anymore. Not in A Long Time

When I was in my teens and 20s I loved to go to bars and parties. I loved to get drunk and smoke pot and do some drugs and to tell the truth I had a lot of fun and met a lot of people, but most were distant acquaintances who never became close friends. Only people to get high with and go to concerts.

Now that I am older, the bar and concert scene does not interest me at all, and I have not been to a bar or a stoned out party in many years. They get me too anxious. I end up being by myself as per usual and I can't stand that so I do not go. I am not the fun, outgoing party type. Never really was.

I actually enjoy a quiet evening at home, just reading, watching movies and doing things on my computer. I gave up alcohol and pot years and years ago and I do not miss it.
 

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I don't like the nightlife, but many of my friends do. Their end goal is usually to get a woman's number or to get it in. Sometimes both! They all have jobs, but I think the prospect of getting with a woman is worth the money and energy they invest.

When my friends used to invite me out, I would say, "Sure, I'll go! As long as you pay my cover charge, pay for my drinks, and don't drive drunk". I don't get invited out anymore. Haha. Not just because of that, but they know I don't like crowds and have no interest in courting women. But I would go out if the three conditions I mentioned were met.
 

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I love the nightlife. I miss going out with friends going clubbing and meeting new people. But I had to dump my friends because they weren't very good ones. Now I have nobody to go out with but I still crave going out on weekends. Unfortunately SA is preventing me from living that exciting life at this moment.
 

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God I dislike it

I don't mind going to a pub/bar in an afternoon/evening when its still quiet, but actual "clubs" and nights out, hate..drinks cost too much, music sucks, you can't hear anyone its such an uphill battle trying to order a drink or talk to someone and I'd rather throw myself off a bridge than dance so I just sit their like a bit of a lemon wondering whats an acceptable time I can go home.

I went along with it a few times in my early 20's to see what the big deal was and "attempt to fit in" yeah not anymore, I don't care if people think I'm boring for not being interested, I know what I like and it aint clubbing :sus
 

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I hate the nightlife terribly.

The only bar in my town is the one I go to on occasion. It's mostly an all-guys bar, with mostly guys in their 50s reliving their glory days. It's the same bar that my dad went to in the 70s. And if you didn't know it, you would swear by walking in the bar that it was still the 1970s. They have pinball machines, the dusty old oak bar with matching stools, a gritty old bartender with long sideburns and hair, and a jukebox filled with classic late 1960s and early 70s hits. I enjoy it whenever I go in. The smell of cigarette smoke and draft beer is a lot more pleasurable than any night club in my town (there's only one of those too.)
 

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I love dark hard rock bars with soft sofas and cheap beer. I couldn't feel more at home in these places, and the more I go, the lesser my SA. Just the right dose of relaxation and excitement, great music, favourite drinks, all at once.

Also, I don't think what you are describing sounds like a bar at all, where I come from we call those entrance-costing, overly-loud, shallow-people'd places 'clubs'. Y'know, places you go only to get laid.
 

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This is why I started cold approach during the day. I think if you want to meet people, the bar scene is not the greatest place. As you said, the alcohol and loud music makes it impossible to have a human conversation of meaning in one of those places.

I created a new rule, try to meet people before 11PM. It's after 11PM when all the drunk jerks come out and wreck shop.

My view of bars and clubs is it's mostly way too many horny guys competing for girls. The guys get drunk because they don't have the courage to approach that girl w/out alcohol in their system. What they don't realize is the girls they are approaching have an extremely low chance of sleeping with them anyway. The numbers are terrible.....I'd say it's basically for every single woman at a bar there are probably 5 single guys, something crazy like that.

The odds are even worse if I guy is actually wanting to "hook up" with her.

From personal experience, drunk friends tend to be bad friends. I guess you could make friends at bars, but make sure they are sane if you know what i mean.
 

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I hate it. Mainly because I don't drink and one of the main purposes of going to a bar is to drink. Also it's full of people that I probably couldn't get along with outside of a bar/club. Yet is seems like it's the only place to meet anyone single, at least where I live.
 

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No, I actually love it. My city has bars only, not clubs/discos.. But clubs are better than bars, for me. There was a great club called hollywood in another city, and I spent my time dancing around hot russian girls in that club last summer. It was one of the best nights of my life. Those were the days, maan. I'll go to that vacation place this summer again, and this time I'll drink alcohol. I didn't drink alcohol last year when I'm in the club.

But as you said there are some bad sides of it too.
 
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