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do people see you as stuck up?

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S

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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i know as shy people none of us are really stuck up, we're shy. but everybody i meet thinks i am snobby because i don't say much or how i just smile when they say something funny and leave it at that. i don't find things funny that much. like i'm not trying to be a douche. it's just trying to poke fun at certain things like what you did earlier or what someone else did it's not funny to me unless i see it.

nobody in my school really notices it because my school is all stuck up anyway so i fit in there but i'm pretty nervous about going for interviews in the real world after high school and not being able to make conversation.

how do you learn to start conversations? i have nothing to say to someone i've never met before and i find it weird how people expect me to just start talking to them.
 
A

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#2 ·
I know the feeling. I'm never really sure what they're thinking, but they usually become unfriendly when they realize that I don't want to chat with them. This REALLY gets to me after awhile! It seems a little narrow minded and arrogant of them to ASSUME they know why I don't want to talk. I figured social people that are experts at interaction would understand better. WRONG! Why do they jump to conclusions, and come up with the wrong assumption EVERY time?
 
Still Waters

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#8 ·
marcus1983b said:
i think the smiling might creep people out sometimes. or maybe just me. there is this woman i work with and i beleive she has some sort of social issues, but she is ALWAYS smiling and it really creeps me out.
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I use to always do that to-If out in public a smile was constantly on my face,even if I was just out walking by myself.-I'd smile so much my cheeks would hurt. Now when I'm out I don't do the manical grinning any more.- I know I come off as stuck up and sort of stiff acting-hard to be "natural" when you're always walking on eggshells!
 
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I

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#9 ·
i dont know bout "snobby" but for sure people always get the wrong impression of me... i have a naturally "angry face" i guess..when im feeling jsut whatever, i look like im mad which people misconstrue as a "bad attitude"...nobody likes to be around angry people...the only way i can get people to be more responsive to me is by smiling and "be happy"....but honestly i cant be smiling all day..thats just weird..
AND PLUS IM NOT EVEN MAD most of the time

Still Waters said:
hard to be "natural" when you're always walking on eggshells!
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amen.
 
tremelo

· slanted and disenchanted
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#10 ·
i think i try to overcompensate for my lack of social ease by smiling a lot and, at times, being overly polite (around people i don't really know). around the few people who *do* know me, i'm a lot more cynical/sarcastic. it's like i'm two separate people, and i hate it. i feel like i'm being so 'fake' sometimes, but i really don't mean to be that way. when nerves take over...

i think most people see me as somewhat aloof, but well-meaning. or they could just think i'm insane. it's never really been properly clarified.
 
I

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#11 ·
tremelo said:
i think i try to overcompensate for my lack of social ease by smiling a lot and, at times, being overly polite (around people i don't really know). around the few people who *do* know me, i'm a lot more cynical/sarcastic. it's like i'm two separate people, and i hate it. i feel like i'm being so 'fake' sometimes, but i really don't mean to be that way. when nerves take over...

i think most people see me as somewhat aloof, but well-meaning. or they could just think i'm insane. it's never really been properly clarified.
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does that lead u to doubt who u really are? because thats how it made me, now i dont even know which type of person i really am...the super nice person that i am to strangers or the smart-$#@, jokester, clown, sarcastic person that i am with real friends n family
 
tremelo

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#12 ·
irvanm87 said:
does that lead u to doubt who u really are? because thats how it made me, now i dont even know which type of person i really am...the super nice person that i am to strangers or the smart-$#@, jokester, clown, sarcastic person that i am with real friends n family
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at times, yeah. i wish i could just find a happy medium. or be more 'myself' in awkward situations. i guess i just act overly nice (or completely quiet if i am intimidated by the person/people) when i am uncomfortable as a defense mechanism, but i don't like it, really. it never makes me feel more comfortable. i just wish i didn't give a ****. i think i know who i am (for the most part), but have a really hard time expressing that side of myself when i don't trust people.

i know how you feel, though. glad i'm not the only one who 'leads a double life', so to speak, haha.
 
Brightpaperwarewolf

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#13 ·
When people first meet me, I'm some stuck up rich kid just based on the clothes I was wearing. The way I look can be intimidating because I'm tall, handsome and fit, I don't look anti-social at all, but I am. I can't figure out how to make people feel like they can approach me and that I'm harmless. At work, it took some time for some people to realize I'm just a shy guy who's tries to be nice and cool with everyone and I'm not an *******, at least in that environment. At school, it was hopeless because they are too damn judgmental.
 
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miminka

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#17 ·
YES. And to tell you the truth I don't blame them. I'm not very approachable. I wear very different clothing styles than the typical 'American Eagle' stuff- my style is more sweet and vintage. I tend to wear fancy, over-dressed clothing and jewelry. NEVER sweatpants. I always look proper. Because I guess I am proper. (Actually someone nick-named me Proper) When people around me talk about the Jonas Boys or any of the Disney stars, I scoff and roll my eyes. I like to read French Vogue and I rarely talk to people.

Actually, when I do talk to people I subconsciously use a condescending tone. I can't help it. You are probably laughing at me. I guess it's my defense to feel less stupid. People have called me a snob behind my back. So yeah, people have labeled me as a snob but I guess it would be justified.

And I just realized after reading other people's posts that I do feel like two different people. At school I'm all sweet and precious, and with my best friend I'm sarcastic and mocking. I do feel phony.
 
I

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#18 ·
All the time.
I am always treated or seen as being stuck up. I really am not.
Yes, I'll admit that sometimes I do get a look of disgust on my face or frown when people talk to me or do something, but it's mainly because it's making me anxious and I wish they would stop, not because I'm being stuck up or thinking I'm better than them.

If people actually got to know me, they'd know how nice and not stuck up I am.

I have been accused of that and also of acting like I "dont need anyone", when that couldnt be anything further from the truth.
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Same here.
One that really bugs me is I guess because I walk alone when I'm on campus, wearing my ipod and/or reading a book, most people don't approach me probably because they think I don't want to be bothered. I really wouldn't mind, even if it would make me nervous. I like to meet knew people despite my anxiety.
 
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