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Spread Your Wings
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do people not give a damn about you because of certain characteristics that you have?

I seriously think it's my appearance or part of my demeanor that gives off a 'number 1 victim' air to it.

I can't change my appearance unless I undergo plastic surgery :( My features are not symmetrical and my pupils are unbalance ala Nahla, Halle Berry's daughter.
 

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I don't know what you look like, but while you have no control over your actual physical appearance, you DO have control over your style.

Even if you think you have 'asymmetrical features' or 'unbalanced pupils' you can still hit people with your choice of clothing, hair, body language, tone of voice, etc. (which I would think are more important when it comes to being taken seriously).
 

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Do people not give a damn about you because of certain characteristics that you have?

I seriously think it's my appearance or part of my demeanor that gives off a 'number 1 victim' air to it.

I can't change my appearance unless I undergo plastic surgery :( My features are not symmetrical and my pupils are unbalance ala Nahla, Halle Berry's daughter.
I don't think its looks that determines whether or not people think you are an easy target for abuse. Its something on the inside. I think most shy people struggle with this.
 

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acne

I struggled with acne and I know how emotionally debilitating it can be. I took Accutane and it worked wonders--now my face is completely clear. It's extremely effective medication but there are some side effects (do your research!)
 

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Spread Your Wings
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I used to have full face acne and now that i'm cleared...but still not comfortable with my appearance ...because I thought that if I didn't have them at first, my skin would be baby smooth naturally.

But yes, I understand your predicament as I am a previous acne-sufferer. The painful thing is that around the age of 18 (when I was a recluse) that I only had a clear skin.

It's really sad that i have to go through from the age of 12-17 with severe acne on my face and be robbed out of the opportunity of a social life and esteem.

EDIT: Btw, I went for monthly chemical peel and facial sessions, plus neutrogena helps me a lot in controlling a lot of my acne during the times when I was at my worse, at the age of 15. There was one time I even had a clean face! But hormones was rebelling against me, so acne was right back up till...18 years..when they start to slow down.

Anyways, now I just use a simple facial wash and my face would still be clear. Thanks to my monthly facials. (chemical peels are straining for my budget right now)
 

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i also think people see me as a joke and not take me seriously. although its not acne, some of my insecurities also have to do with my appearance. the thing is when i "get over" one thing, another just replaces it. for example, when i was younger i was very self conscious on the shape of my head, i got over it and said whatever, THEN i started becoming insecure about crooked teeth. got over that to only start worrying about my small nose..so on and so on. but apparently, i never really completely got over any of it because on my "bad days" ALL of my insecurities, past or current, come CRASHING back at me causing severe depression that leads me to lay lifeless on my bed or couch for hours wondering what the point or purpose of my life is...wow that sounded emo lol
 

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I think it's all about confidence.
There's nothing wrong with my face; I used to be pretty when I was young, and I still look okay for my age.
People still have never taken me seriously. I seem to have "victim" stamped on my forehead.
 

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people don't take me seriously coz i'm just plain old dumb
when they, like, see me for the first time, they think i'm normal and intelligent
but when i start to speak the expression on their faces changes and they look at me differently
like i'm a retard, and then they just talk to me as though i'm a child

my psychotherapist does the same

**** them all... I hope God will make them suffer a great suffering someday
 

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dirt person
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People do take me serious. They just don't think I'm an interesting/likeable person.
 

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Not everyone will treat you this way, some people are so unbelievably up their own arses that they'll label you as retarded just because you don't come up to their expectations. Ironically most of them are probably more retarded then any of us but they're so arrogant they refuse to believe it. :roll
 

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I think so. This might also be because I am not a very serious person about anything in my life. I tend to be pretty easy going and calm about most situations. I do want people to take me serious, but at the same time know that I am not serious? if that makes sense. I guess what I mean is that people think I am an idiot because I am never serious, so when I actually do know something they still think I am just being my usual non-serious self lol, hope that made sense.
 

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...Older people still talk down to me in a way I find demeaning as if I am still a child to dominate. That really frustrates me and upsets me. I feel disrespected and degraded. And I sometimes question if it is my appearance is the reason why- if I look younger than I am or I don't dress adult enough. What I think is the most frustrating, however, is that I let them get away with it.
~Christine
 

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Little Winged One
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I get this too-I have a high,airy voice. I also appear sweet - so people assume that's all there is to me. It takes a loooooong time before I'm comfortable enough to reveal anything else but sweet,sweet,sweet. People never stick around that long though-sometimes I wish I came across a little tougher.
 

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Though superficial as it is, appearance does play a factor in first impressions and how people initially react to you. However, the level of confidence you exude can change that first impression. In my case, I think I look fairly normal but my level of confidence, esp. for my age, is not where it should be. Haha, I sound old. I'm in my mid-20s, but I feel like most people my age have learned to become more comfortable in their own skin. When people see that I'm shy and quiet they sometimes treat me like I'm much younger or they don't give me the same respect or attention they show outgoing or very attractive people. I'm trying to become more assertive and make more eye-contact to display confidence. It's definitely a work-in-progress.
 

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"Why So Serious?"
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For me it used to be because I was very very extremely shy and when I actually said something that I really meant people like blew me off. Now my shyness is still there but it has gone down significantly, but still enough to cripple me. I still get blown off as well, like sometimes I say something and people will just look somewhere else and start doing other stuff or most of the time they will see soemone else they recognize from far away and interact with them from far away while I am still finishing what ever I had to say. It really pisses me off cause when they tell me something I try my best to pay attention. It's like sometimes I want to tell them, "HEY ARE YOU LISTENING I AM TALKING TO YOU YOU KNOW"
 

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I get this too-I have a high,airy voice. I also appear sweet - so people assume that's all there is to me. It takes a loooooong time before I'm comfortable enough to reveal anything else but sweet,sweet,sweet. People never stick around that long though-sometimes I wish I came across a little tougher.
Yeah I know-thats how I tend to come across too-sweet, nice, and shy, and-like when people talk to me or make a joke or whatver I kinda giggle or smile or kinda go along with what they're saying and that's all the personality they ever see of me-the smiley part of me and the quiet side of me-but in reality, i actually have an attitude-i mean i am genuinely a nice girl and i'm understanding and everything, and if someone's like "hey, i dont understand the homework, can u explain it," i'm totally cool with that, I like helping, but that's all they see of me-the sweet, nice, helpful girl-but thats not all i am-like i grew up in a really dysfunctional family so I have argued like **** with both my parents, and my younger brother and so I have this *****y side to me-i mean, i can really cus them out if they do something to piss me off-and i can totally intimidate my younger brother, (im not like a monster tho, lol-I just get b=itchy if i have a reason to be which my family always does, and im the oldest of 3 so that kind also justifies my role as ***** for lack of a better word-.....so yeah, i totally get how they see u as one thing when in reality, you're more than that measly weak wallflower version of you that they see
 

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Yeas, but in a different sense. People that know about my affliction(s)tend to think I'm overstating them because I am naturally inclined to downplay everything. I'm very adept at looking normal. Case in point, Facebook.
 

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I've always thought there must be something extrordinarily different about my appearance, demeanor, style or whatever that made people either make fun of me or not take me seriously. I've stopped trying to figure it out, because

THEY CAN ALL GO **** THEMSELVES :boogie

I don't think there's any excuse to treat someone differently based on your personal judgements.
 

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People seem to take me too seriously. And it's my fault too.

I'm extremely ugly. That makes me feel bad, but I don't ever mention it to others, instead I sometimes joke about it. But there must me something in my appearance that gives off "severity", or something like that.

When I first met my friends, we were all first-year students at university. We took the same class, which wasn't crowded at all, so we had an easier chance at getting to know each other. I was doing well, because I had already done studies on that field before entering university, so while everyone else was a "beginner", I was not.
Thanks to this, I had an opportunity to be near them, and to be accepted and respected just for the fact that I could help them (and I did with a smile). It all started.

Later, when recalling the circumstances of our first meeting, I was shocked hearing that one of them thought I was pissed off at her for asking me questions, another told me he hated me for being better than he was at a task, another one told me she felt scared about approaching me because "I look bitterly at people". They all agreed that I look constantly angry, and scary.

So when someone who doesn't know me tries to make a joke about me or says something my friends know I don't like, they usually warn him/her, like I was a man-eating monster... I don't get it, but since it's a means to stop people from laughing at me, I didn't do anything to prove my friends wrong. They still think I'm sort of a serial killer wannabe.
 
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