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im lost can u help me?
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." Elbert Hubbard

you know what i realize is this what we had been doing!? taking things so seriously that we miss out. worrying about the little things thats not even a big deal! but we make it a big deal!

you know what i realize i missed out on too much & this is the reason why! taking things too seriously & personally! little things to. like worrying about how i look or perceived. this is why people are so careless & the reason why they dont care what people think. because life is too short & is not meant to be taken seriously! its meant to be enjoyed & live to the fullest! :)

so take it easy! & loosen up! stop worrying so much! dont take things too seriously. enjoy your life to the fullest! :boogiedont worry about the little things look at the big picture! Have fun & laugh!

Slow down and relax - taking Life seriously leads to added stress: physically, mentally, to relationships and causes for family dysfunctions.

^ i think this might be our cause to SA, stress! worrying! FYI definition of anxiety is worry
 

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I put "Don't take life so seriously" in the same category as "Have a sense of humour", "Don't take it personally", etc., i.e. excuses for someone's nasty behaviour towards you.
 

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im lost can u help me?
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I put "Don't take life so seriously" in the same category as "Have a sense of humour", "Don't take it personally", etc., i.e. excuses for someone's nasty behaviour towards you.
i dont get it so you rather stress out!?
 

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I sometimes have to tell myself that I'm not going to be doomed forever if I fail. I still think that I'm not taking life seriously enough because I haven't been trying my best each day.
 

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Spaghetti Bolognese
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It's much easier said than done, you can say to yourself. 'Right, im not gonna take life seriously anymore!'

and then when you do actually get yourself in a situation that requires you to 'not take life too seriously' you just get even more anxious and fumble everything up!

Well at least i do :S there have been plenty of times I've said to myself 'right im gonna just chill through this' then i pretty much do the opposite. Dont know about the rest of you im guessing something similar though?
 

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im lost can u help me?
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I sometimes have to tell myself that I'm not going to be doomed forever if I fail. I still think that I'm not taking life seriously enough because I haven't been trying my best each day.
nooo i think we take things too seriously. dont you see? what are the things that you are worried about? i bet its like walking into a store or public speaking. so tell me. do you want to spend your whole life worrying about those things!? something thats not even a big deal!? or do you want to live it to the fullest & stop putting so much emphasis on the little things!?
 

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This is easy to say for you cause you probably are now in a good mood and everything seems easy and not so serious. Try saying that when you are depressed. I think you will get the same reaction as to what Im writing now.

Live is death serious and everything second you have to watch your back because people are all over you waiting to stab you in the back, even your best friends. They talk about you behind your back and hate you too. You never should trust any one because THEY WILL hurt you. I have warned you, there is nothing more I can do. I am trying to make your lives less miserable. HTH
 

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im lost can u help me?
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
This is easy to say for you cause you probably are now in a good mood and everything seems easy and not so serious. Try saying that when you are depressed. I think you will get the same reaction as to what Im writing now.

Live is death serious and everything second you have to watch your back because people are all over you waiting to stab you in the back, even your best friends. They talk about you behind your back and hate you too. You never should trust any one because THEY WILL hurt you. I have warned you, there is nothing more I can do. I am trying to make your lives less miserable. HTH
i dont know if i am rite! or wrong! but its a thought ought to consider. & you dont have to warn me iv been thru it.
 

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It is easier said then done I think. I'd like to relax in social situations (the calmness will help focus and should enable better interaction). Because I don't have experience in these situations (or the ability to confidentally dive in to small talk) I can't relax (hopefull it's just practice needed to get to a calm state in these situations but getting that practice is hard).

The general principle is good though. People pick up on things like body launguage (and whether you're happy and smiling). If you don't then your fighting a losing battle from the start when trying to converse with people (they see your bad body language and are wanting to leave the conversation before it's even started).
 

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I appreciate your thread on 'not taking life too seriously.' Sometimes I think different people make progress towards dealing with their social anxiety in many different ways. Some people take leaps towards finding ways to deal, while other slowly plod along and make small steps at a time. It seems like you are taking leaps towards success, and I respect you for that. I want to say thank you for posting about your breakthrough...it leaves me feeling optimistic and positive about my future!
 

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I agree that it's a good attitude and a nice philosophy but it's unrealistic to just say "Don't take life so seriously," and we'll be cured instantly. This is part of incorporating positive self talk which I believe to be important in SA recovery. But there's been so many times where I'm about to give an oral report and I'm just like, "relax. it'll be ok...it's no big deal." And then I go up there and I'm nervous and shaking like crazy and it's a nightmare.

I like the positive outlook though.
 

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We definately are too serious. We are anxious, so of course, we will naturally blow things out of proportion. To me, it's kind of like a phobia. With a phobia, someone is intensely afraid of something. You could be super terrified of spiders, while others aren't that afraid of them. It's learning to realize that it's not a big of a deal as you think.

We fear social situations, we are afraid to fail and miss up and stumble on our own words, while others may see it as not that big of a deal. It's like being social is our phobia. I don't know how to not be so serious, but I do recognize that it's just not worth it. We can't add any time to our lives by worrying about it. We have such a short time in this life, and then we spend so much of it hiding, afraid, when it's just not necessary.

Now, I don't know the cure for altering our thinking, so we don't take things so seriously and learn to relax, but I know for me, I get better at this the more time I spend being social. The more I force myself to socialize, the more I realize I am always making such a huuuuge deal out of nothing. It's like, "wow, I was afraid of this? It's so much fun!" But it takes a lot of time and effort, honestly.
 

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Super Meditator
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I have this thread title tattoo'd onto me arse :)

Seriously though. When I was younger I used ta just walk inta a room of people and be realllly polite and courteous and up fer a serious debate with anyone who wanted ta talk. Waste of bloody time.

As time went by I kinda noticed that when i just lightened up and said whatever popped inta me head, everyone started ta like me better.
And i felt better aboot meself as well, coz I could just be 'natural'. (thats not to be confused with 'au naturale'....... that nudey stuff doesnt go doon as well as ya might think)

Anyway.... as soon as ya just lighten up and take the piss, and put fun as a priority, things DO become much easier and more enjoyable.
You'll be happier, and others will be happier ta be around ya.

Its not even hard ta do. Every single one of us has a light-hearted, fun side. We just allow it ta become burried under our troubles.

The next time ya meet someone, instead of lowering yer head and blurtin oot the usual mundane thing, just try givin a cheeky grin and sayin an equally cheeky reply.
It goes down much better and will do yer confidence a lot of good.
Makin people smile feels good. For you AND the other person.
 

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alien monk
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How do you nurture an unserious attitude?

I think its about attitude towards life rather than saying its not serious. You can be serious but not let it get to you emotionally, not worry about it.
 

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Everybody tells me that I need to take life more seriously. I'm pretty sure if society/people around me didn't push me, I would be one of the laziest people on the planet. And proud of it, because no matter how hard you push yourself we're all going in the same place. Same with our species and probably our universe. I wish people were less serious and less materialistic and more fun. A lot of my anxiety about formal stuff probably stems from this. I can't swear, I can't burp, I have to shake hands, say thank you, I can't laugh at funerals, people choking on their food...
 

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I think the note of this thread is to not think or analyze so much.
 

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Everybody tells me that I need to take life more seriously. I'm pretty sure if society/people around me didn't push me, I would be one of the laziest people on the planet. And proud of it, because no matter how hard you push yourself we're all going in the same place. Same with our species and probably our universe. I wish people were less serious and less materialistic and more fun. A lot of my anxiety about formal stuff probably stems from this. I can't swear, I can't burp, I have to shake hands, say thank you, I can't laugh at funerals, people choking on their food...
Yeah I agree with that. People tend to think I'm serious because I let things piss me off a lot. I guess if I actually took life seriously, I'd put more effort in trying to be like everyone else at all costs, and to fit in so others would approve of me, because if not, then I'd have a fit (like some people do) if I was really serious. I think I've sort of accepted that I'm lazy and that pursuing the "expected" path in life is pointless in the end because no one really cares, even if they act like they do.
 

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I think that overall, the human rare takes itself way too seriously. Those of us with SA are just a side effect of that. You can't live in a society filled with people who take everything way too seriously without at least marching along with everyone else wherever they go and doing as they do.
 
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