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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been giving this a lot of thought recently...

Am I more upset because I feel abnormal because I am not like everyone else in terms of having friends, going out, using the phone etc and I WANT to be like them

or

Is this just the way I am - someone who enjoys peace and quiet and being alone but just feels antagonised because I am made to feel (and making myself feel) like I should behave a different way.


Hope this makes sense - just intersted to know whether people just want to be left alone and not made to feel 'abnormal' in comparison to others, or whether they actually think they could be happier if they were like others...oh, never mind!!!:D:D
 

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Little Winged One
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6,445 Posts
This is a great question! I've made a couple of posts wondering if we are just another version of normal. In our society "normal" is so narrowly defined. - However,if some are going to be friendly,outgoing and the life of the party-then some have to be at the other extreme. Society pretty much tells us there is only one norm. Anyone who is not deemed normal is pushed into the role of oddity. Society casts the "misfits" as dangerous,suspicious people. People that must be avoided or made to change. We are treated as defective. How much of our problems come as a result of being labeled defective and how much comes from assuming the label is correct?
 

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3rd SAS Battalion
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886 Posts
Many people who suffer from social anxiety would love to be able to socialise well, others just want to be able to have the social skills necessary to hold down a job and go normal errands.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company, I am one of them - but I feel it becomes a problem when we feel prevented from attending a social event even if we wanted to. So the question is this, if you don't like social funtions that much that's fine, but could you attend one if you absolutely had to?

Or would it cause extreme anxiety. If it does, then that's an issue worth tackling because no matter how much you like to be alone, there will weddings, events and other situations that spring up out of nowhere that will require your active participation.
 

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That's such an interesting question. I've never thought about it before. I feel like in some ways I would be completely happy to live a "hermit" lifestyle, always alone. I wonder what that would feel like, would it mean no anxiety. But in other ways I want to change because I feel like right now I am missing out on so much that other enjoy so easily. Things like having friends, getting married and starting a family, working toward the highest college degree, or working at a job that I love. I'm not sure which one I would want more.
 

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SAS Master
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943 Posts
I feel the same way about being a hermit, but I think I could do it to an extent realistically and practically. Being a hermit doesnt have to mean being an ascetic monk in a cave. It's ironic that if we do want relationships the people that we would have the most in common with would be staying home also, so we'll never meet. I guess maybe a few romantic connections have happened on this forum but I don't think its a large number.
 

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alien monk
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I like being around people, but they do annoy me sometimes. There has to be a middle road. I would like to be more social, but I only want a few friends and a girl friend and I still want lots of time to be alone...

It would be nice to feel better about not having the people I want in my life... but I want them, so I should feel something (~bad) or I would never go out there and look for them.
 
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