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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone

Ive ended up here after watching a youtube video after trying to find out why i can't sleep (feeling really anxious its 7,30am here lol)

Im going to chat lots of stuff about myself which ive never said to anyone before. manly because im afraid of what my friends and family will think. i think my friends will think its a weakness (everyone wants to go out with the loud and out going lad/ ladys man) and my family will be disappointed im not the successful sochal confedent person all parents probably want there kids to be.

There's a few reasons i think i might have this.

I can't go down stairs and say hello to my parents friends. every 2 weeks they have about 6-8 people round to play cards and have a few drinks. they always want me to come down and say hello and chat to them which i hate and makes me feel very anxious and abit panicky. i hate been the center of attention and i never know what to say, I feel it makes me come across very strange, also know that because i act so shy and rarely go down they must think im abit weird. and my parents want me to go down so i don't seem so weird "why don't you come and say hello, jack and tom come in when were round theres, don't you like our friends"

the 2nd thing is over the past 2 years ive started to hate going into town drinking. I used to be quite sociable (i no about 40 friends quite well... or did a few years ago). Now i dread bumping into old friends. they even contact me on facebook asking to catch up go for a beer but it just makes me feel so wrong picking up the phone or going out and doing it. i make accuses up. I like these people and miss them but feel i would find it hard to chat to them after not chilling with them in so long, i miss partys and wedding i used to have a good time at. and feel i don't fit in or have anyone to talk to.. also there all getting married or bragging about all the girls there shagging which just makes me feel even worse been a virgin at 25, even more of a looser. they all no and i think behind my back they joke about it or look down at me because of it, when really they probaly do but still want to help me get back to normal or brake out this shell

I can't post anything on my facebook wall as i would feel like a total dick. I also don't have many photos up as HATE photos been taken of me. so i feel people looking at my profile will think i have no life. and again that im abit strange

I still go out and a see around 8 friends every night but were all quite quiet (stonners although i smoke very rarely anymore) gamers, petrol heads, not big drinkers (once every weekend / other weekend) I get on well with them but feel anxious if i have to spend time alone one on one. like i think im going to bore them or struggle for conversation


Girls think im strange or weird until i get to know them, takes a few weeks before i can be myself, manly because im thinking bad thoughts about myself leaving me with no confidants

I hate going to the shops or into town shopping i can get all panicky. don't like walking past people. don't know where to look or what face to pull.


I haven't always been like this. id say from a kid to 14. then i got out of it from 15-22 then back in it again for the last 3 years.

Before (like 3 years ago) if i drove past someone i hadn't seen in a while and they where with people i didn't know id pull over and be all chatty and confident. Now ill drive past and hope they didn't recognize me, These people must think ive gone strange as i don't do or act the way i used to.

I used to go the pub and chat to everyone i no and people i don't know i now only stick around my very close friends.

Ive always thought and felt like this but got quite good at putting a face on it and almost blagging that i was more confident than i was. now i can't do that any more

at work i have to work one on one with people for a full week at a time working away. so that's 24/7 a day same hotel room. I used to put a good face on. happy, have a laff bla bla but secretly hoping they wouldn't find me boring, dreading silence or struggling for conversation. i get on well with some of them but as soon as they work out that im still a virgin, or that im not getting laid every weekend i think i struggle to impress and they blantly want me to brag about who i did what i did ect.

I no ive chatted alot of stuff here. and appreciate it if you've made it to the end.

Do you think i have Social Anxiety Disorder? can i get over it and be more confident and outgoing
 

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Hey Tombodge welcome. :hyper
 

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Neurotic
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Welcome to SAS! Judging from what I read about you, you're very likely to have social phobia, yes.
 

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viet
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Welcome tombodge! Sounds like SA to me and from reading your post your like me and many others on here.
 

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Welcome, Tombodge! :)
 

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This sounds so much like me. I used to be the first one at the party and the last one to leave. But for the past 5 years, I'm finding it more difficult to connect with people one on one. Sometimes when I'm talking to a stranger, I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. I'm not totally in the moment or in the situation. Kinda like my head is fogged up. Not to mention a hundred other things that go on.... I hate it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
lol thanks for the welcome. well there you go. another thing on the list of whats wrong with me :)

so far Im dyslectic, got ulcerative colitis (a chronic bowl disease) im small, and now a social anxiety disorder. I could be better looking as well.


Does anyone else find that they have to do well in there job? I pride myself at been good at what i do. or anything im trying to learn. because i don't think highly of my self at least i think think. well im good at that and that


Edit what do i do now? go to the doctor?
 

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hi tombodge, i would say you probably do have social anxiety, i can relate to alot of what your saying, hope you can find the help you need at SAS
talking to others going though the same issue's as you really does help;)

yeh, you should also try visiting a doctor, they may offer you therapy and/or medication, also it's someone to talk to
 
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