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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am uncertain as to whether I suffer from social anxiety.

To make this easy to read I will post reasons as to why I think I do, and characteristics that may show otherwise.

I will start as to why I think maybe I do not suffer from anxiety:


  • I can make presentations in large groups so long as I know everyone or almost everyone
  • I have no problem talking to friends so long as there are at least 3 of us
  • I make a lot of jokes, and present myself as fairly "loud"
  • People would describe me as confident, but never shy

Now as to why I think I do have social anxiety:

  • I cannot talk on the phone if there are people around
  • I have an issue with public toilets
  • I feel weird and try to avoid one on one interactions unless they are with close friends (of which there are not many)
  • I've never been able to approach a girl unless I was drunk etc
  • I've never asked a girl out (because of fear etc)
  • I feel somewhat uncomfortable in my own skin
  • I often feel people do not want to be friends with me and hence I distance myself from them
  • I cannot have really deep conversations bar with my best friend
  • I always feel like I am in a rush even if I have plenty of time. For example I can start reading an article, stop it because I just feel I have no time and then do nothing because in reality I do have time

What made me come to the conclusion that I may suffer from social anxiety:

What made me come here is last night I took 1.5mg of Xanax and went out to the city by myself (I am in a new city and have no friends).
I felt comfortable, like even if everyone was looking at me they were not thinking of anything bad.
I ended up talking to a girl, befriended her friends, and within 20 minutes or so we were in each others arms, exchanged phone numbers etc etc. I felt as if I was communicating with people and connecting with people as I normally should, as everyone else does, like that was my real self, and that this is the level of comfortable interaction everyone enjoys, but personally I've always been caged by my own mind.

Any help and compassion is appreciated
 

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I don't want to give out a diagnosis as I'm not a professional, but I'd probably say so. People have different things that make them anxious when it comes to social anxiety. For example with me, I used to be fine with going clubbing when I was a bit younger, but at the same time I absolutely hated being seen by my neighbours and would hide from them and avoid going out if they were also outside. But again, don't take my word for it. It might be best to get an opinion from a mental health worker.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks Scooby,

Now that you mention it I also find myself often avoiding people just to avoid saying hi, or nodding, or even just smiling.

Additional information that I have forgotten to add and I do not know if this relates but I am extremely secretive. I give out fake names for myself, and I never tell anyone absolutely anything about myself.
I feel that people should know so little about me that if I disappear no one could tell who I was.
 

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I think something worth considering (especially for people with SA) is that there are most likely a whole lot of people that do not feel a 100% comfortable around people or in social situations all of the time. I mean when you are struggling yourself and watch others seem to be so social and carefree it's easy to end up feeling like no is as awkward as you are. But the truth is a lot of the times we don't know what is going on inside. There may not be any real physical tells but people can still feel anxious or uncomfortable. In fact I'm pretty sure a lot of the times people wouldn't be able to tell I'm anxious in social settings though I personally feel very weird and like everyone must be noticing how awkward I am.

So yeah I don't believe the norm is to be perfectly comfortable and at ease all the time. It is normal to be nervous or anxious in certain situations. Something worth keeping in mind. With that said, I can't tell if you have social anxiety or not. If you feel like it is constantly hindering you from doing things you want to or you experience an unreasonable amount of anxiety while doing them, then yes it seems likely. But once again I don't think anyone can give you a yes or no answer here.
 
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