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I was always sheltered and to be honest quite a weird kid.
I wasn't even really bullied, the "cool kids" would be nice to me and joke around a bit with me. Junior year in high school (this past year) I was still not very talkative at school as much, but outside of school I am very outgoing. I basically decided to change my life around and become more confident and sociable. Everyone has told me that wow you are really cool now, and outside of school I am a super confident suave kid. In school however, i feel sort of chained by the old memories and I can't be as open. But the thing is, now that I act more outgoing and confident I don't know if I truly am. This January I went on this long bus trip with a coed group and I chatted up every girl there, and made plans with the cutest girl there. Just this past month, I went on my first date, and not just me but a lot of people say the girl is great looking. She likes me, and I know that cuz we made out and everything. But even after all this change this year, I go home and thing about all my imperfections and I tell myself that I'm not good enough. I look at everything wrong with myself and I am hesitant to believe any praise. When a girl calls me cute I don't believe it. I think about how I am short, and how I have bigger ears and all this other stuff. I just keep putting myself down over what I look like, and I think I am truly ugly.
The rational part of my brain refutes me and says evidence points to me not being ugly, but there is a part that just keeps putting me down.

In some pictures I can look at myself and be like wow I look okay and then others I'm just depressed. I don't understand why I am so doubtful of myself


Here are some pictures of me: like in the suit one I think wow I look good, but then other pictures I just see nothing but my flaws.... especially when I look into my ipod camera. people say its just the camera but idk...I am just so doubtful and I dont know why
 

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