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I believe that's where it starts. Some of us have this sense of always trying to be distant from people close to us. Outside of blaming ourselves, what do you guys believe is the sole or reasons for why you are that way? Or at least if you had to make a few guesses?

I'll wait for some feedback first and go into my own personal story as well. Just don't want to drag the first post out so long to where you guys get tired of reading it :D
 

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For me, my aloofness has come about as a result of feeling, from too many memories, I was giving out so much more acceptance, love, and respect for the other person than I ever received back or which even came remotely close. I think I expect way too much from people as a result of my upbringing, especially my relationship with my mother who was so hypercritical of my brother and I when we were growing up.

I really really want to change but it isn't easy. I'd love to learn to be less formal in how I speak to people in general again. It's completely a defence mechanism, I hate it but I feel absolutely terrified of letting my guard down. Sorry for the long post, hope I understood what you meant correctly. I've been nearly 'socially mute' for over a year, including speaking to people through messages in any manner other than in a specifically business context for work. Anyway sorry I'll shut up now. (Feeling super awkward).
 

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I believe that's where it starts. Some of us have this sense of always trying to be distant from people close to us. Outside of blaming ourselves, what do you guys believe is the sole or reasons for why you are that way? Or at least if you had to make a few guesses?

I'll wait for some feedback first and go into my own personal story as well. Just don't want to drag the first post out so long to where you guys get tired of reading it :D
For me its because i feel like if they knew the "real me" they wouldnt like me anymore. Knew my flaws, many insecurities, anxieties, anger problems etc also keep them at bay to avoid the possibility of getting hurt.
 
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