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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I have Aspergers and ADD and I have anxiety both in social situations but more significantly generally which affects my motivation and focus a great deal in a negative way

For the past 3 years or so I REALLY got into trying any substance, safely with lots of research, I could find. (Thankfully I'm done with that now!)

Initially it was Psychedelics herbs and ethnobotanicals then into psychedelic research chemicals, then "drug" research chemicals.

The odd things is that apart from the first 2-3 times I took any of the 70+ psychotropic things I never got any sense of pleasure or euphoria.

Ex 1: MDMA (ecstasy) tests ranging from 1/30 to 4x the regular dose is felt much less than a small cup of coffee. Higher dose only increases distract-ability and adds some anxiety.

Ex 2: LSD will produce visual distortions and significan shift in thoughs and perspective but no euphoria, rather the opposite.
The first 2 times I took it however it was very euphoric.

I have stopped taking anything after the final hail-mary when I took 65 doses of a substance very similar to MDMA (Methylone) over the course of 10 days and felt no euphoria. Nearly nothing at all in fact, only a shift in consciousness and stimulation not too different than a large cup of coffee.

So now I am sober and just this week I have "seen the light" past the withdrawal off those 65 doses.

So I have sobered up and started getting back in shape. I'm feel back to normal and making progress

However, I just watch the "Afraid of people" documentary and it painted a bright picture of SSRI treatment.
While my SOCIAL anxiety is diminishing and I feel I am making lots of progress, the generalized anxiety is still "fighting me" at every step it seems.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist who recommended SSRIs before in 4 days.
I have an appointment at a mood-disorder clinic on Jan 18th and unlike him they can prescribe things like Ritalin or adderall.

The only substances that have had somewhat of a positive effects is clonazepam at 0.25mg-0.5mg and also GHB/GBL but that has been subject to abuse.
Ativan or Etizolam INCREASE my anxiety. So does alcohol. Caffeine, MDPV (a DNRI) and pretty much everything.

So I'm kinda torn between trying out a SSRI which I have heard MANY good things and MANY bad things about or rather waiting and trying one of the stimulants first.

The biggest fear I have is that the first few weeks on the SSRI it increases my anxiety then when it is supposed to be "getting better" then it becomes more like MDMA and make me crazy distractable and MORE anxious and having to wait WEEKS like that as I wean off of it...

I dunno, what do you guys think?
 
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