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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
k, so does anyone get all s.a. when they are in a car. More specifically at a red light? Like im not sure whether or not to look over at them or look the other way. When i look straight ahead it feels unnatural and probley looks this way too. I always pretend im looking under the car seat for something or turn the radio station. Its like this egotistical thing for guys my age to lookover at the other person and sort of challange them and it makes me sweat bullets. :rain
 

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I think it would be more weird if you kept looking over at them. You basically just do whatever you want to do. Look around, straight ahead, stare at the light, etc.. The people in the other car don't care what you're doing because they aren't going to pay attention to you.
 

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when pulling up to a red light, i pull my car up so neither i nor the people next to me can see me. you can either pull just forward enough or not pull up enough. :)
 

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I never really have SA when I'm in the car because it seems like more of a private place to me. I usually wear sunglasses too which helps a little.
 

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I just watch the light, which feels natural for me, but I'm a girl so I guess I'm unaffected by the "egotistical guy thing to do," but honestly I wouldn't let it affect you too much. I'm usually okay in the car.

Although the other day I was hot and trying to take off my jacket (I was wearing a semi-low-cut shirt underneath) and the guys next to me starred at me the entire time. I nearly started crying, it was absolutely terrible.
 

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You can slightly turn your head and quickly glance at them with a slight closed-lip smile. But if they are not seeing you when you glance, then stare all you want from the corner of your eye more, and if and when you are caught turn your head back quickly. I think that is polite enough lol. Hey, people do it to me and I don't come after them on the road. They might think they know me and aren't sure so they study my face I figure. When the spaceship had a rough landing, we quickly disbanded in all directions and we are still a scattered people.
 

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You can slightly turn your head and quickly glance at them with a slight closed-lip smile. But if they are not seeing you when you glance, then stare all you want from the corner of your eye more, and if and when you are caught turn your head back quickly. I think that is polite enough lol. Hey, people do it to me and I don't come after them on the road. They might think they know me and aren't sure so they study my face.
The stress there for me would be that what when/if they caught me starring they got really offended? Some people aren't as polite. :afr
Or if they didn't, and I turned back quickly, lord knows the light would be about 20 minutes long and I'd feel awkward the whole time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
The stress there for me would be that what when/if they caught me starring they got really offended? Some people aren't as polite. :afr
Or if they didn't, and I turned back quickly, lord knows the light would be about 20 minutes long and I'd feel awkward the whole time.
exactly. I don't wanna come across as a punk that stares you down but at the same time i don't wanna come across as the kid who is super shy even if i don't know the other people in the cars and will probley never see them again in my life lol.
 

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exactly. I don't wanna come across as a punk that stares you down but at the same time i don't wanna come across as the kid who is super shy even if i don't know the other people in the cars and will probley never see them again in my life lol.
If all else fails, just wink at them and really freak them out. Unless they're big guys...don't want to get your *** kicked.
 

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The stress there for me would be that what when/if they caught me starring they got really offended? Some people aren't as polite. :afr
Or if they didn't, and I turned back quickly, lord knows the light would be about 20 minutes long and I'd feel awkward the whole time.
I don't turn my head all the way in their direction, but only a little. I look out of the corner of my eye. If they catch me, they aren't catching a full-on heavy stare with my neck turned all the way in their direction. My neck and eyes glance back quickly and casually and maybe I will turn the station on the radio then or look in the other direction because it goes along with looking for something do focus on or do but I don't think about it and I haven't ever had a problem. They aren't going to be offended like that if they catch you looking quickly. But if you turn your head all the way and then open your eyes really big and decide to fixate heavily and do not turn away quickly with a neutral face or smile with a nice closed-lip smile when caught then that is impolite. It's like ...the same kind of thing you do with strangers in other situations. Try to make some kind of paralell of association. Think of it as similiar being in class for the first time or in a store for example and waiting in line and It's natural to be curious if you know the person by their profile and want to look more. Did you go to school with them? Do they work in another department at work? Is that your neighbor? We all wonder about that Everyone looks at others on the road, its part of being safe because they are part of watching what is happening in the world, but its just a glance usually or maybe more if they are unaware we are watching them and we aren't fully facing them or have huge eyes adn are prepared to turn away. It's the same kind of thing of being in school where you look out of the corner of your eye mostly with a slight head turn if any and without a heavy stare You have relaxed eyes when looking at them and quickly move your focus in a short time or when they see you. Sometimes people smile at me quickly and then turn away if they catch me, both men who are not looking lustful and women who are probably heterosexual and there is no kind of sexual vibe I get from them. I do the same if someone if looking at me a little but not a full neck turned, big eyed look. They wonder if they know me. People have mistaken me for other people before. When I first started to drive I had fears like that too but they went away. I am concerned with the cellphone users and out-of-state license plates. If you see one of those people, you might want to try to keep a wide birth of distance.
 

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I just stare at the light, which feels natural to me. I dunno, I don't get SA in my car... it feels like my own personal space so it's okay.
 

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exactly. I don't wanna come across as a punk that stares you down but at the same time i don't wanna come across as the kid who is super shy even if i don't know the other people in the cars and will probley never see them again in my life lol.
You most certainly are not. To be that punk, there's body specific body language mannerisms that need to be followed. I think you have to turn your head fully facing them, and then open your eyes really big and fixate. If you minimize all those things like I said in an above post and make it like you are in another situation such as at school or in a store where your eyes remain relaxed, you don't fully face them and prepared to turn away quickly and casually, there will be no problem. There only will be if you are dealing with a punk who looks aggressive with big menacing eyes. Most adults aren't like that in driving. They have other faults when driving but they don't stare others down and chase them when someone is casually looking at them unless 1) they are young from highschool and know the person already and have already tried to harm them or 2) you are in a bad area. Try to make it a priority to get out quickly and don't minimize this if you make a wrong turn. Avoid prolonged eye contact with other drivers and try to get out of there.

If I see any punk kids on the road by their big eyed menacing looks when I glance at them or souped-up trashy cars, super super super loud radio of sexually suggestive or violent music (which should be played on low around others if played), gunned engines in neutral at lights ready to peel out and speed or race, loud yelling with cursing (yell, don't curse, it frightens others, in most neighborhoods "HEY. You ********!!! you got lost man! I aint looking for you anymo' man if yoo can't follow me man! stupid ****** ******." scares others in general. But I move away from them when we proceed from the light, anything that is seeming too wild. You aren't the punk, you are a curious safe driver. The punk is the angry aggressive body language one with wild habits. That is not you. But this is a good question you ask because you should know that you are not the same as them but opposite. Those kind of people do not care to even think to care to wonder or want to be polite. You are a caring person to want to know how you can be a good driver.
 

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I use to be Ok while driving before, but since 4 month ago I've been feeling the same. while in traffic, stoped at the light and even seeing people on the sidewalk. It feels as they have their full attention on you. sometimes when I am in this situation I can hardly move my body being soo anxious. few times while I was in that situation I looked over and no one was looking but still I was anxious. ITS VERY WEIRD!!!!

but thankfully I haven't skipped any red lights yet. just to getout of that situation
 

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See, I love my car, I really do, it's my baby and I'd probably freak out if I ever go hit, but I feel like it draws a lot of attention. I get compliments on it all the time so I know people notice it and that really bothers me. I feel like I can't make mistakes or drive around for a while because they'll notice my car more than they would a plain Honda or something. Ah.

I usually just try to stare at the light when I'm at a stop light or I'll look over at the other light if I can view it in order to see if the other lane is turning red yet so I can leave. Thinking about it now, I sort of do go out of my way to avoid traffic lights with lots of people though. I'll take the freeway if I can help it and take back roads home when I can't.
 

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See, I love my car, I really do, it's my baby and I'd probably freak out if I ever go hit, but I feel like it draws a lot of attention. I get compliments on it all the time so I know people notice it and that really bothers me. I feel like I can't make mistakes or drive around for a while because they'll notice my car more than they would a plain honda or something. Ah.
What u Drive ???
 

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Yeah, I have the same problem, especially at a red light. I wonder if the other people are looking at me. What I usually do is have something with me like a book or a crossword puzzle to occupy me until the light changes. And, I usually don't look over at the other people.
 

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I have the same difficulty, I like wearing big sunglasses when I drive so people can't see where I'm looking. This might be different for a man but you can still wear sunglasses, just not huge ones, aha
 

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I do get SA while in the car. I feel awkward when I pull up next to someone and don't know where to look. I pretend to fiddle with the radio stations or pick at my nails or stare at the light. Or I'll pull up a few feet behind them so that they can't see me. Sometimes I get brave and peak over and they're clearly in their own world and could care less about the car next to them. Oh the mind games I play on myself
 

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when pulling up to a red light, i pull my car up so neither i nor the people next to me can see me. you can either pull just forward enough or not pull up enough. :)
I do this all the time too. You don't have to look over at the other person and 'challenge' . I don't know who does that, lol, and why you feel you're expected to do that. I usually look at the cars/buildings/streets/trees/etc. around me.
 
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