My main problem is social anxiety. I have other issues like trouble concentrating and very bad short and long term memory. I loose things, and get lost while driving way too much. My child hook was kinda F'd up.. don't really have time to get into that.
I used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs because of my self esteem and anxiety issues. I was pretty much killing myself day by day. About a year and half back I decided to clean up my act. I left my family, ditched my friends and moved. During that time I started college. I made no new friends because of my social anxiety and esteem issues. The only time I really got out was when I worked part time. I went to some AA/NA meeting but the anxiety was even to bad for that.
About 3 months ago I made the decision to become more social because I couldnt stand living like that anymore. I figured if I do not become more sociable then I will never gain the confidence, and self respect I deserve.
I made an action plan, and started to follow it out. I got a job, made a friend, and now im working on random chit chat with strangers.
The job I got is in a sales position where it forces me to talk to people all day long. I was doing good, but the anxiety was taking over so much that I could barely carry out my responsibilites. I beleive they were about to fire me. I could not take it any longer but I made a promise I wouldnt quit, so the only thing I could think of was calling the doctor.
.
Antidepressants do not work on me, and they do nothing but exaberate the issues.
What I really wanted was benzo's to get me through just a couple more days. I thought he was going to reluctant to hand them out because prior drug history. But, I was wrong he wrote my a script to take 2 each day.
Well, now that was a month ago, and im still taking them every day. Im deathly afraid that im going to get addicted to them.
Everytime I go out with my friend, or when I work, I always reach for them. They work almost too much. When im on them i push myself out of my comfort zone which I like, and people don't seem to get to me like they did before.
I really want to quit, but i dont want to be a social reject no longer. I heard some pretty bad horror stories about this drug, and how the withdraw sypmtoms are worse and 10x longer then herion.
Right now, I was thinking about cutting back to 2/3 times a week so that I can take them when I know im going to meet new people, or if im in a stressful sittuation in work. I dont know if that is possible, without feeling the withdraws from this drug. Is it possible to take this drug half the week without your body craving for it the other half?
My current dose is 1 to 2.0 mgs a day.
UPDATE:
I want to start to taper down my xanax intake this week, but my boss has me working double the hours than usual plus i was going to go to a club and try to meet people.
The xanax works with anxiety when talking to people, but when I do not take it now I notice that the conversation get reals uncomfortable and negative thoughts start to arise, and then my mind goes blank. But, when I take the xanax at work there is also a downside. My cognition is really affected and I lose things, and get numbers wrong. I really want to cut down so i never have to experience withdraw or addiction. But, on the other hand I want my job and my sanity.
At what dose and how many time a week do you say it is safe for it being non-addicting, and that you experience no withdraw symptoms.
I used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs because of my self esteem and anxiety issues. I was pretty much killing myself day by day. About a year and half back I decided to clean up my act. I left my family, ditched my friends and moved. During that time I started college. I made no new friends because of my social anxiety and esteem issues. The only time I really got out was when I worked part time. I went to some AA/NA meeting but the anxiety was even to bad for that.
About 3 months ago I made the decision to become more social because I couldnt stand living like that anymore. I figured if I do not become more sociable then I will never gain the confidence, and self respect I deserve.
I made an action plan, and started to follow it out. I got a job, made a friend, and now im working on random chit chat with strangers.
The job I got is in a sales position where it forces me to talk to people all day long. I was doing good, but the anxiety was taking over so much that I could barely carry out my responsibilites. I beleive they were about to fire me. I could not take it any longer but I made a promise I wouldnt quit, so the only thing I could think of was calling the doctor.
.
Antidepressants do not work on me, and they do nothing but exaberate the issues.
What I really wanted was benzo's to get me through just a couple more days. I thought he was going to reluctant to hand them out because prior drug history. But, I was wrong he wrote my a script to take 2 each day.
Well, now that was a month ago, and im still taking them every day. Im deathly afraid that im going to get addicted to them.
Everytime I go out with my friend, or when I work, I always reach for them. They work almost too much. When im on them i push myself out of my comfort zone which I like, and people don't seem to get to me like they did before.
I really want to quit, but i dont want to be a social reject no longer. I heard some pretty bad horror stories about this drug, and how the withdraw sypmtoms are worse and 10x longer then herion.
Right now, I was thinking about cutting back to 2/3 times a week so that I can take them when I know im going to meet new people, or if im in a stressful sittuation in work. I dont know if that is possible, without feeling the withdraws from this drug. Is it possible to take this drug half the week without your body craving for it the other half?
My current dose is 1 to 2.0 mgs a day.
UPDATE:
I want to start to taper down my xanax intake this week, but my boss has me working double the hours than usual plus i was going to go to a club and try to meet people.
The xanax works with anxiety when talking to people, but when I do not take it now I notice that the conversation get reals uncomfortable and negative thoughts start to arise, and then my mind goes blank. But, when I take the xanax at work there is also a downside. My cognition is really affected and I lose things, and get numbers wrong. I really want to cut down so i never have to experience withdraw or addiction. But, on the other hand I want my job and my sanity.
At what dose and how many time a week do you say it is safe for it being non-addicting, and that you experience no withdraw symptoms.