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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My father wants me to order some foods in restaurant. My friends did that also before. I give some excuse to my father/my friends, I have not order it.

I wonder why my father/my friends want me to do that, I never order anything in restaurant when I am together with them, so they want to see me order it? or they think I don't know how to order? they think I am stupid, I have some problem?
 

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Same thing happens to me with my parents. They are like 'you need to stop being afraid' or something similar. Like I want my mom to pay for something for me since shes already in line and shes like 'no you can do it, you gotta stop being like that,' and its all in front of people. Same goes for returning something to the store.

I think its their way of trying to help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I know they are trying to help me, but don't you think that they think I am a loser? or I think too much...
 

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girl10 said:
My father wants me to order some foods in restaurant. My friends did that also before. I give some excuse to my father/my friends, I have not order it.

I wonder why my father/my friends want me to do that, I never order anything in restaurant when I am together with them, so they want to see me order it? or they think I don't know how to order? they think I am stupid, I have some problem?
Guess what, I have a good friend she's so talkative never has nothing to say, she's seen as very confident and a friends with everyone type of person, she's really bubbly and loud and she always used to ask me to order for her when we went out. The pressure from them probably makes you not want to but it's little steps like this that make you more exposed and at ease with the little things that make you anxious. You should try next time, without having to be prompted. It's ok.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I have a little anxious if I order food to waiter face when I am eating with my parents/friends. I think they will see my bad expression and think I am a loser. (my quiet voice, my facial expression looks anxious etc.)

I will try next time, but having to be prompted because I can not be used to order food with my parents.

sorry for my bad English.
 

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I seriously doubt that anyone thinks you're a loser, particularly not your parents. You are their child, their pride and joy, although they may sometimes have funny ways of showing it. let go of that damaging term, "loser".

I had trouble ordering drinks at bars. couldn't do it. something about the atmosphere I guess - bars can be loud, only outgoing people go to bars, etc.

but, I felt that if I wanted to start getting over my anxiety, it was something I should do, it was a start.

So i did it. the first time was nerve-wracking, very difficult. the second time, it was a little better. The third time, it was fine. so, this is a way you can start to tackle the bigger problem. start small and work your way up.

no need to apologize for your english. I only know english - whatever your native language is, i certainly can't speak it.
 

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Buddy!
They don't think your a loser that's for sure. Like it was said earlier, try it next time facing those little things will make them easier.
AS for me, for some reason can order fine, but I have a hard time getting a waiters attention. Especially if they are far away, hard for me to raise my voice in public.
baby steps..
;^)
 

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I doubt they think you're a loser. They're your friends/parent. If they really thought you were a loser, you wouldn't have the friends and your dad probably wouldn't take you out to eat.

I've been told, when people have me do things, it's because they know I can do it, they just want me to prove it to myself. I used to be annoyed by it, but now I see why they do it and it makes me feel better when I do it.
 
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