[meowgirl]

I'm extremely shy in the sense that I don't like to spend a lot of time with people. I have the couple of close ones, like family that I love to be around, but as for hanging out with friends everyday and meeting new people and going out everyday, I simply spend much of my time alone. A lot of people have tried to get me to change, especially at school, to be an "outgoing" person, and to just stop being so quiet. Some even get mad at me for being quiet! It's frustrating, because I don't think there is anything wrong with being so shy, of course I would like a couple of friends here but sometimes I wish that they would just understand that's the way I am and accept me for who I am, especially how hard it is for me to talk to people without feeling suffocated... Does anyone ever feel this way too?

 

[thecraftyveteran]

yeah i totally understand, i would like to find friends who also have sa because for the most part it seems like ppl with sa are really genuine and not fake like others.

 

[britisharrow]

Maybe people are happy as quiet people and 'loners', so that is not necessarily social anxiety. However, if you feel that you have an inability to socialise when you WANT to then you have some degree of social anxiety.

People don't understand social anxiety or depression unless they have it, they find it difficult to conceptualise it as an illness. I, for example, have great difficulty using a telephone, it is very difficult for me to explain to others why this is.

I don't even know why it is. It's good that you have family to talk to as I come from a family in which we don't talk about emotional issues at all, so my parents simply do not get why I cannot answer the phone or come to the dinner table. This makes them think I'm impolite and makes me feel frustrated.

Sitting down and talking is not an option, when you haven't had a relationship like that with someone, after twenty-five years it would be difficult to do and I have come to accept the relationship I have with my parents as one that is caring but not emotional.

Turning to your own life, do not be ashamed or feel abnormal for spending time alone. Even though I have social anxiety, I enjoy my own company too. I would hate to be someone who couldn't enjoy themselves without the aid of someone else, wouldn't you?

 

[Globe_Trekker]

I can relate to your story. I think it's perfectly OK to be shy and quiet, as long as you are comfortable that way. I've had people tell me I'm too quiet countless times :sigh you just can't avoid it. I get the impression people don't want to understand. They'd rather judge and criticize than try to see it from 'our' perspective. People are apt to judge others on the fly; it's just human nature. At least that's the way I see it.

 

[Thomas79]

I have a couple friends with minor SA, or have dealt with it severely in the past.

Simple truth is, no matter who are you. There's going to be people that wont understand you, only difference with SA is that people overrate their "disorder" in their heads.

 

[meowgirl]

I wish I could give everyone who doesn't understand SA, SA for a week, (and then by the end of the week they are magically cured because I wouldn't wish this existence on my worst enemy). I'm sick of people not getting it.

Once my friend was meeting someone from an email she hadn't met before, (it wasn't a date, it was a reseach participant who volunteered and we didn't know what he looked like). She had to approach randoms asking if it was him. She is naturally pretty outgoing, but she was reluctant to approach people. I said to her ''that feeling your having of being scared of approaching strangers is what I feel with most people". She looked at me like I was an insane basket case.

I know exactly how that feels >w<. People always look at me like I'm weird for being quiet.

@britisharrow I'm not sure if I have social anxiety as I've never been diagnosed, but I have always wanted to make friends and never been able to. I prefer to be alone because whenever I go outside where I am forced to speak to people, and feel very very uncomfortable and try to avoid it as much as I can, even though I really would like to make friends. :<

Thanks for your input everyone:thanks