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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I took a big risk applying and interviewing for my potential job. Because I am majorly depressed, if they say you didn't get the job (will know on Fri), that's likely to be the straw that broke the camels back per se. So maybe I should have waited till I got some therapy and felt better (even though that may take ten years, in which by that time I will have missed the boat) to apply for another job (and especially interview for one). I know that if this job does say no I am taking a break and shutting myself down from everything (besides applying to DVR), which is a risk, until I start getting therapy because social encounters could just make me feel worse.

If I had just treated the depression when it started, none of this would be happening right now. I know one things for sure, I'm going to regret this mistake for the rest of my life as it's one of the biggest I've ever made. Now I'm stuck with this horrid, rigid depression which is responsible for a whole host of things which I won't go into detail here, which won't go away, and could possibly debilitate me for life.

With no one to help me I'm scared ****less. What happens if they say no and I have a major breakdown? Who will support me?

I know in the last week the depression has turned scary. I have had ten mini episodes, with one large one on occasion, every day for the past week. This really gets me wondering why this is happening. These episodes last anywhere from just a couple seconds to two hours, and during this time coping is impossible, I feel very ill (nausea (sometimes even vomiting), diarrhea, severe headache, agitation, mood swings, and insomnia) I feel like dying, and the worst I feel unusually hungry and tired, as well as severely unmotivated. Scary indeed.
I have ten episodes on average in one day, and one day I had nineteen mini episodes with one major episode. This is real, my doctor diagnosed me with major depression last year. If this continues my whole life (even if it continues for just one more month), it'll eventually build into major episodes and I'll be hospital or bed bound the rest of my life. VERY SCARY SITUATION.

I think maybe if I waited till my therapy was completed, even though I may have missed the boat, I'd be much better off

I need to know from you guys whether or not I made the wrong decision.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I think you made the right decision. Even if you don't get the job, it is great that you could push yourself to go through with the interview, in spite of your depression. That takes a lot of willpower. Just think what you can do when your depression is gone!
Thank you so much for replying, I now think I made the right decision.
 
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