To clarify, the book says (this is on page 104, by the way):
"...Look at our behavior , thoughts and feelings the way an objective, nonjudgmental person would."
This is important; you need to try to have an outside view of yourself.
It's amazing how much this can help. For example, I often say to myself and others, "I have no friends."
Is it true?
No, it isn't. I have many friends. Online, there's (name), (name2), and (name3); they all care about me, as far as I know. I also have friends offline, including (name5), (name6), and several upperclassmen. I might not hang out with them all the time, but they are friendly and helpful.
Is it helpful to get what I want?
No, it just makes me pity myself and stops me from focusing on bettering the relationships I already have.
What is its overall impact?
It makes me less willing to try to make new friends, because it makes me think all my previous attempts have failed.
Would I be acting this way if I didn't have SA/SP?
I doubt it. I would "hang out" with the aforementioned people more often, so it would be more apparent that they are my friends. I would talk to the three online people offline, and I would have three great relationships.
Wow.
