Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,068 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have no idea how to do the direct approach thing.

I have not yet contacted anybody on okcupid. These women are all looking for guys who are sure of themselves and are achieving career oriented goals. They all want to date somebody living on their own, or at least not with their parents.

All I do on there is roll the dice. I never contacted anybody on there out of anxiety. Sometimes my profile is viewed by the members whose profiles show up from the roll, but they never message me either.

I have a dull picture on there, so it probably doesn't do me any justice.
 

·
Inactive Member
Joined
·
574 Posts
These women are all looking for guys who are sure of themselves and are achieving career oriented goals. They all want to date somebody living on their own, or at least not with their parents.
How do you know? Do they all say so on their profiles? If they do, it might be time to sign up to another dating site. If they don't, it might be time to stop making assumptions.

I am unsure of myself, don't have any career-related goals and am still living at home. It would be pretty hypocritical for me to demand that any potential partners meet the criteria you suggest, nor would I make those demands because that would just be setting me up for rejection and humiliation. I would rather be with someone who understands where I'm coming from.

There are lots of women out there who are just as lacking in confidence as you are. It's just that men tend not to acknowledge their existence because they tend not to be smoking hot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,068 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
How do you know? Do they all say so on their profiles? If they do, it might be time to sign up to another dating site. If they don't, it might be time to stop making assumptions.

I am unsure of myself, don't have any career-related goals and am still living at home. It would be pretty hypocritical for me to demand that any potential partners meet the criteria you suggest, nor would I make those demands because that would just be setting me up for rejection and humiliation. I would rather be with someone who understands where I'm coming from.

There are lots of women out there who are just as lacking in confidence as you are. It's just that men tend not to acknowledge their existence because they tend not to be smoking hot.
Well a lot of them do.

I'm already eliminating the ones that smoke, and I'm not too keen on drinkers either even if just seldom. I probably wouldn't fare well with a single mother.

Interestingly, I just rolled on somebody with a 93% match 90% friend, an 2% enemy. Too scared to send something
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,634 Posts
How do you know? Do they all say so on their profiles? If they do, it might be time to sign up to another dating site. If they don't, it might be time to stop making assumptions.

I am unsure of myself, don't have any career-related goals and am still living at home. It would be pretty hypocritical for me to demand that any potential partners meet the criteria you suggest, nor would I make those demands because that would just be setting me up for rejection and humiliation. I would rather be with someone who understands where I'm coming from.

There are lots of women out there who are just as lacking in confidence as you are. It's just that men tend not to acknowledge their existence because they tend not to be smoking hot.
I acknowledged women who weren't smoking hot. Isn't that a bit of a generalisation women make? I always liked women who showed good communication skills...ie. good listeners and didn't overindulge their own stories on you....it always made them seem "hot" to me because they made me feel interesting!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,634 Posts
Well a lot of them do.

I'm already eliminating the ones that smoke, and I'm not too keen on drinkers either even if just seldom. I probably wouldn't fare well with a single mother.

Interestingly, I just rolled on somebody with a 93% match 90% friend, an 2% enemy. Too scared to send something
My advice..don't have a long checklist of expectations.....Number 1 criteria...do you feel relaxed with them...can you be yourself?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
255 Posts
Just do it. Be more outgoing. Talk!

just kidding :)

That's the typical response I get from people who I talk to about being single.

I know how you feel though. If you are ready to start dating more then maybe speak with a relationship counselor who can help you date with SA. They should be understanding since they may have seen other shy people who have trouble dating. And it's hard to find people on online dating sites that I have a lot in common with since most people on dating sites are so outgoing. Maybe you could try shypassions dating site. There are people on that site who are shy and may even have a touch of SA. I personally feel uncomfortable with online dating. Matter a fact I feel uncomfortable dating period. But it is something that we all must overcome if we want to find a partner. Unless you're one of those lucky ones who happens to run into your partner by chance, and you just immediately connect.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top