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Discussion Starter #1
I have to make 3 calls today:-

1. To my doctor to ask for an appointment becuase my SA and depression is worsening again
2. Call someone about some work to our house
3. Call back my ex-work manager who left 2 messages for me last week. (I think they have got stuck with something I used to work on). I am too scared to call back - I left the company in July and am currently on a break, which seems to have increased my SA if anything. I haven't spoken to anyone from work since, and don't know if my position has been filled. Part of me thinks sod them, tough luck, should have looked after me better and paid me properly and I wouldn't have left, and part of me knows I should call back to be helpful in case I ever need a reference or to get a job with them again.
I have put this off for days, and am sat here typing this rather than doing anything about it. The longer I leave it, the harder it gets to explain why I haven't called back yet.

So far, I haven't made any calls. I also need to go to the supermarket, but need to make a list first, but want to be out of the house to avoid my step daughter who will be home in an hour. :afr Before I know it, the day will have gone, and I will have achieved NOTHING again.

Does anyone find that the more things you have to do that you don't want to do, the less other things you achieve as you waste time, your mind too cluttered to do anyhting?
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Ha - just called the doctors - no appointments available - call back tomorrow...and so it continues...:no
 

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Positively Revolting Hag
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Yeah, I used to do this all the time when I was in college. I'd have all this work to do but rather than doing anything I'd do nothing at all.
 

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Geese
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I am a serial offender with this. I know I need to make a call and instead of just getting it over and done with in the morning I will wait all day and put it off until the last minute. Once I finish the call I then feel accomplished and good though and then beat myself up for not doing it in the morning instead!!!!

I HATE THE [email protected][email protected]#[email protected]#%

So I relate with you Deeley, you can do it though as you did today!!
 

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Yeah I know what you mean. I've had an issue surrounding some important documents that I am supposed to send to the local council, only I knew it would require me phoneing them to clarify some issues. There was a two week deadline associated with me submititng the documents and because of the needed phonecall thing I've avoided dealing with it until today and I am a week over their deadline. It got to the stage where I really cannot put off any longer or suffer financially :afr

Well needs must and this forced me into phoneing them, I got the issues clarified and had to lie about why I am late contacting them - they were actually nice and understanding even though it was a blatant lie.

SA moral of this story - the fear of phoneing and thinking of it far outweighed actually doing it. It was actually straight forward and resolved some worries. Hmmmn, I am trying to use the mantra "Just do it" these days instead of wasting so much energy on thinking about things :um
 

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Yeah, phones suck. And I totally beat myself up if I sound like an idiot when I'm talking. And the awkward silences are horrible!

But most often nothing like that happens. I find that even if I'm nervous, I usually handle things pretty well.
 

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Done with SA
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Yes, I hate talking on the phone so much.
I do it, anyway, when I have to. Most of the time, I just doodle on a piece of paper while talking and it helps loads.
 

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3rd SAS Battalion
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I understand and relate completely, I abhor using the telephone and I automatically think the person on the other end knows I'm an idiot as soon as I talk.

Here's some practical advice that has helped me a bit. There are people out there with profound speech impediments who make phone calls and they must go through absolute hell but they do it I'm witnessed them do it so if they can do it so can we.

I don't mean we are to feel better in others' discomfort, what I mean is that it puts it into perspective, it can be done and even those for whom it is incredibly difficult do manage to do it.

Secondly, the person on the other end has no idea who you are at all, they don't know if you're a corporate lawyer, someone suffering from anxiety, the doctor's wife, a police officer. What they think of you is a blank canvas, and the picture will be painted by what you say, so even if you don't feel confident, faking it on the phone may feel forced but will get better with practice.

Oh and when was the last time you saw someone walking down the street with a profound limp? Okay and how long did it actually stay in your mind? Seconds.

No matter how you sound on that phone call, the person will have forgotten about it five minutes later.

This is all rational stuff, problem is our emotions aren't rational, but it is somewhat comforting to read, I hope.
 

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Buried at Sea
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It gets me into trouble at work a lot because I put off phoning people.
 

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I think making phone calls is my biggest problem. I will sit there and work myself up and then by the time I pick up the phone, I start shaking and getting light headed. My voice often wavers after all this. *sigh*

I have less of a problem face-to-face than I do making a phone call to a stranger..
 

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I am horrible with my phone. I rarely answer it, unless its my bf. Even if its a good friend or family member I WANT to talk to, im too scared to answer. Then when it goes to voicemail I tell myself that from now on no matter who it is I'm going to answer. Of course I don't, but every now and then I do it and it's never as bad as I make it seem.

And I never make phone calls that I need to. Last time I talked to my mom she asked me to call her back when I got some dates for visiting her. That was over a week ago and I've had the dates and want to call her but keep putting it off. I always do this and end up putting it off all the way until she ends up calling me because I haven't. It's so rediculous of me.

Also, one of my oldest best friends lives in another state and she calls me every now and then but I never get up the courage to answer even though I miss her and want to talk. So we never get to talk other than the occasional facebook chat or text. I feel so pathetic =[
 

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Discussion Starter #14
So good to hear I'm not alone on this!!

Out of those 3 phonecalls, I STILL haven't managed to get an appointment with my doctor. This isn't because of putting off the call (it's one of the only numbers I will call without delay) It's because she is part time and it is IMPOSSIBLE to get an appointment with her. Tried again this morning, but in 3 minutes where the line was engaged, ALL her appointments went for this week.. :-( Sigh - I was actually so frustrated and upset this morning, I burst into tears.

I called the house realated one and the guy was on holiday so i have to go through all that again next week.

The ex-work one - I never called my ex-boss back. I found out via text with an ex-colleague that my job has been filled, which I found surprisingly gutting. Don't really feel like helping them out anymore, but then again, should I try to stay on good terms?

Anyway, no more calls to make today, but am in knots about other stuff (as usual, but thats another thread). Two out of 3 calls made, but zero success sadly. :afr
 

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Don't really feel like helping them out anymore, but then again, should I try to stay on good terms?
It may be useful in the future if you do, for references or future employment. You never know.

I got sacked once from a good job (long story, not really SA related) at some point later I needed a reference and some info from them so I sent my old boss an email but he had left, another director got the email and asked me to phone them. I wasn't keen on the idea at all but decided to take the plunge. I used to get on fine with this lady and she wanted some info about some work related stuff. I got on the subject of references etc. she said they would give me a good reference and even lie about the dates I worked there so it didn't look like they sacked me.
 

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Arghhhh! The whole phone thing, I hate it! :mum Last Thursday, I think it was, I didn't go to something and I was meant to ring right away and tell them I wouldn't be in but I just started freaking out about it instead, and in the end they rang me-- at the end of the day. Somehow about 6 hours passed with me just worrying about it all and not calling. :blank
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I never did make all those calls, and ex-work text me AGAIN yesterday. For some reason, I just can't phone them!!! What the hell is this problem all about??!
 

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It takes GREAT effort on my behalf to make the phone calls I need to make, especially if I know that the conversation won't be a pleasant one.
Deeley, be brave! Just do it, call you ex-work. You have no idea how empowered you'll feel if you do! Even if it doesn't go well, and during the talk you go numb, or get cotton-mouth, or your hands start shaking, you still can power through! They can't kill over the phone, and you can't die:)
Good luck!
 

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I'm the same way. I make up lame excuses for myself as to why I didn't make the phone call. Example I tell myself that I couldn't make the call because I had to work even if I had time to call before or after work. Or I will think to myself, oh I will make that phone call tomorrow but then I keep pushing it to tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. It's so ridiculous if you really think about it and yet it is so hard for me to do. I even blush while I'm on the phone and no one can even see me. Or I will occosionally have someone else call for me. Once I make the phone call I feel pretty good for a few minutes that I berate myself for not doing it earlier. You just can't win.
 

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Wow when I first saw this thread in a Google search I first thought it was something I had posted a couple of years ago, as it sounds like something I would say.

Since Saturday I've had 48 hours to ring someone and of course me being me I've left it right to the last second. When I'm actually on the phone I don't feel too bad, it's just all the anxiety leading up to doing it. Yes I could ring them right now and get it over with, but with me it's always another half an hour.

Everytime I come off the phone I always think "was that it?!" but that doesn't make me feel any better the next time I have to make a call :p
 
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