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Discussion Starter #1
Anyone else? Idk if it rises to the level that I'd call it tokophobia but it is pretty distressing, how when someone talks about pregnancy, especially pregnancy in relation to my body being fertile, I feel nauseous. Normally I don't have to think about it much, unless something reminds me, like all the ****ing pregnancy/baby threads all week on this site...

It's just weird, it's a weird type of fear, because it's not something that's relevant to my life. I have no intentions of getting pregnant, I'm not currently sexually active, and even if I was it's easily curable. So, it's strange how upsetting it is to me. It's like being deeply afraid of getting killed by sharks while living in the midwest usa :lol. Still though, the thought of it causes nearly as much anxiety as thought of public speaking.

MY GOAL: I don't need to be comfortable with the idea of pregnancy since I never will be pregnant, but I would like to be able to comfortably discuss the topic of pregnancy without feeling like I'm going to throw up. And I'd also like to think about it less, there's no reason for me to randomly imagine being pregnant while I'm laying in bed and get myself into a panic that makes it hard to sleep. Does anyone have any advice?

I have wondered if getting an infertility treatment like a tubal or essure would make this anxiety vanish because it truly would be impossible then, I'd no longer have a body capable of pregnancy and so I could think of it detached from it, like how guys must think about pregnancy, something that happens to the others.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
No one else feels this way? Even not this specifically but if you've had any sort of disgust or anxiety over something that wouldn't ever come true, or about a bodily function?
 

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Till one day, when you will fall desperately in love with a guy and the wish to have a child with him, to remain a testimony over time of your deep love for him, will be stronger than your current fear.
 

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I'm sure we're all afraid of some kind of illness or condition. In your case it's pregnancy. Others are deeply afraid of cancer, heart disease, etc. The good news is that pregnancy is a bit more controllable than others. Pregnancy can have profound impacts on your body, so I don't think a fear is irrational.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I'm sure we're all afraid of some kind of illness or condition. In your case it's pregnancy. Others are deeply afraid of cancer, heart disease, etc. The good news is that pregnancy is a bit more controllable than others. Pregnancy can have profound impacts on your body, so I don't think a fear is irrational.
I don't know, I think most people generally aren't that afraid or anxious of things like that, when they have no reason to be. Like if someone started coughing they might get really afraid of lung cancer until they got checked up, but if someone had no lung problems whatsoever, seemed completely healthy and didn't smoke, they wouldn't be.
 

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I don't know, I think most people generally aren't that afraid or anxious of things like that, when they have no reason to be. Like if someone started coughing they might get really afraid of lung cancer until they got checked up, but if someone had no lung problems whatsoever, seemed completely healthy and didn't smoke, they wouldn't be.
There are hypochondriacs, though I get they're afraid of undiagnosed conditions they think they already have. I can see your fear in the same way. It's just that pregnancy is one of the possible conditions you're terrified of.
 

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alien monk
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sounds like a pretty rational fear to me
 

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Discussion Starter #8
There are hypochondriacs, though I get they're afraid of undiagnosed conditions they think they already have. I can see your fear in the same way. It's just that pregnancy is one of the possible conditions you're terrified of.
Any thoughts on getting over it? Especially the random before bed freakouts or nightmares.
 

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I remember when I was about 10 I had a fear that I would just stop breathing. I didn't have any lung problems that I knew of because doctors never brought anything of the sort up, but this fear basically came out of nowhere. It lasted for a few months. And I think that all the fear actually made my chest feel tight. It was all psychological. It was the cause of so many stupid situations that I can't help but shudder at now at how pathetic it was.

I don't know if this issue of mine counts though in this thread.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I don't know if this issue of mine counts though in this thread.
That sounds similar for sure, did you become anxious when seeing other struggle to breathe, or maybe like breathing loudly, as well? What made it go away?
 

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Any thoughts on getting over it? Especially the random before bed freakouts or nightmares.
No...I wish I could be more helpful than providing a theory.

I know from your posts, there is a theme about being out of control. I think there is a root there to work on. Likely, professionally. I'm sorry these are thoughts you have to contend with and I hope you do find greater help.
 

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That sounds similar for sure, did you become anxious when seeing other struggle to breathe, or maybe like breathing loudly, as well? What made it go away?
No, I don't think the fear came about from seeing others in that state, I really don't recall how it started. Perhaps it could have came about after I had a bad cold with congestion, that seems valid and likely.
And I'm sorry that I can't exactly remember what got me over it. I think after a while I realized how unrealistic I was being, since, as I said, as far as I knew I was healthy in that regard.
It was probably that and feeling guilty about what this "stupidity" was doing to me. The worst experience was this one night where my brother and I were sleeping over at my grandparents apartment since my parents had gone out to a concert. I had trouble falling alseep because of this fear, and at about 2:00 in the morning I absolutely had to contact my parents because I was in such a frantic state. Needless to say, I felt bad that I had to contact them at that hour and have them drive over after a damn long night out to come get my for such a silly reason. That's probably what drove me out of that phase.
I'm sorry. I'm not much help. But it's not like your fear is stupid. Pregnancy is damn scary.
 

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La Vie En Rose
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I don't feel quite as intense as you about pregnancy but I have long realized I am one of the rare females I've encountered in person who doesn't look forward to pregnancy. I want a kid one day but the idea of pregnancy is somewhat traumatic to me. There's nothing amazing about getting possible morning sickness and waking up every day with nausea for months on end. There's nothing beautiful to me about getting a larger belly, more stretch marks, swollen ankles, having to pee frequently, etc. It's traumatic thinking about all the potential complications that can arise that may jeopardize your health or life, the possibility of the vagina tearing from the baby coming out, the pain associated with it, the possibility of getting paralyzed or chronic pain from getting an epidural to mitigate labour pains.

I don't get the whole point of having your own kid when there are plenty of kids to adopt who would love having a family. Blood doesn't equate to family.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I don't feel quite as intense as you about pregnancy but I have long realized I am one of the rare females I've encountered in person who doesn't look forward to pregnancy. I want a kid one day but the idea of pregnancy is somewhat traumatic to me. There's nothing amazing about getting possible morning sickness and waking up every day with nausea for months on end. There's nothing beautiful to me about getting a larger belly, more stretch marks, swollen ankles, having to pee frequently, etc. It's traumatic thinking about all the potential complications that can arise that may jeopardize your health or life, the possibility of the vagina tearing from the baby coming out, the pain associated with it, the possibility of getting paralyzed or chronic pain from getting an epidural to mitigate labour pains.

I don't get the whole point of having your own kid when there are plenty of kids to adopt who would love having a family. Blood doesn't equate to family.
Oh yeah, it's an awful, painful, disgusting thing and no human should ever go through it. Even if I manage to get over this anxiety/"phobia" I'll still never want to be pregnant. I'm not trying to get myself to want to be pregnant, I just want to not be irrationally afraid of it (ie. when I'm not sexually active, have access to bc and abortion, and live in a country with fine doctors, there's no reason for me to feel sudden anxiety thinking about it out of nowhere)
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I want to rip my uterus out and renounce my womanhood.

Anyway, this really isn't about the choice to become pregnant or not, I'm actually completely comfortable with that. It's about the weird and irrational anxiety I have about my body's ability to become pregnant, regardless of whether I decide to use it that way.
 

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Discussion Starter #17

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No...I wish I could be more helpful than providing a theory.

I know from your posts, there is a theme about being out of control. I think there is a root there to work on. Likely, professionally. I'm sorry these are thoughts you have to contend with and I hope you do find greater help.
While this is true and I know I have issues with feeling like life isn't in my control, this particular issue is something that really is in my control so I'm not sure that's what I'm feeling. I know all the ways that I can control, I feel pretty damn sure that if anything happened inside me I have the power to stop it. That's what makes this such a weird fear and I honestly can't understand it, because it's a fear that could never materialize. I know I will never in my life have a pregnant belly with a kicking baby inside, yet that's exactly what I imagine and cringe about or have nightmares about. It deeply upsets me to know that my body has this potential despite knowing that I'll never do it.
 

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While this is true and I know I have issues with feeling like life isn't in my control, this particular issue is something that really is in my control so I'm not sure that's what I'm feeling. I know all the ways that I can control, I feel pretty damn sure that if anything happened inside me I have the power to stop it. That's what makes this such a weird fear and I honestly can't understand it, because it's a fear that could never materialize. I know I will never in my life have a pregnant belly with a kicking baby inside, yet that's exactly what I imagine and cringe about or have nightmares about. It deeply upsets me to know that my body has this potential despite knowing that I'll never do it.
Pregnancy is something that you "think" you can control, but there are only a couple ways of being 100% sure. One is abstinence. The second is surgical sterilization, i.e. tubal ligation.

And I think both of those steps are likely in conflict with your actual desires...thus leaving pregnancy something potentially beyond your control.

As you said, your body does have the potential.
 
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