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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I am going to :

Decide that I want it (love) more THAN I am afraid of it.

Does anyone feel that the more a guy likes you, the more nervous you become? I really want to be liked, but then I don't want to be liked because it makes me nervous! SIGH


I think we just worry too much. Why can't we just have fun and soak up the feelings of love? Just be nervous, be happy, we are human and we are alive, we make mistakes. We make a fool out of ourselves, SO WHAT. Focus on getting what we want instead of focusing on being afraid.

Coz the feelings of love... are the best feelings in the world.


I think the problem is that I am so afraid that he will stop liking me. (coz I come across and overly nervous) Or he'll find out that I'm not the girl he wants to be friends with after all. I'm just putting so much pressure on myself to make this work. With other things, i don't really care as much honestly. And the stuff i don't care about, they seem to work out for me!

I have to get myself into this mindset of not caring whether or not this works out. (but i do still want him to like me- as that helps me get a long with people)
 

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That;s a good attitude. Problem is i don't seem to 'want' things enough. but yes you're right the amount of wanting we experience is often the limiting factor in what we end up doing/accomplishing.

if you want something enough, the rest tends to work itself out.
 

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That;s a good attitude. Problem is i don't seem to 'want' things enough. but yes you're right the amount of wanting we experience is often the limiting factor in what we end up doing/accomplishing.

if you want something enough, the rest tends to work itself out.
It's still hard work because it's an everyday thing. Unfortunately nothing worth having comes easy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think maybe we should focus on the end goal - that is feeling loved and being happy. Life is too short to focus on how we come across to others, will he stop liking me, do I look silly, weird, ugly, I look too tense and serious, I said something wrong, etc.

If I died tomorrow (touch wood), I wouldn't want to regret that all I was focusing on was silly stuff. I would want to be enjoying the moment.

The problem is when he looks at me, I get all self-conscious! (and then I can't enjoy the moment) SIGH... I need to think about something else but all I can think about is him.
 

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I think even non-SA people struggle with this when they are interested in someone. Just realize it gets easier the more you get to know someone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
The plus side of all this is that I haven't felt this alive in a while. Also, I haven't really felt that I could really care about someone. Usually it's all about me.

What I am afraid of is that when he looks at me, I get all self-conscious and then the focus is on me and I start to think about how I silly I look and how I am going to mess up.

I have to get myself into that mindset and think that it's ok to be silly. But at the moment, I can't seem to!
 
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