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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Often, I I distance myself from others who appear to be very much like myself. When I'm out in public and I recognize someone like myself, I try my best to avoid them because it is too painful and uncomfortable to see such a reflection of myself in someone else. I fear that others will think that I'm friends with that "weird socially awkward" person because I'm just like them. I hate being grouped into things, especially something like that. It's ironic though that I often have a much easier time becoming friends with awkward people, as that is one of the few times that I feel more confident than the other person and I'm able to actually communicate. However, I never truly make myself friends with such people because I would hate what others would think if I were to hang out with someone like that. Anyone else have a similar problem?
 

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Often, I I distance myself from others who appear to be very much like myself. When I'm out in public and I recognize someone like myself, I try my best to avoid them because it is too painful and uncomfortable to see such a reflection of myself in someone else. I fear that others will think that I'm friends with that "weird socially awkward" person because I'm just like them. I hate being grouped into things, especially something like that. It's ironic though that I often have a much easier time becoming friends with awkward people, as that is one of the few times that I feel more confident than the other person and I'm able to actually communicate. However, I never truly make myself friends with such people because I would hate what others would think if I were to hang out with someone like that. Anyone else have a similar problem?
I actually find other shy people are hard to talk to. Their barriers are too hard to break down. On the other hand the overly social "look at me types" are also a no-no.

So i always have to find the nice people, that will talk to people, but not in a pushy or in your face kind of way.

Its weird, but i have to be careful who i get to know. More often than not, a few months/years down the line, i find out what these people are really like. And then i start to avoid them.

I haven't been out for ages though. When i do, at least i know what kind of personality i am looking for. Its just hard waiting to see or getting to know other peoples true selves.
 

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I like shy people. They are so demure and polite and you have to treat them with care. If you win their trust (it takes time) they will be very faithful friends and that is something to treasure.

There's nothing wrong with hanging out with shy people!
 

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Yeah, in school i hang out mostly with very very shy and quiet people, but i don't think i will ever really be friends with them. I can't make the first step and they're not gonna do it either.
So, i like shy people, but they also make me anxious sometimes, because i can never tell what they think about me. The loud outspoken kind of people don't intimidate me that much.
 

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because i can never tell what they think about me.
And that's why I like that.

Lets you both enjoy the moment and think about how, differences aside, you two are friends. It just takes a little more encouragement and patience - take it as a challenge. Since they are shy, they will need you, too! Even if they don't say it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
i like shy people, but they also make me anxious sometimes
I can certainly empathize with that especially when I'm dealing with really shy people who speak super fast or mumble their words, or doing any other obviously awkward thing. It just makes me very uncomfortable.

Oh, there's one other caveat to me having an easier time of dealing with shy people than regular people and that's shy girls. I only talk to girls that initiate the conversation with me and never when I have to start the conversation. And very shy girls practically never start conversations, so naturally I never talk to them. I think that's one reason it's highly unlikely for two SA people to get together and have a romantic relationship.
 

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I would be the evil mistress and put you two together and do something like. Look, you have a new sister, isn't she Cute!? Why don't you go bring her out shopping!

^ Yeh you need friends like me who are fun, to counteract your shyness. Problem solved :)
 

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If the person is more the shy, has SA issues. them I'm very relaxed around that person once the ice has been broken. It's like we can both relate to each other and be calm in silence.


However, people that talk a whole lot seem to be the people I bind best with. I'm more of listener then a talker. People that talk a lot seem to enjoy people with SA as they have someone that will listen to them talk. Most non SA people won't listen and want to cut them off in mid conversation.
 

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If the person is more the shy, has SA issues. them I'm very relaxed around that person once the ice has been broken. It's like we can both relate to each other and be calm in silence.

However, people that talk a whole lot seem to be the people I bind best with. I'm more of listener then a talker. People that talk a lot seem to enjoy people with SA as they have someone that will listen to them talk. Most non SA people won't listen and want to cut them off in mid conversation.
I'm an exeption. I can talk and listen aswell. I have bad social anxiety, with the bizarre ability to communicate well.

:| I never feel like i fit in with people, because i talk to much for shy people, and not enough for outgoing people.
 

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I'm a bit mixed on that one.

Seeing other shy people around makes me feel more confident because they aren't that confident either ya know. It's a little frustrating when I get grouped with shy people because I have to do all the talking and that makes me feel uncomfortable, but then again it is a chance for me to speak up and take a leadership role.

So I dunno I feel much more at ease with confident talkative people and I'm much more likely to be friends with someone like that...but I do have some quieter friends, that I feel awkward around, too.
 

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I believe that can be considered a healthy reaction, if you really hate or dislike something about yourself you will naturally distance yourself from people who obtain those traits as well.

Me however, I like shy people.
 

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When I meet people who are more anxious or shy than I am, I feel a bit superior and more confident, so I don't find it hard to talk to them. Even in class groups, if the people in my group seem shy I will take the initiative and pretty much be the leader. :\
 

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I don't think I'm as obviously shy as some people I've known it's just the anxiety that hurts alot. I remember when I was younger there was a girl in my dancing class who was extremely shy and extremely tense, I could tell it was hard for her to even form words. There were probably other issues there as well. I sympathised with her but at the same time, and I sound like the biggest ***** in the world saying this, but I hated when I got paired up with her because I thought it's because I'm seen to be like her. And I didn't want to be like her. And yes I found it hard to talk to her and to put so much effort into leading the conversation.
 

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I was always friends with the geeks/weirdos throughout school. They don't bother me, and I get along great.

Surprisingly, I haven't met many other shy people. The ones I have, they appear to be annoyed, and give out a 'leave me alone' aura (now I know how others feel). So, I usually avoid them or leave it to them to initiate anything, if ever.
 

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What? Who are you talking to?
...feel like I'm being hypnotized...
the shy girl in your story.

It's rewarding playing a leadership role for a shy person because you know that if you don't look out for her, other people might not be so kind. They might not speak to you but make very good listeners and companions.

and no i wouldn't do anything to you :)
 

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I'm a bit mixed on that one.

Seeing other shy people around makes me feel more confident because they aren't that confident either ya know. It's a little frustrating when I get grouped with shy people because I have to do all the talking and that makes me feel uncomfortable, but then again it is a chance for me to speak up and take a leadership role.

So I dunno I feel much more at ease with confident talkative people and I'm much more likely to be friends with someone like that...but I do have some quieter friends, that I feel awkward around, too.
Me too. Ironically, I become confidant when I'm the more talkative one.
 

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I tend to get on best with outgoing people, just because they're outgoing and thus easy to talk to (duh). However, after that I find shy people are the easiest. They may not have the same skills to make conversation flow naturally, but at least they appreciate the attention and put in the effort to keep the conversation going. The only problem is, someone eventually has to push things to the next level, which makes it hard. People in the middle tend to be the worst. It's like they're shy enough that they get uncomfortable talking to people with SA, but outgoing enough that they don't really feel the need to try.
 
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