· Chief Worrier
i'm terrified of people leaving me, and i always blame myself when they do. how do others deal with this?
i tend to cling to people because i'm afraid they will leave me...I don't know how you should deal with it but doing the opposite of what I do would be a start. I either push people away at the first sign of stress in the relationship so I don't end up being abandoned by someone I care about (whether they are actually going to abandon me or not) or if I do end up being abandoned by someone I either turn to booze or cigarettes or something likewise unhealthy or I try to supress the hurt and not deal with it which just makes it worse later on.
Yeah, so don't do any of those things. They just make everything worse.
which probably results in them actually leaving, right?i tend to cling to people because i'm afraid they will leave me...
Do you think the clinginess ends up backfiring because they feel smothered? I think it depends on the person I guess. I don't really like someone who is too clingy friend-wise but I kind of find it to be a positive trait in a girlfriend, in certain doses. Most people including myself do need their freedom and alone time but so long as I get a little of that I like a girl that is clingy.i tend to cling to people because i'm afraid they will leave me...
tigerlilly, like you I'm afraid of losing people. I think I may have lost some friends too because I was too clingy and scared them off. Now I'm like the anti-clingy but that makes me too distant. Now I'm too scared to even be slightly clingy due to fear of losing someone. So like, I don't have anyone cause I'm afraid anything I do will scare them off. I can't figure out a middleground. I'm not really sure if that made much sense, but yeh.Do you think the clinginess ends up backfiring because they feel smothered? I think it depends on the person I guess. I don't really like someone who is too clingy friend-wise but I kind of find it to be a positive trait in a girlfriend, in certain doses. Most people including myself do need their freedom and alone time but so long as I get a little of that I like a girl that is clingy.
Where do you think your abandonment issues come from? I suffer from similar issues a lot because a lot of my close friends have drifted away from me in recent years and usually don't include me in when they hanging out or whatever.
I know it isn't, i was just suggesting looking beyond the social anxiety disorder. By the way, social anxiety disorder is 100% a SYMPTOM of something else. My biggest mistake was to get treated for Social Anxiety Disorder without digging further to what caused this. After successfully being treated for SA, all of my other issues didn't just disappear. I still had a highly addictive personality, i still had mood swings and i still had interpersonal relationship issues. Later, i was diagnosed with having Bipolar Disorder and yet again it was a mistake to think the buck stopped there. Both SA and BP disorder are now under control and i still found myself with issues effecting my life. Not until reading about personality disorders (have to thank my BPD exgirlfriend for that) did I stumble upon the root cause of most mental health problems which was Ego wounds. I have some significant Narcissistic wounds from childhood. This, in my opinion, led me to the plethora of mental health issues that I have today.that's not the only thing that causes it... thanks, but i'm pretty sure i don't have BPD.