Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,847 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Obviously I am a "very shy" person in other's people eye's. Last night I went to a party and drank more than I usually do (probably 12-13 drinks in 4 hours). I was pretty anxiety-free but also pretty bold/possibly stupid. All these people that I "know" from campus (but they don't really know me because I never show them personality) I was interacting with in a very talkative, more aggressive, and maybe stupid manner. I was even hugging a lot of girls and getting really close face to face with them.

Now it's the next day and I am embarrassed and I will be embarrassed whenever I see these girls next (sober). It would be nice to think they were really drunk too, but idk.

I just figured out my real fear is seeing them when we're both sober and then going back to my "very shy" personality... that's the embarrassing part. It's like they got a glimpse of the real me, except that it was mixed with stupid/uncool behavior.

advice?

I've never been filled with so many negative/positive emotions, particularly due to all of the close interaction with extremely attractive girls. Should I do it again tonight?!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
779 Posts
Noooo, don't be embarrassed of acting all crazy! Just laugh about it and say things like, "So what DID I do that night? I can hardly remember, but I sure did have a great time with you guys, we should do it again!!" If they thought you were a lot of fun, they'll invite you out again and you can drink/party again.. and soon you won't need the alcohol, you'll become comfortable with them and regularly show your personality.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,847 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Noooo, don't be embarrassed of acting all crazy! Just laugh about it and say things like, "So what DID I do that night? I can hardly remember, but I sure did have a great time with you guys, we should do it again!!" If they thought you were a lot of fun, they'll invite you out again and you can drink/party again.. and soon you won't need the alcohol, you'll become comfortable with them and regularly show your personality.
Thanks, didn't think about that. I always try to play it off like I wasn't that drunk and I remember everything I did, which I usually do. This way it makes me less vulnerable and it shows that I can be crazy without being really drunk.

p.s. I now put more stock in GABAergics! I want phenibut really bad now, because it won't make me act so stupid.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
779 Posts
Thanks, didn't think about that. I always try to play it off like I wasn't that drunk and I remember everything I did, which I usually do. This way it makes me less vulnerable and it shows that I can be crazy without being really drunk.

p.s. I now put more stock in GABAergics! I want phenibut really bad now, because it won't make me act so stupid.
Hm, well you could do that too but either way just don't be embarrassed and definitely tell them you had a great time and that you want to do it again. Maybe they'll get to think you're only quiet at school because you're stressed out or concentrating on school. Then they'll think the real you is someone who likes to let loose, and you can use that to your advantage.. first with alcohol then without (I feel like I"m promoting alcohol but it really did help me..)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
For starters drinking is horrible for people who have anxiety (I know from experience). I used to drink, A LOT until about 6 months ago (I'm only 22). I hated the day after feeling of "Omg I can't believe I said that" & replaying it all in my head. Whether they remember anything or not, which I doubt, it is how you feel about drinking. I keep everything to myself & when I drink I just let it all out & say eff it! & I think I am funny but in reality I am being a jerk & letting little things that have been bugging me blow way out of proportion. I just suggestion a pro & cons list of drinking. I chose it wasn't for me & I have been the happiest these past few months than since before I started drinking. I might be shy, I may not say a lot in social settings, but at least when I am talking I am coherent lol!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,847 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
For starters drinking is horrible for people who have anxiety (I know from experience). I used to drink, A LOT until about 6 months ago (I'm only 22). I hated the day after feeling of "Omg I can't believe I said that" & replaying it all in my head. Whether they remember anything or not, which I doubt, it is how you feel about drinking. I keep everything to myself & when I drink I just let it all out & say eff it! & I think I am funny but in reality I am being a jerk & letting little things that have been bugging me blow way out of proportion. I just suggestion a pro & cons list of drinking. I chose it wasn't for me & I have been the happiest these past few months than since before I started drinking. I might be shy, I may not say a lot in social settings, but at least when I am talking I am coherent lol!
I know what you mean. I think I do that too but not as bad as you (I hope, but who knows :| ). I think that I'm a cool person, but when I drink a lot I become a "loser". Do you know what I mean?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,322 Posts
I can relate to being embarrassed about revealing a different personality when drunk. Just remember that everyone loosens up and does stupid things when drunk.

However, when you've been sandwiched between two guys dirty dancing in the middle of a dance floor, come talk to me about being embarrassed. :/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,798 Posts
The same sort of thing has happened to me. When I drink my SA pretty much goes away and I get talkative and affectionate.

Some years ago I bumped into a group of girls from work at a club and ended up drinking and dancing with them, hugging and whatnot. The next day at work they were looking at me and giggling, but in a friendly way.

After they saw the bubbly, cheery, tipsy "me" it seemed to put them at ease even though during the day I was still my somewhat awkward, quiet self. I ended up getting in with their group of guys and girls and had a great time that summer.

Assuming that drink has the same effect on you that it does on me, and you didn't do anything really obnoxious, I think it was overall a good thing. The girls will probably be more comfortable and familiar around you and you will make friends and maybe even get a girlfriend out of it.

The thing to be careful of is not getting too dependant on alchol and not drinking to the point where you're getting completely drunk and forgetting what you did, etc...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
270 Posts
forget about it. the silent, non-drinking types are usually more likely to be rememberd as the "partykillers", and they'll probably be bullied for it

think of the wildest college flat partys. even the drunkest guy, who pisses and vomits in the bathtub upstairs, will be invited next time without a doubt. nobody cares
 

·
Meek
Joined
·
447 Posts
Laugh it off Prof...almost everyone is much louder/more forward/less cool :lol when drunk so those girls wont think anything of it if you're quieter when they meet you next. Yes, do it again if you like - but try and drink a bit less this time cos 12 drinks a night is no habit to get into. Maybe have a 6 drink max and see how you feel?

And learn from the mistakes you made this time - if you feel you were acting stupid then just bear this in mind before you go out - if I do this I find I manage to watch my tongue better no matter how drunk I get.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,798 Posts
Reading the replies to this post, it's occurred to me that the best way to find out if alcohol is a plus or a minus for you is to videotape some of your outings.

If it looks like a cheery, fun time when you view it sober, you're ok.

If you look completely drunk and can't talk or walk straight, it's time to either cut back or quit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
629 Posts
Everytime I've got drunk at a party I've made a fool of myself, the guilt/embarrasment I feel the next day is unbearable, and I'm always the quickest to get drunk at the party. I don't get it really, I go to parties to have a good time and drink alot, but when I'm there people seem to not drink as much as they say they do or they don't want to drink with me.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,393 Posts
Obviously I am a "very shy" person in other's people eye's. Last night I went to a party and drank more than I usually do (probably 12-13 drinks in 4 hours). I was pretty anxiety-free but also pretty bold/possibly stupid. All these people that I "know" from campus (but they don't really know me because I never show them personality) I was interacting with in a very talkative, more aggressive, and maybe stupid manner. I was even hugging a lot of girls and getting really close face to face with them.

Now it's the next day and I am embarrassed and I will be embarrassed whenever I see these girls next (sober). It would be nice to think they were really drunk too, but idk.

I just figured out my real fear is seeing them when we're both sober and then going back to my "very shy" personality... that's the embarrassing part. It's like they got a glimpse of the real me, except that it was mixed with stupid/uncool behavior.

advice?

I've never been filled with so many negative/positive emotions, particularly due to all of the close interaction with extremely attractive girls. Should I do it again tonight?!
i think people expect you to act out in a manner that you would not have sober. thats what drinking is all about really. most people pay no mind to this and are probably cool with it. hell you were hugging on girls thats awesome. i had my pants fall down onetime when i was drunk lol. now the real embarassing thing would be to get a DUI while drinking and driving. thats not good for you, or your family. so avoid that.
 

·
Need a cure
Joined
·
11 Posts
Hi,
last night I started with a tequila shot, didn't really plan a night out though ended up drinking too much and embarrassed about a call i made. I mean this girl will probably not talk to me ever again.
What is really bothering me is the flash backs that come and go from time to time really do cause distress in me and everything gets troublesome.

I tried laughing it off and not really caring about it, i was drunk! Now i'm going to be in that state of mind to avoid the stupid anxiety, embarrassment and the other side effects of alcohol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,645 Posts
Im in the same situation quite often.

I dont have friends so my time of getting drunk is in club's on my own or at home alone. I talk crap to bouncers, try chatting up women im never going to have a chance with, spoke to people I cant stand, or even chat to random people and make up how great and well i'm doing.

On the other end of the spectrum is being annoyed at innocent people enjoying a drink with friends because I was rejected, having a go at someone or trying major rant statuses on facebook, dumped girlfriends because at 2am when I phoned them they said I was drunk, sending a joke about bacon to the police.

It's hard to just shake some of them things off and laugh about them
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top