[styler5]

How do you do it? I can accept it but can't get over with it quickly. I get a mixed feeling of embarrassment, anger, and depression, which are hard to deal with at once.

 

[Infexxion]

Well, simply put, don't take it personally. A lot of people want criticism, but then they feel as if the person criticizing is nit-picking. You can't take it personally. They're just there to tell you what to improve and what's fine.

For example, I like writing. I have people read over my stories. I trust these people to give me both good and negative feedback, because you can always improve, and I know that when they mention something, they are my friend and are just trying to help.

Getting it from a stranger would be a little worse, but unless they have a grudge or seek vengeance, don't worry about it. Focus on what they said they should do, and ask them for advice. How to improve what was wrong, etc. Often your weakest area is their best.

 

[Moon Fire]

Also it depends on who is criticising you. I find good feedback from those qualified to be critical of things I do. It can help you to improve on your skill and try again. Not all of it's fair but don't take it to heart. Some people that are not qualified may be critical in a way that they choose the wrong words but often don't mean to hurt. Some are very rude, especially those on sites such as Elfwood but they aren't being critical, just spiteful and mean. You need to understand who and why someone is critical and listen carefully to what they say.

 

[tutliputli]

If someone I care about criticises me, I instantly feel like a terrible, worthless person and I withdraw into myself. I know this isn't the right way to react, but it's automatic, it just happens and I have no control over it. I usually blush and more often than not, cry. I'm always hypersensitive to criticism, I think that's part and parcel of having very low self-esteem. I'm easily upset at the first sign of conflict/ confrontation/ criticism. I would like to change this but have no idea how.

 

[radames]

I usually have a quick retort to the criticism because I have pretty much heard all of it before and have thought of the particular method that person is suggesting. It is completely in our own power to take the criticism and use it in a constructive manner, or to ignore it and approach it in the way we think is best.

Of course it slightly stings when I am criticized but I have gotten better at being able to take it. I think it is actually the person that criticizes me who feels worse for doing it rather than me feeling worse for receiving it. I think this is because I exude such an air of confidence and authority that they feel awkward giving it to me. Life has been tough for me and I have learned an insane amount of things mostly the hard way and there is a vast amount I have yet to learn. I constantly try to find new ways to learn things and stretch my perception and perspective, refine my character and change things that I feel could be different about myself.

 

[danstelter]

Criticism is hard for us SA people to take because we are usually so critical of ourselves and when we hear the criticism from someone else, that seems to verify that our critical thoughts of ourselves were in fact true. What helps me is to instead challenge myself to think that either 1) the person criticizing me is completely full of **** and does not know what they are talking about (which might be the case) or 2) the person had a valid point, everyone makes mistakes, and its okay for me to mistake too even though I have a hard time when I do. I believe that, after some months or years practicing at this, I can get myself to a better place where I can handle the criticism without getting so angry or disappointed with myself, and I think that this method will work for everyone to varying degrees.

 

[MissSA]

I normally take criticism as a personal attack. My mom was verbally abusive and criticized me a lot so maybe that is why I can't take criticism without thinking that a person has something against me.

 

[bobthebuilder]

Depends. If its from somebody whos opinion i value on the subject, and its constructive, I like it and try to fix it. If its from somebody i dont particularly like, and i dont agree with the criticism i get angry and point out how they are wrong. However, if somebody points out a flaw that i am completely unaware of, it hits me like a truck and i dwell on it all day.

 

[Redefine]

Criticism is hard for us SA people to take because we are usually so critical of ourselves and when we hear the criticism from someone else, that seems to verify that our critical thoughts of ourselves were in fact true. What helps me is to instead challenge myself to think that either 1) the person criticizing me is completely full of **** and does not know what they are talking about (which might be the case) or 2) the person had a valid point, everyone makes mistakes, and its okay for me to mistake too even though I have a hard time when I do. I believe that, after some months or years practicing at this, I can get myself to a better place where I can handle the criticism without getting so angry or disappointed with myself, and I think that this method will work for everyone to varying degrees.

Agreed. Criticism is really neutral if you think about it. We are the ones who put the negative spin on it in our heads. It's all in how we interpret the criticism.

Why should other's opinions about us matter more than our own opinions?

 

[BeachGaBulldog]

I don't deal well with criticism and never have, despite trying to work on it. I know its because I was verbally dumped on by so many people growing up, and just got fed up with it.

 

[Cait Sith]

when i get criticised i try to remind myself that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" as the saying goes. what some may dislike about me others may like. I cannot please them all. No matter how hard i try not everyone will like me so i should stop trying to please everybody. This is the concept im trying to drum into my head at the moment when dealing with criticism.

 

[bowlingpins]

It is hard to deal with criticism even for people without SA. It is much harder for people with SA though with the way the brain is wired. I have read literature which found that peple with SA tend to focus on negative expressions (angry faces for example) much more closely than positive expressions (happy faces) compared to controls.
I am trying to grow a thicker skin myself, though I don't have a solution on how to do this yet. I suppose one way that could work is to put yourself consistently through uncomfortable situations where you maybe judged negatively (even if you only feel that you are being judged negatively). With enough such experiences, you should reach a point where criticism doesn't bother you. I know this works for people without SA because I have read stories of such people (first hand accounts, not scientifically credible evidence but I think they are good enough) . It most likely works for people with SA too.

 

[whatev133]

For me, there are varying kinds of criticism. I'm a graphic design student, so I am criticized ALL the time about my work. At first, I would get a tad upset if someone did not like my ideas, but I have gotten so much better. As long as the criticism stays about my work, I can take it, but...if it is something about my social life or about my personality I get hurt very easily.

 

[VCL XI]

I can't deal with it at all. Makes me literally sick with anger even if the person has a point. As far as art criticism goes, I always have a problem with people who judge things as crap or worthless, just because they don't personally like them.