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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i would love to be comfortable dancing. right now its such a horror for me. i cant look people in the eyes while doing it either.

ive thought abotu taking lessons, that way at least i know what im doing. ive never danced. i avoided dances in hs and at the few parties i went to id just stay off the floor.

once at a wedding my mom made me dance with my brother and then some childhood friend and it was really uncomfortable

but id like to be able to let loose and just dance and have fun. itd make going out easier. itd even make those car rides with friends fun because sometimes they dance to music in their seats and i just sit there feeling awkward.
 

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maybe you could try dancing when no one's watching, like in your room or something just to practice. It might be help you ease into dancing when there's other people around. Lessons sound like a good idea to try too.
 

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I don't see how you really need skills to dance at college parties. Everybody just bends their knees at the rhythm of the music, and occasionally a guy and a girl will lock bodies together. I'm too embarrassed to do that, but with enough alcohol I'm willing to give in.

However, I've had friends in the past tell me to go dance with "that girl" (they point with their finger), and no matter how intoxicated I am, I can't because I don't know them. Something about that scares me a lot. I have done it once my freshman year, only because my friend introduced me to a couple girls, and I'd look like a jerk if I just left there. Then I was asked to dance with one of the girls, and it was the worst 3 minutes of the night. Has anyone had any similar experiences like this? (not being forced to dance with a girl, but the fear of dancing with a girl you don't know, no matter how much alcohol you have in yourself)

Edit: I'm assuming you're in college, or you go to parties where people dance with loud music and alcohol
 

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I don't think your problem is knowing how to dance, but it is more of a confidence problem. If you have confidence then it won't matter if you know how to dance or not because you will go out there and just have fun.
 

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I've been very involved with dancing for a year now. (take lessons and go to dances almost every day). It can be a lot of fun, and you can meet some great people. I love it! however, you don't really talk much when you dance, and most social dances are just that, social dances where people go and dance, and since you don't talk while dancing with someone, cause dancing is difficult, and your both focused on the moves, and leading and following, its been hard for dancing to be particulariliy helpful for making new friends. which is unfortunate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't see how you really need skills to dance at college parties. Everybody just bends their knees at the rhythm of the music, and occasionally a guy and a girl will lock bodies together. I'm too embarrassed to do that, but with enough alcohol I'm willing to give in.

However, I've had friends in the past tell me to go dance with "that girl" (they point with their finger), and no matter how intoxicated I am, I can't because I don't know them. Something about that scares me a lot. I have done it once my freshman year, only because my friend introduced me to a couple girls, and I'd look like a jerk if I just left there. Then I was asked to dance with one of the girls, and it was the worst 3 minutes of the night. Has anyone had any similar experiences like this? (not being forced to dance with a girl, but the fear of dancing with a girl you don't know, no matter how much alcohol you have in yourself)

Edit: I'm assuming you're in college, or you go to parties where people dance with loud music and alcohol
im in college but i dont go to parties. im talking more about if im at a wedding or osmething id like to be more familiar with dances.

and it is a confidence problem. but i think knowing what i was doing would help my confidence a little too..

i will practice in my room occasionally but not for a few minutes because even then i get embarrassed, even though no one is watching lol
 

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Just curious: Why do you get embarrassed when no one is watching? Do you feel silly and ridiculous?

Push yourself through the embarrassment when you are dancing by yourself in your room. Just keep doing it over and over and your embarrassment might ease. Watch youtube videos that demonstrate dancing...there are TONS of them! Practice along. Since you're a girl, just remember that the guy has to take the lead anyways (in partner dancing that is). If he is not leading you very well, he's probably not a good dancer himself, ha! So don't blame yourself entirely if it doesn't go well. There are a lot of bad dancers out there who are very social and outgoing. I am not at all saying that you're bad, just that there are bad dancers out there with huge social networks (I've seen them). In fact, you may be very good if you give yourself a chance and work on it instead of avoiding it.
 

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This topic brings back bad memories from my highschool phys-ed class when we had a dancing unit we were forced to complete. Those are horrible memories that will burned into my brain forever >< . Line dancing, the electric slide, disco, polka. I swear the teachers did it for their own amusement...heh.
 

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This topic brings back bad memories from my highschool phys-ed class when we had a dancing unit we were forced to complete. Those are horrible memories that will burned into my brain forever >< . Line dancing, the electric slide, disco, polka. I swear the teachers did it for their own amusement...heh.
LOL... omg. I'd die.

I wish I could dance. I want to dance at a party but I don't think I'd ever do it. I've practiced alone and I think it's so embarrassing, even alone. Prior to that I've literally never danced at all. It's just not what I do... =(
 

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Dancing is my absolute worst fear. Nothing triggers my SA like dancing does. About a year ago, I couldn't even dance alone because i would just naturally feel nervous. The biggest thing I dread is going to prom and thats over a year away. I hope to god i can conquer SA before that. Just today in my a cappella rehearsal (this is about the limit of what I force myself into) someone brought a recording of the song we were going to sing. Someone next to me started getting into it a little bit and I tensed up so badly I thought I was going to have a panic attack (ive only had 3 in my life). The saddest thing is, lately I have finally gotten over the fear of dancing by myself and I think im not bad. I actually kinda like it. If there was some way i could lose myself in the music easier, i think i could learn to dance in public.

anyway, thats the trick to dancing. lose yourself in the music. focus totally and 100% on the beat. in private, once you get relaxed enough, you can feel the music in your body, and almost anything you do looks cool.

People who dance think its so easy to dance. They don't understand that for someone with SA, its so much harder to get in the groove.
 

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Learning how to dance will be a good thing, but just remember that even if you can't dance, people will respect you as long as you're trying and having a good time doing it.
 

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Im pretty sure that casual dancing like at a school dance or at a wedding is 90% based on confidence. Even if you make up the weirdest dance moves, as long as you look confident, people will admire you.
 
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