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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, so I just talked to someone I like today. I had asked this person out a month ago, but life got crazy and we never went out on a date. Eventually, we talked and agreed to be just "friends"...well, today I had to interact with them and it was going good and all, but of COURSE I said something stupid and embarrassing (it didn't even make sense). Like, I had a point..but my words kinda got jumbled up and everything, and it was a stupid comment to begin with. The person never responded, they just looked. We chatted like maybe a minute after that, said bye and that was that.

So basically, the anxiety and regret over what happened is crippling me. I know it's stupid, but this is what my SA does to me. I'm in full blown panic mode and can't stop. I just REALLY needed a good interaction with this person today and I feel I didn't have one. I will be overanalyzing and replaying this in my head for a very long time now and feeling absolutely miserable about it. Next time I actually see this person will probably be in a couple months. And I doubt I'll have much interaction with them in between now and then.

I need help...like professional help. What I'm going through now happens to me way too often in life..And not with just people I have feelings for either.. Sorry this got so long, but I had to write this out. Any feedback/help/tips/similar experiences are certainly welcome.
 

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I hate when I embarrass myself and keep replaying it over and over in my head. You wish you could redo it all over again and say things a bit differently and avoid embarrassing yourself. Like the other day I was talking to this guy that I really like at work and for some reason the word accurate came out like asscrept. I turned red instantly and almost barfed on his shoes. I couldn't stop thinking about it and it just ruined my whole day. I'll be honest it still is keeping me up at night.

Anyways, the best thing I've found to do is think of a situation that turned out well, or something you had to overcome and was successful. Like, I hate making small talk. So to redeem myself from my word vomit I made it a point to make small talk with a stranger that day. Just to give me something else to focus on. And give me a new successful conversation to obsess over and replay over and over in my head. This is just something that helps me, good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
^lol, pills do sound tempting. However, I don't feel that I am in need of medication. When I said I needed professional help, I just meant someone to talk to about it... I am going to try some natural anxiety pills that my health food store sells though.
 

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I think you are putting too much value on this interaction with this person which is not healthy.

I'd recommend you to be more accepting of those anxiety emotions, realize that you are more valuable than any interaction is and that try to ignore your mind from trying to give you a bad time from a bad interaction.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I hate when I embarrass myself and keep replaying it over and over in my head. You wish you could redo it all over again and say things a bit differently and avoid embarrassing yourself. Like the other day I was talking to this guy that I really like at work and for some reason the word accurate came out like asscrept. I turned red instantly and almost barfed on his shoes. I couldn't stop thinking about it and it just ruined my whole day. I'll be honest it still is keeping me up at night.

Anyways, the best thing I've found to do is think of a situation that turned out well, or something you had to overcome and was successful. Like, I hate making small talk. So to redeem myself from my word vomit I made it a point to make small talk with a stranger that day. Just to give me something else to focus on. And give me a new successful conversation to obsess over and replay over and over in my head. This is just something that helps me, good luck!
See, that's me too! It ruins not only my whole day but future days as well. And it can keep me up too. Or I'll fall asleep and then wake up the next day feeling like I got run over by an anxiety semi. It sucks.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about this and I could't even remember exactly what I said that I felt was so embarrassing, so I realized that I was being incredibly ridiculous. Still, I don't feel better about this right now. I'm not cutting this person out of my life, but they are someone that I am trying to get over and move on from. Seeing/talking to them yesterday was such a huge setback. So yeah. Is what it is- as usual, I'll just have to deal with it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think you are putting too much value on this interaction with this person which is not healthy.

I'd recommend you to be more accepting of those anxiety emotions, realize that you are more valuable than any interaction is and that try to ignore your mind from trying to give you a bad time from a bad interaction.
You're exactly right. I know it's all 100% in my head. I tell myself that and try to get my mind to stop giving me a bad time about it, but that's something that's very challenging for me and I'm not usually successful. Any tips?
 

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My tip would be to plow through it, consider negative self talk as noise and substitute it with positive self talk.

It won't give you inmediate results, but in the long run it will help you ignore things such as shameless self-beating.
 

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Okay, so I just talked to someone I like today. I had asked this person out a month ago, but life got crazy and we never went out on a date. Eventually, we talked and agreed to be just "friends"
Do you have strong romantic feelings for this person?

You shouldn't try to be friends with someone you're attracted to. Especially, if you feel very lonely. It's creates all kinds of problems.

Maybe if you didn't have feelings for this person you wouldn't be over-analyzing a single conversation.

When it's a regular friend, things said and done don't matter so much. You can easily laugh things off. But when you have feelings for that person, it's another story altogether.
 

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I'm the same. It's so frustrating! ;_;

Something that occasionally helps me is to pour it all out, the entire bad interaction and all that was said and perceived, in writing. Write up a big honking account of it like it's a journal entry or something you intend to post to the forum for others to read. Just get all those negative thoughts and emotions out. Tell yourself you're going to post it to get it out of your system...

...and then save it and close the file and sleep on it. One night, maybe two nights even.

I can't count how many times I've vented and poured my guts out about an interaction that has bothered me and is wearing on my mind, with the full intent to post it publicly, only to set the file aside and decide to sleep on it a night or two before committing to posting it...I often don't post such things at all. But that's okay. The overwhelming emotions dissipate a bit and I'm able to calm down and think a bit more clearly, and hopefully move on to other things.

It isn't foolproof but it's all I've got. :stu
 

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Hey there,
I have pretty much same problems. My interaction is usually terrible especially with someone new. Perhaps its because I try too hard.
Anyways none should judge you by one mistake or sth you blurted out. We all get messed up with words sometimes, whats the big deal?
A lot of us here share this problem with anxiety, interaction and we try to fix it somehow. I used to cry and be depressed for days if I thought I said sth stupid in front of others. But it makes no sense to be angry with yourself for some silly reasons. I think other people, or those without anxiety also say or do stupid things but they just get over it very quickly becasue they have normal level of self-confidence.

Take care!
 
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