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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today I came into my job to find that I'm no longer the "new" person. I thought this would be a good thing. But, already everyone loves the new guy. He's funny and has already started joking around with people. Meanwhile, after a month, I'm still hardly able to speak unless I'm just one-on-one with a co-worker which is really rare. We were all sitting around just having a bit of a chat. This one girl said something funny, and I kind of just gave her a little side-long look, and she said, "Ah, shut-up" jokingly. I said, "Hey, I didn't even say anything." Than another co-worker looks at me and said, "Do you ever?"
:um
I bet this guy has no idea how a little comment like that could affect me for hours. They have no idea how frustrating it is for me at a job that would typically be a great, easy-going position for alot of people. It's unbelievable that a person whose only been there for one day can come in and make more head-way than I have in a whole month. And, honestly, the worst of it is that I know that is what everyone there is also thinking. It doesn't help when people make little off-handed comments.
 

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Be One With the Poo
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Oh man, they just have no idea. Whether it was a joke or not, it strikes a cord. I've fallen victim to little quips and comments ALOT. My friends have gotten into the habit of playfully insulting and picking on each other. Of course during their girly chatter, I remained silent and just smiled instead of laughed like I always do when I don't know what else the hell to do. Then one of them says "Man, (insert name here) is getting on my nerves. She talks to F-ing much!" And then I was put on the spotlight but I turned it back on her with a quip of my own I'd been saving for a while and I got through it safely that day.... THAT day.

But it makes you wonder... "do they talk about the way I act when I'm not around?" or "do they think I'm boring? Will they abandon me?" and its hard to concentrate because the event is playing over and over again in my head. And I'm thinking "I shoulda said this instead" or "I should have spoke up, why didn't I speak up...?" They really have no clue.

I know how it feels to be out-shined by a new addition. It's a ****ty feeling. But you know what, don't let them push you into a corner. Have you tried connecting with this new person? Since you're still fairly new, and they are really new, you can learn to cooperate with each other. That would be good incase your co-workers try to pull a schoolyard labeling.

You have to remember, in a white-collar establishment, the employees are ALWAYS hard on the new people (unless you get lucky). It's their way of testing your limits to see how tough your are. After a few more months they tend to loosen up because they figure you're in it for the long haul if you were able to withstand it. I talked to the instructors at my college and they all told me the same thing.

Just stick it out. You'll be fine. Keep us posted about how things go.
 

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That's terrible.

I know where you are coming from. From a social standpoint, it really shines a light on your problems when you have worked somewhere for a long time and someone new comes in and charms everyone in their first few weeks. It makes you feel like even more of an outcast. Yet I don't think you can hate these people for making the efforts that we don't because of our specific anxieties.

Also it really hurts when someone with a charming personality is thought of better by supervisors even though their work doesn't match yours...when you come in and just do a good job and go home, you are easy to ignore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the comments guys. Today wasn't too bad. The problem with the job is that it is mainly based upon socializing. It's kind of a weird situation that I'm in because this job was actually suggested to me by a friend. This friend has really mild SA and works at this place and she thinks it's just great.

You'd think it would help having her there alot of the time, but it still doesn't really. I can't talk to her normally when there are lots of other people around, it's usually been that way for me. And...it's also kind of weird that I got hired in the first place. When the boss asked my friend what I'm like, she told him straight up that I'm "shy." But, strangely enough I felt really comfortable in the interview and was telling stories and everything. As soon as I was in a room full of ten others, I totally seized. Totally strange.

Anyway, donniedarko, you're right, it's really not the new guys fault. And, I don't hate him at all, he's pretty nice so far. I'm not even wanting to fit in to the point where I'm great friends with everyone, I just want to be respected.

Alot of the people there are a bit younger than me and that's cool. I mean, I usually get along fairly well with teenagers. I just feel like I'm stuck in a high school like atmosphere. Crappy. But, as of now, I'm going to try and stick it out.
 
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