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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
just signed up to to this forum yesterday, its enlightning to read everyones views, stories and so on about social anxiety which like so many people i "learned" during school and have taken with me through my 20's. this forum is telling me there are other people out there in this big wide world who go through what i go through! cheers to that guys...now just reading through books in particular "diaganolly parked in a parelell universe" (highly recomended) sticking with my thought records and taking each day as it comes....where my SAD is most prominent is anythin to do with work. looking for a job, interviews are an imposible nightmare i guess cos we ARE literally being "judged" as to whether were good enough!!

anyways just though id say hi and it would be good to hear from anyone who can relate to anythin im rambling on about here!!

"a mans legacy is not built by his being what he thinks he needs to be......but by what he believes he wants to become"
 

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Welcome to SAS Toby! I also like this forum because there are so many people that I can relate to.
 

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Hey Toby welcome. :)
 

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I think you hit the nail on the head with the "being judged" thing.

As a kid, I was forever being told that I was BAD, mainly by my mother, but I didn't let it bother me because I didn't especially like her - she was a very cranky and disagreeable person not only to me, but to almost everyone else.

In school, I was a bright kid and did well, so the "judgmental" part (grades) were not a problem. I was also very competitive, and proud of being smart.

Only when I became an adult and got into a job situation where "evaluations" could mean economic survival or disaster, did I learn to be afraid. This became especially critical after I got divorced from an abusive husband and was totally on my own.

I had trouble with depression, had difficulty paying attention to details (in a highly detail-oriented job) and suddenly, "evaluations" became the embodiment of Hell. I think that's where I picked up PTSD. I lived in fear, literally, every day for years, of making that one, final, unforgivable mistake - and being fired. I would have been on the street. No relatives to fall back on.

Even though now I am safely retired, with a decent pension, I feel absolute terror if I find myself in a situation where I could be "judged."

It doesn't seem to be related to my current reality at all. I am happily married, economically safe, with wonderful kids and grandkids. So why do I go into an emotional tailspin (and I'm talking SERIOUS ones here - I need to take tranquilizers to get through things that would never have fazed me before) in relatively innocuous situations??
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hello and welcome. :) Thanks for the book recomendation - I'll put it on my (rather long) to-read list. Who's it by?
hi madison,

lots of good book options at amazon.com thats where i always look. diaganolly parked is written by signe. a. dayhoff. another good book to go with that is mind over mood by dennis greenberger and christine padesky. what books are you reading at moment? do you find the though records and os on helpful?
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, Toby0625! :)
 
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