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Could use some help

I'm going to class today for the first time, totally alone. I used to always match my timings to this girl who i realised i have become totally dependent on. She was there from the first day i joined..and she's very social so i kind of tagged along. But lately she got really well, b*tchy and today i realised how much she wanted to have control over me and take advantage of me. She told me not to go to classes today because she wasn't going..and i said i would go and then she got real rude. She knows i'm not fond of being on my own and she actually started trying to scare me and trying freak me out about being alone in the classes without her etc. saying i would get bored, it would be soo awkward etc. I could see her trying to manipulate me very obviously. I guess she wants me to be like her um, tag along forever. But i don't want to be one, obviously. And nor do i want to be dependent on any one person especially those who take advantage of me. Well i told her i would go whether she came or not. And that didn't go down well with her. I got the number of another girl in our class (from her :D ) and kinda familiarized myself with her, i think it will help me today. Of course it didn't go down well with the one who was trying to scare me either. Anyway, i need to make a statement that i'm not gonna be her follower. So i am gonna go. Now that i've done all this, i'm really nervous! I leave in an hour and i'm pretty darn scared, her attempts to freak me out about being alone, did work even though i didn't show it in front of her.
So yeah..i don't know if you understood any of this. I hope you did. I'm pretty panic stricken right now.
I don't know if i posted this in the right forum..
 

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Well done on making that decision to be independent, and yeah she sounds like a ***** alright. It might feel safer tagging along, but its better/healthier for you to step out on your own. And, you can do this.

One thing I've found really helpful lately is to actively observe my surroundings. Like when you're walking to class, look at the colour of the doors, what do you feel about them? Do they need a new paint job? What about the floors; are they dirty; wonder how many people have puked on these floors in the history of the school. That person is wearing nice jeans, ooh and nice shoes. Nice blue sky; hardly any clouds; cool day; green grass; wonder what its like to just say **** it and roll around on it etc etc.

The point is to actively observe your surroundings. This prevents those anxiety thoughts from ruling your mind because you're so occupied with looking at the world around you. Don't concentrate so much on looking at people if that freaks you out.

Once you're inside the class, it'll be slightly harder to do this because there are fewer things to look at compared to when you're walking outside. Still, there are lots of things to look at even in a classroom. First off try concentrating on the actual subject being discussed. If those anxiety thoughts start creeping in start observing your class room. What is the person in front of your wearing; do you like it; if so exactly where could you buy it? Wonder what everyone would look like nekkid. Is your teacher hot :)b) etc etc Then after a while come back to your studies again etc.

If anxiety thoughts slip into your head, its okay. They are just stupid thoughts coming from your idle mind.

You can do this! :)
 

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I wouldnt associate with her anymore if I were you, I think she'll just hold you back when it comes to getting past your anxiety
 
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