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I have been aware of my social phobia for the last two years, I started college and completed my first two years of my degree I am now taking a year of my course but I have always had very bad problems when dealing with presentations in front of my class mates over the last while my anxiety has gotten worse and I now find I am finding it affects me during simple things such as going to the shops, walking to the train station, or walking anywhere which involves a lot of people. My dad passed away a week and a half ago and I do not know how to deal with it, I am only 19 and my dad was only 51 and I am not coping well withn my social phobia and my fathers death I was hoping other people who have been on similiar situatuins could give me some advice please as I feel rather lost and confused.
 

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I'm so sorry about your Dad. Social anxiety is so tough to cope with on it's own, but definitely put off any worrying about SA. You could try counseling at your school, they are usually very understanding and are there to help. My college held a group therapy session for people who have loss someone, maybe something like that could be helpful when you're ready.

"Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking
and sings while it is still dark."

~ Rabindranath Tagore
 

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I haven't had this situation happen to me, but I am definitely a person who struggles with social anxiety.

It seems like it has been under control until recently, when your dad passed away unexpectedly. This is an incredibly unfortunate and stressful event, and it is very reasonable that you would react to that stress by having more social anxiety in different situations.

The best thing to do is to talk to someone constantly about your feelings, whenever you are bothered, by this tragic event. If you have a close friend or relative you can talk to, that is a great place to start. If none of your family or friends are close enough to talk to, go to your university counseling center and talk to a counselor (counseling was very helpful for me and I strongly recommend it) and they can give you the additional emotional support you need while you go through this tough time in your life.

I want to stress that your response to this situation is absolutely typical and to be expected; anybody would become very stressed and increasingly anxious if such an event happened. The important thing is to talk to someone about it until you are emotionally healed, which can take some time. My sincere condolences are with you and be sure to ask questions of me or others on this site if you have more.
 

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I have been aware of my social phobia for the last two years, I started college and completed my first two years of my degree I am now taking a year of my course but I have always had very bad problems when dealing with presentations in front of my class mates over the last while my anxiety has gotten worse and I now find I am finding it affects me during simple things such as going to the shops, walking to the train station, or walking anywhere which involves a lot of people. My dad passed away a week and a half ago and I do not know how to deal with it, I am only 19 and my dad was only 51 and I am not coping well withn my social phobia and my fathers death I was hoping other people who have been on similiar situatuins could give me some advice please as I feel rather lost and confused.
without wanting to sound too hard on you, the very first thing you have to do is to accept the suffering of your situation, as it is. don't invest much effort in trying to get rid of it and make it disappear thinking that you shouldn't feel the way you do. once the suffering is there, its past reasons are irrelevent to the problem.

anxiety is not an illness which comes upon us against our will. the fact that you are living individual capable of feelings makes you experience anxiety. everyone everywhere feels it, it's just that most of people are not aware of it on a reflexive level, and they usually tend to pass from one thing to another in their lives, absorbed into that dull but "safe" oblivion (it only appears as "safe", since sooner or later the pangs of anxiety will find their way through the surface). there is no "first time" to when you experienced anxiety, there is a first time of when you became aware of it, as it is, in itself. also, anxiety itself is not really a problem. it is the suffering we create around it. anxiety, if anything, makes you more aware and present in the situation, but it is the attitude of resisting it that causes the pain associated with it.

sorry for this scrambled lines, it's rather late over here, and i would like to offer something which might be useful to you in any way; even if you completely disagree with the above, as long as it makes you think as an individual, those lines were not wasted.

that's all for now. if you would like to know more about these things, try reading and learning about yourself and existence (early sartre and camus are a good start), and then eventually understand it. that is the only real "cure" to the pains of anxiety (and feelings in general as a matter of fact, but that is a digression).

good luck to you and all the best.
 
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