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I used to be on 60mg Citalopram, for about four years. It made me pretty dull, really tired. Basically a zombie but I was really, really happy about it. I slept about 14 hours a day if I was allowed the time to.

I had to reduce the amount to 40mg about a month ago. I needed to be able to function properly during the day. My mom finally got a transplant and I had to be able to function as head of household / nurse maid. I did pretty well the first few weeks. The last two weeks have been getting progressively worse.

Even though I am in a social anxiety group therapy and I have been unemployed and living at home for a year, I'm beginning to get a lot of sad moments and aggressive thoughts again, and I'm having difficulty coping. I cannot talk about these issues with my mother as her one and only strategy is to get frustrated and lecture it out of me. It does not matter what I say, she always ends up angry with me. My other family members are far too busy with their own lives for me to phone them up and confide. The social group is very full and mainly men, so I am unable to have much time to talk about my own issues.

Two years ago I had a very similar drop in my progress due to extremely bad circumstances in my workplace. I began drinking a lot, abusing prescription drugs, and physically harming myself. I spent a lot of my time high or unconscious. I really do not want to get to that place again.

However, I cannot stop thoughts of physical harm to myself, fantasies of death, morbid thoughts, episodes of complete despair, etc. I also can no longer sleep at night without the aid of a medication. I am so afraid to have my mother catch me being sad again because I know it will make her so angry at me. It's aggravating my anxiety to the point of locking myself in my closet so I can cry in private. I have no idea what to do, because this constant fear and depression is affecting the small progress I was making with my social anxiety work.
 

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I often struggle with violent, aggressive thoughts too. It's hard to cope with it because I have such a bad temper, but I do my best to shove them down or drown them in logic whenever they come up.
 

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Gentle Impulsion
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i don't really know what to say but i guess keeping myself busy with thinking about other things really helps. like... listening to music and tv are really good for that. unless the shows are violent.

*hugss!* =]
 

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I think you need something positive fast. Something good, that you like, that you get really into. Could be music, fitness, poetry, anything. You need something to take away from the misery and clear you head a little.
 

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Maybe try smoking weed? I don't think it's possible to be aggressive while high on pot.

Other than that, maybe try to find a smaller therapy group or something else all together that would be a better use of time for making you feel better.

You should be able to get a prescription for pot... I think. They give it to depressed people now apparently.
 

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"Anger is a gift."- Malcolm X

As long as your not hitting people or verbally assulting people i think anger is important and can be used to your advantage.
 

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I took up exercising - it's healthy to be in shape and takes out a lot of the adrenaline and stress. You can take out your aggression by walking briskly at first or even jogging. I have been a runner for close to ten years now - it does wonders. :)

Remember, they are just thoughts......distractions from things you are not ready to face.
 

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I took up exercising - it's healthy to be in shape and takes out a lot of the adrenaline and stress. You can take out your aggression by walking briskly at first or even jogging. I have been a runner for close to ten years now - it does wonders. :)

Remember, they are just thoughts......distractions from things you are not ready to face.
+1 For exercise.

Try lifting weights though. Use the muscle groups you feel like lashing out with. For example, if you really want to punch some dude, use your arms by bench pressing, etc. The "ow, that kinda hurts" aspect of the exercise will distract you, and you can use your anger to get stronger. In the process, you'll find yourself less angry, but more confident.
 

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Eh, she's female though, prob doesn't want to be lifting tons of weights.

But for me yeah weightlifting is good. Plus angry is the best state of mind for exercise.. lets you lift slightly more than otherwise (supposedly).
 

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Eh, she's female though, prob doesn't want to be lifting tons of weights.

But for me yeah weightlifting is good. Plus angry is the best state of mind for exercise.. lets you lift slightly more than otherwise (supposedly).
Ooops, good point. I'd still say go for weightlifting exercises though. Stuff she can do repeatedly that feels ok, and won't pull a muscle. Lightweight butterflies or something. I say this because when I'm angry I can't get into cardio stuff.
 

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I think lifting weights is a great idea, challenge yourself and make progress every week and you'll feel happier and look better to boot, as well as being more capable in everyday tasks. Just don't go overboard and train 24/7 like those female olympic bodybuilders.

Although really one of my goals in life is to see a female bodybuilder up close in person. It's sexy in a twisted sort of way but I think it would send my social anxiety through the roof :afr
 

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I'm a female and exercise has helped my anger immensely (as well as flashes of voilence, etc thoughts/images). It sounds like you are under a lot of stress and it's making your symptoms way worse. I have that happen too.

I can only give the advice that works for me:

*Make sure I get some personal time, breaks with no pressure
*Do the things that help me relax: shower, movie, cup of non caffiene tea (self soothe)
*Make myself keep taking care of myself no matter how badly I feel: vitamins, eat, sleep, exercise

Sorry to hear things are so rough, hope they lighten up for you soon!
 

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When I'm angry, cardio makes me more angry. I don't know why. Weight lifting sort of helps, though.

The only thing that really works is a distraction of some kind. Last night this lady tried to push in front of me on the bus (and nobody ever does that on this kind of bus; people line up like human beings and proceed in a civil manner). Then, she yelled at the bus driver because her seat was reclined and she didn't know how to change it. Then she had a very loud cell phone conversation. And when she finally got off the bus, she whacked me on the head with her purse and did not apologise.

I had some pretty violent thoughts afterwards. Luckily I was able to distract myself with my mp3 player and calm down. I am such a psycho.
 

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When I'm angry, 99.9 percent of the time it's because I'm upset with myself. Sometimes I'll exercise when I'm angry because I hate exercising and it's a way of punishing myself for being such a loser.
 
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