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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I thought of the idea of buying a cooking class to get around more people and possibly make friends or at least learn how to cook so that I could make my own food.

The thing is that it seems all the cooking classes in my area are for couples? Like all the reviews say about how their were 4 couples at their class and the classes have tags like “Asian food” “couples” “dating” etc. I wonder if I could go by myself I noticed that all the classes currently have an even number of people signed up as if people are signing up in pairs. Also I don’t know anything about cooking and none of the classes say flat out “beginner cooking 101” they all have food themes like sushi or pasta or something and it doesn’t say if there are pre reqs so I’m worried that if I show up that I’ll drag the class behind and the 3 couples will get mad at me. Also I’m worried that if I go with 3 couples they aren’t gonna want to talk to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Can you message the person running the class and ask them the things that are on your mind?
I’m not gonna go. The classes are labeled couples and literally none of the classes have an odd number of signups. If I showed up alone then everyone would be annoyed. And I’d probably feel terrible and left out. And besides, it’s small groups of 8 so if i go it’s a group of 7 and I am so awkward and weird that I would ruin 3 couples dates. I just don’t want to deal with any of that.

I’m just going to focus on going to a board game group I found out about a few weeks ago. I will also maybe sign up for a pottery class.
 

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Well if you can find a beginners cooking class that might be a good starting point. You can focus on the cooking instead of socializing and that way slowly get more relaxed.
You really do your best to put yourself out there man, you can be proud of your efforts, your luck will change you deserve it.
 

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Uhh I kind of hate to say this but here’s my honest experience:

A couple years ago, my therapist at the time suggested I go to a cooking class/demo. It was a small class at the local co-op. So I paid like 20$ to get in.

It was on a Saturday. I was feeling nervous, obviously because of SA. I went in and most people were already there sitting in pairs or small groups. I found a seat next to two middle aged women friends. We made some small talk but the class was mostly focused on watching the cook at the front cook.

My point here is that it wasn’t, at least in my experience, a good way to make friends. But maybe if you found a class that was repeating every week that could work. It’s just the problem was that people there already were with people they knew. This experience makes me question if therapists give good advice regarding making friends.
 

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I think probably some kind of game club would be better. You're not necessarily going to be socialising at a cooking class because the point is learning how to cook.

Edit: nevermind I see you already brought that up.
 

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Uhh I kind of hate to say this but here’s my honest experience:

A couple years ago, my therapist at the time suggested I go to a cooking class/demo. It was a small class at the local co-op. So I paid like 20$ to get in.

It was on a Saturday. I was feeling nervous, obviously because of SA. I went in and most people were already there sitting in pairs or small groups. I found a seat next to two middle aged women friends. We made some small talk but the class was mostly focused on watching the cook at the front cook.

My point here is that it wasn’t, at least in my experience, a good way to make friends. But maybe if you found a class that was repeating every week that could work. It’s just the problem was that people there already were with people they knew. This experience makes me question if therapists give good advice regarding making friends.
You raise the most important point of looking for activities that repeat every week. To be honest, I think expectations of immediately getting social into the social mix in your first visit, especially if you have social anxiety, are too far optimistic. It would be disappointing if therapists don't manage your expectations. Instead, usually as you keep going, not only will you have more chances of incidentally opening up to people, but you'll be a more familiar face and part of the "community" - especially considering how most people just come and go. [edit]To emphasise this, if it was an ongoing activity instead of a one off, I myself wouldn't be pushing at all to make friends during the first visit, and stead would expect this time to just be comfortable with the class itself.

As someone who hasn't had therapy, I'm highly skeptical of them based on experiences I hear from people like yourself. But regardless, from a social anxiety development perspective, going there was probably challenging enough for you. Congratulations on giving it a go.

There do exist activities that do naturally mix people up as part of the activity dynamics regardless of who you came in with. But the range of activities is very small - and I don't think cooking classes are one of them, unless if the particular class insists on switching partners.

For the majority of activities, the only way to be social is to assert yourself by opening up to people despite the dynamics of the activity. There is also the small window before the class where everyone is waiting to get in, for which you can open up some small talk with some people.
 

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You raise the most important point of looking for activities that repeat every week. To be honest, I think expectations of immediately getting social into the social mix in your first visit, especially if you have social anxiety, are too far optimistic. It would be disappointing if therapists don't manage your expectations. Instead, usually as you keep going, not only will you have more chances of incidentally opening up to people, but you'll be a more familiar face and part of the "community" - especially considering how most people just come and go. [edit]To emphasise this, if it was an ongoing activity instead of a one off, I myself wouldn't be pushing at all to make friends during the first visit, and stead would expect this time to just be comfortable with the class itself.

As someone who hasn't had therapy, I'm highly skeptical of them based on experiences I hear from people like yourself. But regardless, from a social anxiety development perspective, going there was probably challenging enough for you. Congratulations on giving it a go.

There do exist activities that do naturally mix people up as part of the activity dynamics regardless of who you came in with. But the range of activities is very small - and I don't think cooking classes are one of them, unless if the particular class insists on switching partners.

For the majority of activities, the only way to be social is to assert yourself by opening up to people despite the dynamics of the activity. There is also the small window before the class where everyone is waiting to get in, for which you can open up some small talk with some people.
Yeah… I think therapists means well but certain environments aren’t good for meeting friends. I’ve even heard of a story from the site of someone’s therapist suggesting they talk to people at the bus stop to socialize and make friends.
 

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I'd love to go to a cooking class cause I suck at it. I was never really taught to cook by my parents. But yeah it seems like these sorts of things are group activities for friends or family. It would be too uncomfortable to do that sort of thing alone. I'm sorry that didn't work out for you.
 
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