Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Seems really stupid but I'm 19 and I have no idea how to make proper conversation, that doesn't involve schoolwork. Most people seem nice enough to try and talk to me first. But the entire time I'm only worried about what I should say. Then it becomes awkward, like they expect me to say something and I just feel like avoiding them at that point. I've been thinking that if I avoid them more, they'll have a better impression of me instead of me letting them know I'm uninteresting or shy. So how do you make it work?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,435 Posts
I have the same issue. I remember at school uni I could only initiate convos by talking about schoolwork, but I could never branch out from there. I still have the same problem. I don't want to be a great conversationalist but I wish I could at least maintain a basic, interesting converssation like most people seem to be able to do.

It helps, though if you pick out people who you can relate to through something you have in common. In the same school team? Talk about that and expand to the national game etc.

Sometimes I don't have a problem with not being good at this, but when I'm in a group of people who are all talking along I feel bad.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
I completely understand. I worry about what to say "Will people like me? Maybe I am not funny or interesting enough. I might suffer public humiliation. I won't say anything."

Today though I made a breakthrough. I overheard these two girls (one very cute) talking about some guy. The very cute one is obviously very attracted to this guy and they are planning on wearing a costume or something. She said it was a homosexual costume or something along these lines.

I immediately butt into the conversation. "Excuse me, did you say a straight guy wants to dress up as a ****. I am not homophobic at all, but don't you see something wrong here?"

It was really awesome because I kind of made fun of her and the whole situation. I made fun of her for being attracted to a guy that might be gay, and real men don't even think about dressing up as a homosexual.

She said, "Yeah, but he is, like, so comfortable in his sexuality."

Then I said, "Which sexuality is that exactly? Are you sure? I think you just don't want him to be gay, but if he wants to dress gay, then he's probably gay!"

They really laughed and it was a lot of fun. This was probably my first positive, fun interactions with one of my female peers that I have had in months.

My point is that I feel like we just need to let go of trying to be perfect and try to be a little more positive and playful. This made that moment enjoyable for me. I think I need to apply this more often.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,265 Posts
Haha bucslappy that was a funny Convo!! Glad you had the guts to start a convo :D!
 

·
hangin' loose...
Joined
·
38 Posts
if i'm not around people with whom i share common interests, it can be difficult. and, i tend to be a bit of a smart ***....so i have to be careful when i'm around a group of people i don't really know well--and who don't know me. if i'm in a new situation, i try to just listen, and smile or laugh when it seems appropriate. i try not to be too quiet, or walk away--cuz they might think i don't like them, or am disinterested. {i don't want to offend them. } but, if i'm really uncomfortable, i will politely excuse myself and say that i'll talk with them a little bit later.

one thought i have is that, sometimes, i will make myself vulnerable by letting people know that i'm a bit shy, and then they might try to draw me into their conversation. sometimes it works.... it's worth a shot...

i've found that i don't always have to talk for people to accept me. but, to reiterate, it's always easier when i'm with those who know and accept me for who i am. that way, i don't have to "sweat out" the entire conversation--hoping i don't say something too awful, or offensive, or irrelevant.

i think that joining an organization--church, school club, or any group that interests you might be the way to start feeling comfortable in yer own skin.

just a thought. good luck!
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top