[lastofthekews]

I've just emailed my brother to explain why i've always been so distant to him and his wife and children; which has caused us not to speak at all for the last two years. I've been thinking about making up with him for a while now, but have been to scared to do anything about it, but sitting here tonight I just thought i've had enough of this, I want to make up with him, so I wrote an email to him before I could talk myself out of it.

I don't know what his reaction will be, and i'm really nervous about it, but I keep telling myself that he's my brother and I shouldn't feel unable to talk to him.

 

[millenniumman75]

I don't know what his reaction will be, and i'm really nervous about it, but I keep telling myself that he's my brother and I shouldn't feel unable to talk to him.

It might be a little weird at the beginning, but I am sure that you will talk about what you guys missed. It doesn't sound like much has changed or else you would have heard about it (like if he had a child or something).

You should be able to talk to your own family. :yes
Great job on making the connection available, though :boogie :boogie :boogie

 

[leomouse]

that's awesome!! it's good you made this first step to re-establish the relationship and i'm sure your brother will be glad it's not something he did.

 

[pamtriick]

It is HUGE that you made the first step and you need to acknowledge that to yourself. If your brother doesn't accept it at first, don't give up. Most people don't understand this and they see it as a cop out... an excuse if you will.

Don't be discouraged. This is something that is very hard to explain and more hard to prove. But, one good thing is... it can be managed and overcome!

 

[lastofthekews]

Excellent news - he's emailed me back saying he's glad i've contacted him!

I put a lot of personal stuff in the email, and he's responded likewise. This was hard for me, and must have been hard for him, as we were always taught to hide our feelings and pretend everything is alright. Until recently i've never told any of my family how I feel, but i've now told my mum and two of my brothers, and they're starting to do likewise.

I want to stay in contact with him now, but I don't want to rush it yet as if things start moving too quickly i'll most likely start panicking about it and go back to avoiding my family, which I don't want to happen.

I've always hidden my feelings, thinking i'm stupid for feeling the way I do, but this last couple of months i've slowly started to tell people how I am and on the whole they all seem to respond with understanding and have opened up to me about their feelings/problems. Although I still feel anxious and inadequate all the time, i'm beginning to realise that most people are like this, just some are better at hiding it than others.

 

[Canadian Brotha]

Nice job!

I say go at your own pace with your reunion though, so long as you stay in touch I'm sure your bro won't mind

 

[power2theweak]

That is wonderful news! I'm so happy for both of you!