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Hi I am completely new to this whole SA thing. I have thought for years I just grew up in a small town and had no social experience, but when I finally moved away with my husband, I noticed it just got worse. Of course I am completely out of my element with having to make new friends and all, the anxiety overwhelmed me. I never knew it had a name. My husband always tries to get me to go to parties where he knows some of the people and he is constantly telling me to go "be social", or "stop being so shy", but even if I had a few drinks, it never loosens me up enough to even approach someone I don't know. My coworkers try to get me to come out with them after work, usually to a place i have never been and it freaks me out so much i automatically think of some excuse why i can't go. Even being around my inlaws triggers the anxiety so bad I have to end up leaving. On a good day i will walk into the mall by myself, but not usually. I always feel like people are criticizing me and watching every move I make. Sometimes I feel like a looser because I never have anything interesting to talk about to anyone. I didn't feel good today at work and I couldn't find the way to ask my boss if i could leave.
If anyone has any advice for me that would be great. Also...how do i go about telling my husband about this. In his eyes I am this strong sweet woman that can handle almost anything. I feel like I am going to disappoint him. :(
 

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Hi, welcome to the forums :) I don't have much advice for your issues unfortunately. Though I do think you shouldn't be worried about telling your husband. If he really cares he would be concerned about helping you out and not making you feel uncomfortable about it.
 

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We all can relate to what you are going through. Our circumstances and conditions may not be exactly the same, but for the most part we all share the same predicaments. Welcome to the SAS site. You will find a lot of support and friends here!
 

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Im sorry you are having a tough time, but you're not alone. I do have some tips that have been helping me greatly.

I always thought i was the one who had to come up with things to talk about, but the skill of being a good conversationalist is not being a good talker but being a good listener. Really take an interest in what someone else is saying, be a curious and open minded person, and ask questions. People love talking about one thing the most, and that is themselves. Develop the skill of really listening. listen to other peoples conversations from a far, and practice formulating questions you would ask them if you were in that very conversation. People are literally dying for someone to be genuine, open, and willing to hear them out, and you would be surprised what kind of wonderful treasures you can find in people. Just have an open mind.
 

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Hey snugllebug :wels
 

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Welcome, SnuglleBug! :)
 
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